‘AITA for being mad at sister-in-law after she gave me dessert with nuts knowing I’m allergic?’

A family dinner party is often about celebrating togetherness, coupled with good food and a memorable time. But while hosting, one has to take care of the guests’ allergens and other food preferences. 

But what if the host intentionally feeds someone an item that the guest is allergic to? Something similar happened to a Redditor, a 32-year-old female, when she went to her brother’s house and her sister-in-law fed her almonds despite knowing her allergic reaction to nuts. 

Taking to the AITA section of Reddit, the OP (original poster) recently shared her grievances and the unsatisfactory reactions from her family members, asking other Redditors whether she was at fault for lashing out at her sister-in-law - Emma - for her deliberate mistake.

Redditor opens up about sister-in-law feeding her nuts despite knowing she's allergic

Taking to Reddit, the OP started her post writing, “AITA for going mad at my SIL after she served me dessert with nuts knowing I’m allergic?”

She started by giving a background to her cool relationship with Emma, who is her brother’s wife. Admitting that she is still fuming even though the incident happened a few days ago, the author wrote, “I (32F) have a nut allergy,” before explaining, “It’s not the kind that will send me to the hospital, but it’s bad enough severe stomach cramps, nausea, and sometimes even hives.”

She also confirmed that Emma knew about her allergies as the OP “told her multiple times over the years".

She further added that her relationship with Emma was never a close one. “She’s always been a bit... difficult. She has this habit of making little digs at me, and I’ve always felt like she doesn’t really like me," wrote the OP.

However, to maintain peace, the OP says she tries “to let it go". Recently, Emma invited the OP, her other brother and some family members to her place for dinner. 

“I went because I didn’t want to cause drama, and I figured it’d just be a few hours of smiling and nodding. The dinner itself was fine, but then Emma brought out dessert,” shared the author. 

She describes the dessert to be a “fancy chocolate tart thing,” noting, “everyone was raving about how good it looked".

She admitted that since she is “always careful about desserts,” she asked her, ““Hey, just checking there’s no nuts in this, right?””

The OP continued, “She looked me straight in the eye, smiled, and said, “No, you’re good! No nuts”.” 

“So I ate it," said the OP.

But after 10 minutes, the OP’s “stomach started cramping like crazy.” She revealed, “It was that familiar feeling, and I knew right away something was off. I asked her again, “Are you absolutely sure there’s no nuts in this?” And she just kind of smirked and said, “Oh, well, it does have a little almond paste, but it’s such a tiny amount. I didn’t think it would matter.””

The OP continued, “I was livid. Almonds are nuts. She knows I’m allergic. And the fact that she said it so casually, like it was no big deal, made it even worse. I had to leave her house early because I felt so awful, and I spent the rest of the night curled up in pain.”

The OP was disappointed further when she called up Emma the next day to confront her about it. 

“I told her what she did was irresponsible and flat-out dangerous. Her response? She laughed,” shared the OP. 

She continued, “She actually laughed and said, “You’re being so dramatic. It’s not like you’re deathly allergic. I didn’t think it would bother you"."

The author said at that point, she completely “lost it".

“I told her that if she couldn’t respect my health, then I wouldn’t be eating at her house anymore,” noted the author before sharing that her brother (Emma’s husband) too saw nothing wrong in it. 

“My brother is now mad at me, saying I embarrassed Emma and made a huge deal out of nothing. He thinks I’m overreacting and that she just made an innocent mistake,” added the author. 

She mused, “But here’s the thing I don’t think it was a mistake. I feel like she did it on purpose. She’s always been passive-aggressive with me, and this just feels like another way to get under my skin.”

The incident also created friction in their family. The OP said her  family is now divided.

“Some think I’m completely justified, while others think I should just let it go and move on,” shared the author, before concluding her post, asking, “So, AITA for losing it at my SIL for serving me a dessert with nuts, knowing I’m allergic? Or am I being too sensitive?”

Internet justifies OP's anger at her sister-in-law

The Internet did not mince words when they called out Emma for feeding the OP nuts intentionally. Some of the Redditors even suggested the OP to lodge a complaint with police to get the thing in written form. 

A comment read, "NTA. OP, in some jurisdictions, this is considered intentional poisoning. Might be interesting to look up your local codes and warn brother of just how risky she’s being with their future."

"Just call the cops and send them her way for questioning with a detailed statement," suggested someone else before doubling down, "Burn the s**t out of this bridge and ask did I stutter when I asked if there were nuts when they call."

"She made it on purpose," said another user before adding, "Meaning she poisoned you. You realize what she did is actual poisoning, right?" The user continued, "She risked your life because she hates that you have needs. It's that simple. She's punishing you because she can't stand that you have a weakness. It's sick, and it's dangerous. Get her to admit she knew it over text, then call the cops."

When a Redditor said, "NTA at all ! Your SIL for sure sounds like the real AH," the OP agreed with them. She wrote further, "Thank you, yea she can be a real AH she made it on purpose."

"NTA. She absolutely did it on purpose. You embarrassed her? She embarrassed herself and literally poisoned you. Stop keeping the peace and avoiding drama. If a scene needs to be made, make one. People treat you like you let them treat you. You keeping the peace all the time just emboldens her to treat you like this. Also, why is it the person wronged is urged to move on and let it go. F that. You should be extremely angry," justified someone else.

This article contains remarks made on the Internet by individual people and organizations. MEAWW cannot confirm them independently and does not support claims or opinions being made online.