‘AITA for cutting off my father after finding out he had remarried through a TikTok video?’

A Redditor was left devastated after she came to know about her father’s remarriage only when the video appeared on her ‘For You’ page on TikTok. 

A 25-year-old heartbroken daughter recently took to Reddit's 'Am I the A**hole' forum to open up about the shock she got after coming to know about her father's remarriage accidentally. 

Sharing that she has distanced herself from him following a list of incidents, she asked her fellow Redditors, “AITA for not talking to my dad after finding out he got remarried through a TikTok video?”

Redditor shares she came to know about father’s remarriage from TikTok

The Redditor - a 25-year-old female - shared that she “stopped talking” to her father after “discovering he got remarried when a video from his wedding showed up” on her TikTok ‘For You’ page.

She gave a background of her parents’ marriage saying that though they were married for 22 years, she witnessed them “argue frequently” during her growing-up years, and admitted that her family “wasn’t perfect".

Nevertheless, she moved out at 17 and did not get the full picture. She admitted, “In the last few years of their marriage, things seemed fine, or at least that’s how it appeared to me.”

However, when she went away to London to pursue her masters in 2020, her parents’ relationship deteriorated, and they divorced in 2021. 

“In 2020, I moved to London to pursue my master’s degree,” shared the author, before adding, “A year later, my mum called me in tears to tell me that she and my dad were getting divorced.”

“She said he had packed his bags and left,” continued the author before sharing her helplessness in the situation, “I was thousands of kilometers away at the time, but as soon as I heard the news, I booked the next available flight to be with her.”

She noted her interaction with her father, writing, “Before flying home, I called my dad. Honestly, I don’t even remember what I said. I was crying, yelling, and asking how he could do this to us. I don’t recall much of his response, but it was not a good conversation.”

She revealed that her mother later told her that her father “had taken $30,000 in cash” that was meant for her wedding and her long-term visa in the UK.

“I was furious but decided to call him for clarification,” the OP continued, and added, “I explained that I needed just $3,000 of that money for my graduate visa so I could stay in the UK and work.”

However, her father’s reaction shocked her. “To my shock he shouted down the phone, telling me to “get a f***ing job". I was stunned," the OP wrote.

She continued, “I tried to explain that I was freshly graduated and actively looking for work, but he refused to help. He even claimed he’d been “generous” by leaving my mum the family house, which is a lie, as the apartment had been gifted to her by my grandmother before they got married. That was our last conversation.”

After that, she went complete no-contact with her father, and her parents’ divorce was finalized in January 2022. 

However, a few months after that, when she was scrolling through TikTok, “a video from my dad’s wedding popped up on my For You page".

"I was floored. I debated whether to tell my mum but eventually decided to send her the video,” she wrote about her musings, before elaborating, “She was understandably hurt and disappointed, but also relieved to have made the right choice in divorcing him.”

The mother and daughter duo also conjectured that the man was probably “cheating” on his wife for some time. “It just didn’t make sense for him to leave so suddenly unless he already had someone waiting for him,” wrote the OP. 

“Although we’ve been no-contact since 2021, he randomly sent me “happy birthday” messages in 2022 and 2023,” added the author while accepting, “I replied, but it felt awkward.”

However, she shared, “He didn’t message me at all in 2024, and I can’t decide if I’m more upset about that or indifferent."

“So, am I the a**hole for cutting off my dad?” she concluded.

Internet declares OP to be 'NTA' and asks her to go 'no contact' with father

Reddit users unanimously sided with the author and declared her "NTA", while also explaining to her that it was not her, but her father who burned the bridges. 

One user said, "NTA. But to be true...your dad already cut you out of his life, I am sorry."

"Nope. Your dad has shown you who he is. Focus on your and your mom's well being. Calling it that within a few years, he's going to be freshly divorced again and looking to you and your mom to "fix" things, something that at that point is completely self serving on his part. Stay no contact; it's in you and your mom's best interests," penned another understanding social media user. 

Someone else explained the motives behind the author's father's deeds, saying, "He needed your money for his new family since you, in his view, was flown out of the nest. Bet he was waiting for you to move before leaving for his mistress. Bet he thinks he did good bc of that."

"Him taking the $30,000, claiming to “give mum the house”, and screaming at you to “get a job” are all the bridges you need to know are burned. He has thrown you away - he cares nothing for you. Don’t even answer his minimal “happy birthday” wishes. Someday he may need you and reach out. Don’t fall for it," cautioned a fellow netizen.

Another user advised, "NTA. Next time he asks you for money, tell him to get a Fing job. And tell him you had been generous giving him that 30k he took when he divorced."

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