‘AITA for breaking up with a single mother after learning more about her children?’

Dating is often seen as a journey to find the right person, but it can also come with its fair share of complexities, especially when tough decisions are involved.

A 24-year-old man found himself caught between the chemistry he shared with a woman and the challenges of dating a single mother with two baby daddies. Ultimately, he decided to end things but soon regretted not being upfront about his true reasons for walking away.

Man breaks up with single mother of two babies having different fathers

In a post on Reddit's 'Am I the A**hole' forum titled, "AITAH for breaking things off with a single mom after seeing a picture and learning about her kids?" a 24-year-old man shared how he broke up with his girlfriend, a single mother, after learning more about her children. 

He began by explaining how he met Jasmine, a 25-year-old single mom, through a co-worker at the hospital where he worked. The co-worker had set them up after learning they were both single. He shared, "We kinda hit it off and we went on a couple of dates and I started to like her." 

He described Jasmine as "pretty, chill, and funny," and although he knew she had two boys, it wasn't a "dealbreaker" for him.

However, after a month of dating, Jasmine showed him a picture of herself with her children at Christmas. While the "kids were cute", the man noticed that they were "mixed race", while both he and Jasmine were White. He asked more about the children's father, and she explained that he wasn't involved and that she had to fight to get him to provide support. This was when the man learned that Jasmine had two different fathers for her children.

As time went on, he began to feel uneasy about the situation. "We continued our date at the brewery downtown, and I paid for our meals and drove her home. She asked when we would meet up again and I gave a kinda non-committal answer about being busy this week and letting her know," he explained. 

The OP confessed, "After being at home and stewing for a little while, I came to the decision that I don't want to be involved with her even as cool as she is. I'd very obviously not be the kids' father, I'd worry about future baby daddy issues, and I just felt uneasy as I got more invested about actually potentially becoming a stepdad. Maybe it's my own insecurities, but I just couldn't."

He then decided to end things with Jasmine. "I called Jasmine the next day and let her know that I'm no longer interested in dating and we could be friends if she wanted that, but she asked why and I said that I'm just not feeling the chemistry. We spoke for a little while after, but she just gave me a curt goodbye at the end," he wrote.

The OP was then confronted by the person who had introduced Jasmine. “Later at work, my coworker came up to me and asked what happened. She heard from Jasmine that I was treating her so gentlemanly and kind and things were going so well until I abrubtly ended it and Jasmine was a little torn up about it. I once again just said I was treating her nice but I just wasn't feeling the chemistry which was a fib since I was feeling the chemistry, I just had apprehensions about becoming closer to her.”

He concluded by asking, "So am I the a**hole? Should have I been honest and said why I didn't want to continue things or vocalized my insecurities before breaking things off? I hate that I might've hurt Jasmine's feelings, she really was a sweet girl."

Internet divided over OP's decision to break up with single mother

After the OP's breakup with Jasmine following his discovery of details about her children, Reddit users were divided. Some accused him of rejecting her because of the children, while others expressed support for his decision.

One person shared, "Keep the reasons for your decision to yourself. Stating your reasoning would serve no purpose. If I were you I’d be more worried about becoming Baby Daddy #3 more than the issues arising from her complicated family history. NTA."

One Reddit user said, “Your reasoning is like my diet—better kept under wraps! And honestly, worrying about being Baby Daddy #3 sounds way more stressful than any family history drama! NTA!”

A Redditor declared, “NTA. You don’t have to date and get into a committed relationship with anyone you don’t want to.”

One person noted, “NTA. You were polite and respectful.”

A user commented, “Well, if the kids’ race has anything to do with your decision, you’re an a**hole, obviously. Otherwise, NTA.”

Someone else slammed, “YTA, not for cutting it off but for breaking it off bc of her mixed race children then coming to reddit acting oblivious & innocent with your reasoning.”

This article contains remarks made on the internet by individual people and organizations. MEAWW cannot confirm them independently and does not support claims or opinions being made online