'AITA for blocking my father after he slept through my wedding ceremony?'

A wedding is one of life’s most precious moments, but for one 32-year-old bride, her special day was overshadowed by an absence she didn’t initially notice, and a post-event confrontation that left her seeking peace over the holidays. 

The woman took to Reddit's "Am I The A**hole" (AITAH) forum to share her predicament about her father sleeping through her wedding ceremony and his nonchalant response to confrontation. 

Bride shares her father slept instead of watching her wedding ceremony

"Me (32F) and my husband (28M) recently had our civil marriage last week. We currently live in Europe and I came from a country in Southeast Asia while my husband is European. Due to budget constraints, we decided to have a small wedding and only invited the closest of his family and a few of my friends," the original poster (OP) wrote. 

The bride invited her father, mother, and sister to join virtually, and ensured that they knew the ceremony would take place at 9 pm at their time. However, only her mother and sister joined the video call.

The bride also shared some additional information: "One week prior to the wedding, my sister (28F) got engaged with her fiance while on a short trip with our parents and our father took some photos while it was happening. She specifically asked him not to post anything online but he went out and did it anyway. After this, I have always asked my family that wait for us to post first about the wedding before they can post anything."

"I didn’t notice at first that my father wasn’t there because we were a little late getting to the location," she recalled. When she finally asked where her father was, her sister offered a disheartening explanation: "She made a sad face and told me that he slept."

Trying to stay in the moment, the bride "just shrugged it off and tried to focus on the happiest day of my life."

Bride details how her father attempted to emotionally manipulate her after she confronted him

However, a week later, the emotional sting of her father’s absence became impossible to ignore.

"I asked him why he didn’t watch the ceremony," she said, only to receive a cryptic response: "Just know that I am happy for the both of you."

That exchange quickly spiraled. Shortly after, her father shifted the conversation to finances, asking for money for their Christmas preparations. "My family knows our budget was tight," she explained. "I already gave my sister some grocery money to help, but I couldn’t understand why he suddenly contacted me, ignoring my wedding, then later asking for money."

This was the breaking point. "I snapped after this," she admitted. "It really hurts that he can attend all other people’s weddings when he gets invited but not his own daughter’s."

Rather than trying to understand her point, the bride's father attempted to guilt trip her, writing, "You are different now, you are not the same daughter I raised," and, "When I die in the future, I know you will cry." While such words might have devastated her in the past, this time she felt nothing.

Her husband, however, responded poignantly. "Start loving what you have now than start loving what you don’t have," he told his father-in-law. While supportive, she eventually asked her husband to stop engaging. "He will always think he is right and flip the conversation to his side," she explained.

For this bride, peace trumped pretense this Christmas. "I know it’s Christmas, but I want peace of mind. I don’t want to pretend everything is okay with my father. It's better to have this peace for now and no further drama," the OP wrote, concluding her post. 

Redditors rally around bride who blocked her father after he slept through her wedding ceremony

Fellow Redditors collectively voiced its support for her decision, with many echoing her husband’s words as a reminder of what truly matters in life.

One expressed, "Sounds like you’ve been dealing with so much already, and honestly, blocking him sounds like the best move for your own peace. it’s your wedding, your moment—he had his chance. focus on the people who actually care about you 💕."

Following suit, another observed, "NTA. Your father’s actions, both during your wedding and afterward, show a lack of respect and consideration for your feelings. Sleeping through your wedding and brushing it off is deeply hurtful, and his immediate focus on asking for money rather than addressing his absence makes it worse. His emotionally manipulative behavior, including guilt-tripping with comments about his eventual death, further demonstrates his toxic tendencies. You’re within your rights to protect your peace by blocking him, especially given his history of emotional abuse. Prioritizing your mental well-being is not wrong, even during the holidays. Take the time you need to heal and focus on the family and relationships that truly bring you happiness."

"Your father’s behavior shows he prioritizes his needs over yours. It’s important to set boundaries and protect your mental health, especially during significant life events like your wedding," a person pointed out. 

One more wrote, "NTA. Your dad skipped your wedding but woke up quick to ask for money priorities, right? Blocking him after his manipulative guilt trip isn’t harsh it’s self-care. Protect your peace especially from someone who makes everything about them. You deserve better vibes for your happily ever after!"

"NTA your fathers sounds very emotionally manipulative and very very selfish. Just stay blocked and no longer let him in your life. I’d also say stop sending them money as he purely sees you as something he can use for money and not much more. So just stop. He’s the parent and father if they need money he can work or figure it out. The survived when you were a kid they know how and time they step up again. I know you love them but he clearly doesn’t care for you. That only he and his wants matter. So time to stop letting him hurt and abuse you," another person stated. 

One more expressed, "NTA. You deserve peace, especially on your wedding day. Emotional manipulation isn't love. Focus on those who genuinely care," and another person echoed, "NTA - He says you have changed. Really you have matured and are starting to realize that he is abusive emotionally and just using you for money. It is hard when as adults we start to see the failings of our parents and start to realize the family is not a happy unit as displayed in the movies. Continue to block him at least for the holidays to give yourself some peace and do not feel guilty about it,"

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