'AITA for bringing up my mother’s involvement in my disordered eating issues?'

Weight struggles can begin at any age, and for some, they start earlier than expected. A 17-year-old girl recently shared her experience growing up with a mother who struggled with her own weight. Her mother's comments about the teen's eating habits left her feeling embarrassed and humiliated on multiple occasions. 

As a result, the girl developed body dysmorphia and started restricting her food intake. Now, she’s questioning whether she’s in the wrong for linking her mother's remarks to her struggles with disordered eating.

Teenager struggles with disordered eating issues after mother restricts her eating habits

In a post on Reddit's 'Am I The A*****e' (AITA) forum titled, "AITAH for bringing up my mom’s involvement in my disordered eating issues?" a 17-year-old girl, going by the user name Mermarid88, shared her experience with disordered eating, tracing it back to her mother's remarks. 

She began by describing her upbringing, saying, "I, 17F, have a big mom. She’s been heavy all my life. Growing up, she didn’t want me to 'end up like her'. I was skinny, but at age 12, I started gaining a little weight (5'3 and about 125 lbs). Not fat, just bigger."

She then discussed her eating habits, noting, "I eat a lot. Always have, but my genes are decent so it doesn’t really show at all. The issue started around ages 11-12. My mom started making remarks about my eating. I remember 2 times specifically."

She recalled two specific incidents. One took place at a restaurant. She narrated, "I ordered a small pasta and mashed potatoes on the side. She said 'Eating all those carbs, you’re gonna end up like me'. I felt embarrassed the rest of the night." 

She then shared about another instance, "Another time I remember eating at home. I had asked to get seconds. Eating my seconds, my brother asked if I’d eat his leftovers because he didn’t feel like finishing. I took his and she yelled at me about “not needing any more.” I cried, not because I really did need more food but because I felt humiliated."

The post continued with the description of her body dysphoria diagnosis, "Fast forward to age 14. I developed bad body dysphoria. I’m not going to say I’m anorexic because I have no diagnosis, but I had just about every trait of anorexia. I lost 30 lbs I’m about 4 months. I counted every calorie. I weighed myself multiple times a day. I limited myself to about 800-1000 calories a day. All of it in fear I’d end up like my mother."

The girl concluded by explaining her mother's dismissive response whenever she brought up the impact of those remarks. 

"Now, anytime I mention her remarks, she talks as though I’m dramatizing it. She tells me “you only like to remember the bad. I just tried looking out for you.” It feels so invalidating knowing her remarks really did hurt me and add to my disordered eating. She makes me feel like I’m the one in the wrong. I get her intent but the execution sucked." she concluded.

Internet backs teenager and slams the mother's comments on her eating habits

Upon learning about the teenager's struggles with eating issues, people criticized the mother for repeatedly humiliating and embarrassing her daughter in several instances.

One user wrote, “NTA Your mom's comments, while likely well-intentioned, were deeply harmful and contributed to your disordered eating.”

A Redditor shared, “Please go talk to a school counselor. You are underweight for your height. This can damage your body as you are growing. You are NTA.”

One user shared their personal experience, “NTA. People don’t like to be told they hurt someone, especially when it was because of their own insecurities. My sister got PI**ED when I told her about her involvement in my disordered eating… but her comments about my body and eating habits stopped anyways.”

A user claimed, “My mom said a lot of sgit like this to me and really screwed eith my brain too. I love my mom. I eventually had to realize this was a GER issue. She was insecure and had issues with food and it leaked out on me. She didn't want that, but it happened. I forgave her for it and now just roll my eyes. But it really did hurt that she never really got how messed up it all was.”

Someone else assured, “Okay but like, that's textbook diet culture trauma. Your feelings are so valid, she messed up big time.”

This article contains remarks made on the internet by individual people and organizations. MEAWW cannot confirm them independently and does not support claims or opinions being made online.