‘AITA for calling the cops on my husband after our huge fight where he trashed the house?’

In a recent post on Reddit's "Am I the A**hole" subreddit, a 40-year-old woman, who goes by the username According_Grape5790, shared a troubling story of a heated argument with her husband that escalated to the point where she called the police.

According to the post, the situation began when tensions over housework reached a breaking point. What followed was a destructive outburst by her husband, leaving the house in chaos and prompting her to call for help.

Woman calls police after husband's outburst

“My husband (44M) and I (40F) have been arguing a lot lately over housework,” the woman began her post, explaining the backstory. She described how things spiraled out of control during this particular argument.

Her husband allegedly started by throwing her clothes around the house, even pulling dishes and cutlery from the kitchen and hurling them on the floor. The situation worsened when he encouraged their children to watch his outburst.

After he left for a brief walk to “calm down” and returned to continue his destructive behavior by throwing his own clothes and the laundry basket around, the woman said she felt frightened and scared. “By this stage I was crying and shaking and scared,” she admitted.

Fearing for her safety and the wellbeing of her children, she called the police.

"He stopped when I called police and I told them not to come but they did anyway," the OP wrote. And when the police arrived, the situation took an unexpected turn.

When questioned, her husband allegedly threw the items on the floor again in front of the officers.

“When they questioned him, he said I’ll show you exactly what I did and threw all the clothes and dishes all over the floor again in front of police and told them I needed to clean it up," she said.

The police asked the husband to pack his stuff and leave the house. But in a bizarre and erratic move, he proceeded to undress and shower with the door open. As the authorities waited for him to finish, the man blasted offensive music when he got into his car and drove away.

The woman admitted that this behavior seemed “really erratic” and out of character for her husband, who typically struggled with impulsivity due to ADHD. She also mentioned speaking to a friend who was going through a divorce due to her husband’s bipolar disorder, and the friend noted “some similarities".

This led the woman to question whether mental illness could be at play.

Her husband, however, was furious over her decision to call the police. He insisted that he was a “peaceful person who would never be violent” and blamed her for the fallout.

The husband even told their children that it was all her fault and she overreacted by calling the cops over a “non-violent” situation.

This has caused tension in the family, with the eldest daughter (16) siding with her father and accusing the mother of overreacting.

Internet says OP 'did the right thing'

The Reddit community largely supported the OP, with many users expressing sympathy for her difficult situation. They acknowledged that while her husband's behavior was not physically violent, it was still alarming and disruptive, especially given the emotional and psychological toll it took on the OP.

A user said, "NTA but wtf the cops didn’t arrest him and let him take a shower? And leave on his own? He should have been arrested immediately when he started that tantrum again in front of the police! I mean, a woman was shot for less than this!"

Another added, "Yup - he's using triangulation. It's a manipulation tactics aimed at getting others to side with him against her. He's probably been building this up for ages without her seeing it. NTA."

A person remarked, "My goodness, NTA!! My “mother” used to do this all the time, then it turned to physical violence towards us. She would terrorize us. It got so bad that I’d flinch any time she moved, out of fear she’d randomly hit me, which she did often. She became so unpredictable, aggressive, and violent."

"Coming from an abusive household, you did the right thing. Now comes the hard part of not letting him come back and repeat the pattern," said one supporting the OP.

A person said, "NTA and you definitely handled this correctly. Throwing dishes is violence. You need to sit your daughter down and explain that this violence. I think you and your kids need therapy."

Another chimed in, "How many blows does he think you should let him get in, before he is officially violent and you can call the cops? NTA."

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