'AITA for being angry after my brother proposed to his girlfriend at my wedding despite refusal?'

Everyone has their own dreams and plans for making special moments memorable, but sometimes those plans are disrupted by loved ones.

A 32-year-old man has accused his 29-year-old brother of stealing the spotlight on his wedding day by proposing to his girlfriend during the ceremony, despite his older brother’s request not to.

The incident has caused a rift between the siblings, with the elder brother criticizing his younger sibling for overshadowing his and his wife’s big day. Now, the older brother appears to be reconsidering his actions, leaving many curious about what the internet thinks of this family drama.

Elder brother refuses to let younger brother propose to his girlfriend at his wedding

A Reddit user named 'airetayhh' posted a thread titled, 'AITA for refusing to let my brother propose to his girlfriend at my wedding?'

The 32-year-old man began the post by saying, "Hi, I (32M) recently got married to my amazing wife (30F), but what should’ve been one of the happiest days of my life turned into a major blow-up with my brother, T. (29M). Now I’m questioning if I handled things the wrong way, even though I feel like I was in the right." 

He went on to explain the context behind his decision, "T. and I have always been close, but he’s got a habit of making everything about him. He’s been dating his girlfriend, E. (29F), for about three years now. She’s wonderful, and honestly, we all thought they’d be engaged by now, but T. has always dragged his feet when it comes to big commitments."

The post continued, "About a month before my wedding, T. came to me with a “big idea.” He wanted to propose to E. during my wedding reception. His pitch was that weddings are all about love, and it would be “symbolic” for him to pop the question surrounded by family and friends. He also said it would save him the trouble of planning something elaborate." 

He then detailed how strongly he had reiterated his refusal, "I told him flat-out no. I explained that I wanted the day to be focused on my wife and me, especially since she put so much effort into planning every detail. I said it wouldn’t feel fair for our day to be overshadowed by someone else’s big moment. T. acted like he understood and said he’d find another time to propose. I thought we were on the same page." 

Younger brother leaves elder brother and his wife stunned by proposing to his girlfriend

Then the user described what happened on his big day, "Fast forward to the wedding day. Everything was going perfectly—ceremony, first dance, speeches. Then, during the reception, while people were starting their meals, I suddenly heard a commotion. I looked over and saw T. on one knee in the middle of the dance floor, holding out a ring to E." 

"The room erupted in cheers and clapping, but I was absolutely livid. E. looked shocked but said yes, and the two of them hugged while everyone crowded around them, congratulating them. Meanwhile, my wife and I were sitting at our table, stunned," the elder brother explained how his younger brother left him and his wife stunned on their special day. 

He also shared the conversation he had with his 29-year-old brother after the proposal took place during the ceremony, "I pulled T. aside congratuled him awkwardly and asked him what the hell he was doing. He brushed me off, saying “It was the perfect moment! Everyone was already here, and it just felt right!” I reminded him that I had explicitly told him no, but he rolled his eyes and said “Come on, man, it didn’t ruin anything. People are still celebrating your wedding.” Eventho afterwards everyone was just talking about them/to them." 

Additionally, the original poster explained how his and his wife’s big day was ruined, "My wife was heartbroken. She said she felt like her special day had been hijacked, and I completely agreed. The rest of the night was awkward—people kept congratulating T. and E. more than they talked about the wedding. To make it worse, during his toast, T. said, “It’s a big day for love in our family!” and basically turned it into a speech about him and E."

32-year-old man confronts 29-year-old brother after wedding

The original poster then shared the conversation he had with his younger brother after the wedding ceremony was ruined, “The next day, I confronted T. again. I told him how disrespectful and selfish his actions were, and that he owed both me and my wife a massive apology. Instead, he doubled down, saying I was overreacting and being selfish for trying to “control the day.” He said weddings are about family, and I should be happy that everyone got to celebrate two milestones instead of just one.”

The Reddit user further explained how the 29-year-old's actions devastated the family, “The rest of the family is divided. Our parents are upset with T. but think I should “let it go” because “it’s not worth ruining your relationship with your brother.” A couple of relatives said I’m being dramatic, but others told me they couldn’t believe T. pulled a stunt like that.”

He added, “Now T. and I aren’t speaking. E. has been texting me, apologizing and saying she didn’t know he was going to propose that day, but T. insists he didn’t do anything wrong. My wife is furious and feels like her big day was stolen, and honestly I can’t blame her.”

He concluded the post, “So, reddit, am I the a**hole for not letting him propose—and for being angry that he did it anyway? Should I have just let it slide to keep the peace? I feel bad for being mad art him - E. is the love of his life, but in the same time i did tell him to not do this on ours special day.btw: im censouring all the names, to make sure of my familys priacy & also to somehow "make sure" my brother wont find out about this.”

Internet backs elder brother after his wedding was ruined by younger brother's proposal

After reading the 32-year-old man's grievance about how his wedding was ruined by his brother's proposal to his girlfriend, many internet users have rallied behind the elder brother in support.

One user said, “Exactly, it clearly shows a lack of boundaries, NTA, its your wedding and everything about the day should be about you.”

A second user jokingly wrote, “Send him the bill for the reception since it essentially turned into his engagement party. Nta.”

A user claimed, “NTA! He asked, you said no, and he did it anyways. He's the AH here and a major one. It sounds like your brother is in the words of the late Charlie Murphy, "A Habitual Line-Stepper."”

Another shared, “I’d send T a bill for half the cost of the reception. I’d also make sure E knows what he said about proposing at your wedding saved him the trouble of planning and paying for something. She needs to know what kind of loser T really is.”

A netizen commented, “NTA - didn’t read either but from the title no you’re not. I never understand why people propose at someone else’s wedding. It’s weird.”

Finally a user suggested, “Get pregnant and announce it at THEIR wedding. Even if you aren’t pregnant, announce that you are.”

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