‘AITA for embarrassing my fiance during dinner with friends after he mocked my culture?’

A 28-year-old woman named Andrea sought advice from other Reddit users after she was shocked by her fiance’s insensitive remark about her heritage during a dinner with friends. Taking to the social media platform’s "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) forum, the woman wrote that she’s actually from Colombia but has "been living in the US for about 10 years."

In the post titled "AITA for embarrassing my fiancé at dinner after he “joked” about my upbringing?", the original poster (OP), shared, “My fiancé, ‘David’ (30M), and I have been together for three years, engaged for six months, and until now, I thought we were on the same page about respecting each other’s backgrounds.”

Woman says she’s ‘proud’ of her background

The Redditor, who goes with the username Nines21, continued, “For context, I grew up in a small town in Colombia, and while we didn’t have much money, my parents worked tirelessly to provide for my siblings and me. I’m incredibly proud of where I come from—it shaped me into the strong, resourceful person I am today.”

Andrea shared that sometime back, she and David had dinner with some of his friends whom she has “met a handful of times, and while they’ve always been polite, I’ve sometimes felt out of place because of the subtle comments they make about my accent or my ‘exotic’ background.”

OP claims her fiance David made a bad joke about her heritage

The OP said that while they were having their food, a friend of her fiance revealed that he went on a Europe trip recently and had “authentic experiences.”

“Out of nowhere, David chimed in with: ‘Well, Andrea doesn’t need to travel for ‘authentic’ experiences—she grew up eating off banana leaves in the jungle, right babe?’” she wrote.

She noted that David’s statement made everyone laugh out loud except her. “Not only was his comment wildly inaccurate (and frankly ignorant), but it was also deeply humiliating,” she stated.

The woman then said that she maintained her cool and told her fiance, “Actually, David, I grew up in a small town—not the jungle—and while we didn’t eat off banana leaves, we did learn how to respect people’s cultures, which you seem to have missed.”

After her response, “the vibe for the rest of the evening was noticeably tense,” according to the OP.

Woman was rebuked by her fiance David 

The OP further said that after getting home, “David was furious. He said I embarrassed him in front of his friends and that I ‘blew a harmless joke way out of proportion.’”

In her defense, the woman told him that “his comment wasn’t harmless—it was condescending and made me feel like I was the butt of a joke in front of people who already saw me as different.”

But since then she’s been accused of being “too sensitive”.

The woman claimed, “I feel like I stood up for myself in a respectful way, but now I’m questioning if I should’ve handled it differently,” before asking others, “So, Reddit, AITA for calling out my fiance at dinner?”

Redditors back OP and advise her to dump her fiance David

Fellow Redditors supported the woman and asked her to break off her engagement with David. 

“No, you're NTA because you just stood up for yourself. Also, you might want to consider your engagement with David," a social media user advised.

Another Reddit user commented, “NTA. And you may have got a glimpse of how he really feels about people from other countries.”

One person shared, “NTA You aren't too sensitive, he is too insensitive.”

“NTA. It wasn’t a ‘harmless joke’, it was a racist joke,” another remarked.

“NTA you actually gave a really mature and reasoned answer, he humiliated himself and is lucky you didn’t actually snap,” an individual stated.

Another declared, “This is what he actually thinks about you and how he believes his friends will also think about you so he wanted to get ahead of what he believes his friends will say. So now you know. NTA.”

One comment read, “NTA. And that ‘joke’ was racist ethnocentrism at its finest. I don’t know you my dear but I know you can find a better partner. Dump David.”

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