'AITA for canceling our honeymoon after my fiancee spent $10K on her wedding dress?'

A groom-to-be recently took to Reddit's popular "Am I the A**hole" (AITA) forum to seek advice regarding a move that has left his fiancee as well as her friends and family angry. 

In the post titled, "AITA for canceling our honeymoon after my fiancee spent $10,000 on her wedding dress?", user DigSpecialist5111 shared how he immediately canceled their honeymoon trip after he came to know that his fiancee had shelled out $10,000 on her wedding dress despite their tight budget. 

Groom-to-be got furious on finding out that his fiancee spent $10,000 on a dress she was going to wear once

The original poster (OP) began his post by explaining that he and his fiancee had planned for a modest wedding.

"My fiancee and I are planning to get married late this year. We had a small, rough budget for our wedding. It's a small wedding, only about 30 guests, and hosted on a family friend's property. We've been making the decorations ourselves, doing online RSVPs, ordering our wedding cake from Costco," he wrote. 

Despite their efforts to cut costs, the couple had agreed on an extravagant honeymoon as a reward for their frugality. The groom-to-be had entrusted his fiancee to choose her wedding dress, assuming she would stick to the budget.

"As a trade off my fiancee and I would be going on a very expensive honeymoon. I left my fiancee to buy her wedding dress because I thought she would be mature enough to stay within our budget," he wrote. 

However, his trust was shattered when he discovered she had spent $10,000 on a custom wedding dress.

"I found out that she spent $10,000 on a dress she will wear once. She argued that it was her dream wedding dress and she had compromised on having an ugly wedding for me. I had no idea she felt that way because she never expressed it. She says she can afford the dress. But we can't afford the dress. We don't even have a house yet," the OP wrote. 

The OP took action by canceling the couple's honeymoon. "We can't afford both the dress and the honeymoon trip and I'm pretty sure the dress was custom-made and can't be returned. I immediately canceled our honeymoon trip. It was booked through an agency and we had insurance so we only lost out on $250 each. If we had waited any longer, it would have been a lot more pricey to cancel," he mentioned. 

When his fiancee found out that he had canceled the honeymoon, she was furious and accused the OP of acting unilaterally.

"She said I had no right to cancel the honeymoon and if I didn't fix it she would go on the honeymoon alone. The entire wedding party has weighed in and her friends are hammering me mercilessly about it. Even her dad is mad at me. My friends and family are on my side," the groom-to-be wrote, asking fellow Redditors, "AITA?"

Redditors advise the groom-to-be to pause the wedding

The groom-to-be's post garnered over 11,000 upvotes and 5,800 comments, with many suggesting that he should reconsider the wedding. 

One wrote, "Sounds like you need to postpone this wedding. She did this knowing you were going to be upset about it. You guys have stuff to work out. NTA."

Another wrote, "ESH, but I kinda have the feeling you're not going to have to worry about either the wedding or the honeymoon. You two are not on the same page about finances and are making unilateral decisions without talking to each other. That's not a good start, is it?" 

"OP maybe you guys should pause on the wedding. There is a significant dispute on finances - 10,000 is a lot especially if you're trying to save money. ESH. You guys need to get on the same page re finances - clearly she's willing to spend much more than you. You really need to get aligned on finances," a comment read. 

"Everyone sucks here?? Really how? How do you compare a 10k dress and what he did even close? NTA," one more declared. 

"NTA . You can't afford this honeymoon anymore since the money is gone in the dress. Your fiancée didn't respect the rules you established. If she absolutely wanted a fancy dress, she should have talked to you about it instead of making decisions on her own. She's either selfish or financially irresponsible," another Redditor said.

"I mean, you just found out how financially incompatible you are. You need to stop thinking about the honeymoon and start thinking about the marriage. There's also some serious 'better to ask forgiveness than permission' vibes going on here. She could have spoken about the dress in advance, but figured if she just bought it you'd have no choice but to accept it. That's a pretty major red flag," one more pointed out. 

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