'AITA for getting upset with my boyfriend for discarding my father and grandfather's baseball cards?'

A 41-year-old woman took to Reddit's popular "Am I the A**hole" (AITA) forum to seek advice regarding a tense situation with her boyfriend, "Dan" (39M), who discarded her father and grandfather's baseball cards that they had collected "together for decades."

The original poster (OP), shared that she became enraged after learning that her boyfriend Dan donated most of the baseball cards to charity because it was "just junk taking up space" and enquired whether or not she was being an a**hole for being upset, as per Someecards.

Woman describes her sentimental connection to her father and grandfather's baseball card collection

In the Reddit post, titled, "AITA for being furious at my boyfriend for throwing out my dad and grandfather’s baseball card collection?" the OP shared that she and her boyfriend, Dan, have been dating for about a year, and decided to move in together earlier this year.

The woman explained that she owned the house and Dan moved into her place. She noted that Dan has "been really insistent on 'decluttering' and has always talked about how he hates 'useless junk.'"

Describing her father and grandfather's baseball cards collection, the OP wrote, "For some context, my dad and grandfather collected baseball cards together for decades. When my grandfather passed in 2020 due to cancer, he left his collection to my dad."

The OP expressed that she and her father "bonded over this collection when I was little." "He’d tell me stories about the players, the games he and grandpa watched, and how they spent weekends going to card shows," she added.

She went on to describe how the baseball cards "became one of my most cherished possessions" after her father died two months ago. "I kept them neatly organized in binders and boxes on a shelf in a spare room," the OP noted.

Woman's boyfriend said she was overreacting with him for discarding the baseball cards

The OP shared how she discovered the baseball cards collection was gone. "Last week, I was out of town for a work trip. When I came home, I noticed the room where I keep the collection looked suspiciously empty," she recounted.

When she questioned Dan where the cards were, he casually replied that he "took care of it" and disposed of the boxes. "I was floored," the OP exclaimed.

The boyfriend said that he gave most of it to a charity because it was "just junk taking up space" and nobody needed so many baseball cards. 

Freaked out, the OP told him that "those cards were incredibly sentimental—they weren’t just some clutter, they were a legacy of my family."

According to her, Dan became defensive and accused me of being "materialistic" and "overreacting." He said that the OP "never even looked at" the collection and that he wanted to assist her to live a more simple, orderly existence.

Distressed, the OP told Dan that "he had no right to throw out something so important to me, let alone without asking."

When she verified with the donation facility, they acknowledged that boxes of baseball cards had been dropped off, but they had already sold the majority of them.

"I feel sick knowing they’re gone. Now Dan is saying I’m blowing this out of proportion and 'choosing stuff over our relationship,'" the OP further shared. 

Dan went as far as to accuse the OP of being "selfish," saying he was trying to do something good for them. "I can’t shake the anger and heartbreak. It feels like such a betrayal," the woman expressed. 

Since then, they have hardly spoken, and Dan has been whining about her making him feel like a monster.

Seeking advice, the OP concluded, "I honestly don’t know what to do. AITA for being so upset? Should I just let this go because he thought he was helping?"

Redditors say if OP's boyfriend wanted to help he would have asked before discarding cards

The Reddit community stood in support of the woman, empathizing with the emotional distress she had dealt with upon losing the baseball cards.

One wrote, "NTA. Today it was the baseball card binders. Tomorrow it could be YOUR house he's taking from you. Call Waste Management or 1-800-GOT-JUNK, and have him and his possessions removed."

"Totally NTA-I am sooo sorry-I know how certain things are sentimental because they belonged to people you care about and loved. You don't have to sit there and look through those binders all the time to show you value it. Just having them there shows that you valued them. Listen to bad romace novelist. Ding Ding Ding. Right on point. Please safely exit this relationship," added another. 

"NTA. Your boyfriend -stole from you. Let's be clear: He. Stole. From. You. He STOLE memorabilia from you, reminders of your father and grandfather, that you will NEVER get back. They're gone forever due to this guy," read another comment. 

"He did this on purpose, which is why he said, 'No one needs that many baseball cards.' He never even thought about how you would feel, only focused on what he wanted," one more remarked. 

An individual expressed, "NTA. If he genuinely wanted to help he would have asked you before he threw them out. The fact that he felt entitled to interfere with your property, and that he has not apologized, and is trying to minimize the impact on you of his actions, and to blame you for your (entirely reasonable and appropriate distress) are all major concerns."

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