‘AITA for being angry with wife for making me choose between her and my trip with friends?’

A man shared his dilemma on Reddit after his wife made him choose between her and his friends.

The Redditor, under the username Ok_Shock5553, posted on Reddit’s "Am I the A**hole" (AITA) forum that his friends decided to go skiing in Europe.

He mentioned in the post titled "AITA wife wants me to choose her over my friends" that he asked his wife to also come along. However, later his friends “decided it was going to be a boys’ trip".

Man reveals wife was upset after change in trip plans

The Redditor revealed that when he told his wife about this change in plans, she became angry. “She said that she really wanted to go and it's not fair and that she would spend an equal amount of money on a trip for herself. She also said that her feelings were hurt,” the man explained.

The Redditor noted that he even tried to fix things but he could not "invite her to a group event that they wanted to be just the guys".

He said that this was not the first time something like this has happened. Earlier also, when he wanted to do something with his friends, his wife got angry.

“I told her I didn't like how she puts me in a position where it seems like I have to choose between her and my friends. She said that I should put her as number one priority over my friends which I don't think is fair,” the OP wrote.

Man calls out wife for being ‘childish’

The OP said that the situation had escalated now. "She has now threatened to not come home after work to even talk about it," he wrote.

“I feel like she is being childish and it's not fair for me to have to prioritize her over my friends,” he stated, before adding, “So AITA for wanting to compromise between the two and being angry that my wife puts me in an ultimatum between her and my friends?”

Internet reminds man that he’s married and should always choose his wife

Meanwhile, people in the comment section reminded the man that his wife should be his number one priority.

A fellow Redditor wrote, “YTA It’s sad you know your friends are in the wrong but yet you still choose to blame her for being upset.  They decided a month or so before the trip to change it to a guys only trip. Instead of calling them out for it you side with them. Then blame and accuse the wife for putting you in the middle for being upset. You should always want to have your spouse's side when they are wronged. Especially when they are wronged by your friends. You are not the victim here. If you loved your wife you’d call out your friends actions. Not defend them.”

Another user said, “YTA. You're married now, Dude. Wife should always be the first priority in terms of who to disappoint. How would you feel if she did this to you? Hands down, get your priorities in order if you are serious about making your marriage work.”

Another commented, “What madness is this? When did it become optional to bring your spouse on an international holiday? This isn’t a night at the pub with the boys or an afternoon footy match. I can’t even fathom the thinking of marrying someone, becoming a united unit, and then thinking this is ok! My husband is my favourite person and best friend in the world. I am his favourite person and best friend in the world. Why would you not want to share this amazing experience with the person you love most in the world? Do you love her? When you’re in a group setting and someone makes a joke, do you automatically catch her eye so you can share the joke together?"

The user continued, "When something awesome happens, isn’t she the person you want to share the news with first? When you have a great run down the slope don’t you want to look at her and go “woo hoo!” ? If not then why did you ruin her life by tricking her into marrying a man who doesn’t actually love her and isn’t willing to be a husband? I’ve got to assume that your friends are either not married or in bad relationships. They’re urging you to break up your marriage (and yes this will destroy your marriage even if she stays with you for a few years after this) because they think it will be more fun for them."

"Do they care what your life will be like after you destroy your marriage (especially if you do actually love your wife and are just a weak and easily manipulated man)? Do these friends have your best interests at heart? And why don’t you have any loyalty to your wife? Good grief man, pull on your big boy pants and act like an adult man who is capable of being loyal to the wife he chose! Yta," the user concluded.

“YATA Your wife IS your #1 priority. You made a commitment to her for life. Friends come and go- and guy trips should no longer be the top priority. Of course her feelings are hurt. You’re specifically excluding her. Skip the guy trip and go skiing with your wife,” an individual posted.

Another one added, “YTA but not how wanting a trip with your friends, but for not caring about how she feels. Why not offer to plan a trip just the two of you/with her friends/with some other couples? She is feeling left out, a compromise isn’t ‘you get to go and she’s happy about it’ which is what you seem to think it is. A compromise can include making active strides to find ways to include her. I do think the idea that you should stop having friends when you get married people are espousing in here is kinda wild though.”

“YTA - how exactly are you compromising? You and your wife need to learn to communicate and make these sort of decisions together. You chose to get married, that means you cannot unilaterally decide when to take a vacation, with or without her. You sound entirely dismissive of her. You are indeed wrong to view your boys of equal priority to your wife. Who will care for you when you’re sick? Who are you sharing finances and a home with? Of course your friends are still an important aspect but there is a balance in life, and you’re failing at that. Perhaps you two (you and your wife, not you and your friends) should seek couples counseling to learn how to communicate and treat each other with the respect you both deserve,” a comment read.

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