‘AITA for exposing my sister’s secret pregnancy plan to her clueless husband and ruining their marriage?’

A 33-year-old woman has turned to the AITA Reddit forum, seeking advice after a confrontation with her younger sister, Emily, led to a potential breakdown of Emily’s marriage.

The woman, who goes by the username Emotional-Yak-2865, explained that she comes from a family of three sisters, with 27-year-old Emily, being the youngest.

Emily secretly tries to get pregnant against her husband’s wishes

Emily had previously told the family that she and her husband, Toby, 30, were not planning to have children, which the OP believed was a mutual decision.

However, during a girls’ night out, Emily confided in her older sister, revealing that despite Toby's refusal to have children due to his childhood experiences, Emily had always wanted to be a mother.

Emily confessed that she had secretly got her IUD removed and they were using condoms.

"I was shocked to hear that she was taking these used condoms to try and get pregnant in secret," the OP wrote. Toby, meanwhile, was completely unaware of Emily's intentions.

"I was completely taken aback, and told my sister that what she is doing is the female version of men poking holes in condoms," the OP said.

Despite her concern, Emily laughed it off, telling her sister that Toby was great with other children and she was confident he would be a great father.

The following day, the OP confided in her husband, who was equally disturbed by the revelation. They both agreed that Emily needed to stop, and the OP called Emily to express her concerns.

"I called Emily and said that I was freaked out about she told me and wanted her to promise that she would stop trying to get pregnant without Toby’s consent," she said.

Emily reacted defensively, claiming her sister didn’t understand the situation because she had a supportive husband who wanted children.

"She said she made a mistake bringing it up to me and that I needed to drop the subject because it’s her life," wrote the OP.

OP exposes Emily's secret pregnancy plan to her husband

Unable to shake the feeling that something was wrong, the OP decided to contact Toby behind Emily’s back. "I reached out to her husband behind her back and asked to grab coffee. I tried to keep it vague that he should talk to her more about her idea on kids because I didn’t think she was being honest with him," she wrote.

She initially tried to hint that he should talk to Emily about their differing views on children, but eventually told him outright that Emily was trying to get pregnant secretly.

The OP added, "We did some back and forth but he still wasn’t getting it. I finally spilled the beans that I think she’s trying to get pregnant and he kept pressing on how/what I knew. Once the condom thing came out, he looked sick and quickly excused himself."

Emily, upon hearing that the OP had told Toby everything, erupted in anger, accusing her sister of ruining her marriage. She even claimed that her sister was jealous of her career and trying to sabotage her relationship to be the only one with children.

"She was hysterical on how I ruined her marriage and that Toby was threw out the word “divorce” during their fight," the 33-year-old OP said.

She added, "She screamed that I’m jealous of her focus on her career, and wanted to be the only one with kids because my whole personality is being a good-for-nothing stay at home mom, and it’s the only thing I’ve ever achieved."

The woman’s family quickly sided with Emily, and the OP was uninvited from the family’s Christmas celebration. Her mother, who serves as the matriarch of the family, stated that while Emily’s actions weren’t ideal, what the OP had done was “not my place” and “unforgivable".

 "I really wasn’t trying to ruin her marriage but it feels like my whole family has blown up. I feel like I’ve made a terrible mistake, do you think I was wrong?" the OP asked the Reddit community.

Redditors back OP for exposing sister’s secret pregnancy plan

When the woman turned to Reddit for advice on whether she was wrong for sharing Emily's secret pregnancy plan with Toby, users quickly expressed support.

A user wrote, "NTA. And you may want to wonder if your mother gave her ideas…."

Another added, "Your sister's actions were manipulative and selfish. You were trying to protect both her and her husband from a situation that could have caused far more harm in the future. Don't let her guilt-trip you into thinking you were wrong. You acted with honesty and care, and your family’s reaction shouldn’t change that. NTA."

The third commentator remarked, "I’m sick that the family thinks it’s okay with what the sister was doing."

"I agree. What your sister did was a serious violation, and you did the right thing by stepping in. don't let anyone make you feel bad for protecting your BIL from that. NTA," wrote one in support.

A person said, "Even if she had succeeded, why is she so deluded that her husband would bond with the child? What if he failed as a father or even left her because of it? She really wasn’t thinking this through and was driven by her selfish desire for children. It’s likely the marriage would’ve failed anyway but regardless, you did the right thing."

Another chimed in, "NTA. This is abuse. If the roles were reversed and he was secretly tampering with her birth control, you'd say something- no questions asked. You did the right thing."

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