‘AITA because I disagreed with my father over my daughter ordering what she wants for breakfast?’

A 44-year-old woman has taken to Reddit’s subsection, “Am I the A**hole” (AITA), to describe her father’s behavior, which she found rude towards her and her teenage daughter.

The Redditor, under the username Resistiane, began, “My Dad (68) has always been frugal. His frugality has served him well, he has a beautiful home, savings, he's been retired for over 10 years, multiple rental properties etc. Recently my daughter (15) and I drove up from Phoenix to visit him over the weekend.”

Woman’s father took her and her daughter to eat outside

She explained that on most days her father prefers to cook breakfast but “on this particular morning, he didn't feel like it and told us we were going out to breakfast.”

The woman found it unusual because her father did not like to spend on outside food. She shared, “He took us to a local diner type place and we all ordered. My daughter ordered the chicken fried steak. I heard my Dad mumble something like ‘..the things you order’.”

“I thought he was just referring to the portion size since my daughter is so small, but it didn't seem like a big deal at the moment,” she noted.

The Reddit user also revealed that she and her daughter did not waste the food and ate all they ordered, and even thanked the old man.

Woman says her father did not like her daughter ordering ‘chicken fried steak’

But things got worse later in the day when her father said, “‘I can't stand it anymore!’ gets out of his recliner and comes into the kitchen with us.”

“He has this ‘rule of etiquette’ that says that if someone invites you to a meal out, you should never order anything more expensive than the person that's paying,” she mentioned.

But the woman believes that her father was rude towards them since her daughter did not order “an outrageously priced meal”. 

She also noted that this kind of thing had happened earlier also as her daughter had "told me that he'd mentioned it to her while visiting him at his winter place a few years ago, and I told her to let me know if it happened again and I'd talk to him about it.”

Woman claims her daughter is a kind person

The woman, in her Reddit post, also asserted that her daughter is a fantastic person, who is kind and respectful.

“She still goes and visits her grandparents. She's a delight and does not need to be taught a lesson,” the woman wrote, before adding, “I'm going back to my Dad's house this weekend, if it comes up again am I the asshole here?”

Redditors advise woman to ‘pay for your own meals’

A fellow Reddit user commented below, “NTA. Unless you order steak and lobster or something ridiculous like that, being a few bucks more than the payer is fine. I would not go out to eat anymore with him or I would just pay for myself from now on.”

Another Reddit user said, “Your dad has a weird sense of etiquette. What she ordered is perfectly fine. It's not like she ordered the most expensive items on the menu! What I want to know is, he has been your father for over 40 years and is JUST NOW saying what he feels is ‘proper etiquette’??? NTA.”

A person shared, “If cost is an issue for Gramps, he could've said she could order whatever but keep the total under X. I mean, that's how we did it as kids. ‘How much can we spend, Mom?’ and then we'd get creative: multiple apps, a meal, a dessert and a beverage, etc NTA.”

The second one wrote, “Your dad is the AH for being so cheap over a reasonable meal that wasn’t wasted. Does he plan to take his wealth with him when he dies in about 15 years? I’d limit my visits (definitely stay at a hotel to save him $3 in the extra water you used for a weekend) and insist on paying for my and my child’s meals since he insists on freaking out over an extra $5 or so for a meal NTA.”

“Nta - just pay for your own meals. Also, pay attention to your dad's behavior, irritability or short fuse may be signs of early dementia,” an individual suggested.

Another one added, “I’ve never heard of that rule. If your dad is going to quibble at a $5 difference in his and your daughter’s meal then perhaps he shouldn’t be offering to take anyone out for lunch. He sounds unpleasant.”

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