'AITA for ignoring my wife after she threw away videotapes my late wife had made for our daughter?'

When memories are all that's left of a loved one, they become priceless.

For one Reddit user, those memories were captured in a box of cherished videotapes that held moments of his late wife Cloe, and their daughter Eleanore. However, tragically, those memories were taken from him in a moment of jealousy and insecurity.

In a heart-wrenching post, the man shared his story, asking fellow Redditors on the "AITAH" forum, "AITA for ignoring my wife for throwing away my late wife video tapes?"

A father's heartfelt plan for his daughter's 18th birthday

The original poster (OP) began, "I am writing this because I don’t know what to do. I have a daughter with my late wife and her name is Eleanore. Her birthday is coming up in 2 weeks and she’s turning 18." 

Giving a background, he wrote, "Me and my late wife, Cloe has been dating since college. We got older and ended up getting married, and after our wedding, she shared news to me that she was pregnant and I was excited that we were expecting our first child. Since it was our first child we bought a video camera and made little tapes and snippets of her whole pregnancy... wholesome things such as us just joking around or having lunch, or talking to our unborn child through the camera. We made a promise to only show Eleanore the tapes until her 18th birthday."

However, two years after Eleanore's birth, Cloe was tragically killed when a drunk driver crashed into her car while she was driving home from her mother’s house.

"I was devastated of her passing and went into a deep depression and having to raise our two-year-old daughter by myself," the OP recalled. 

Despite his friends encouraging him to move on, the grief lingered. "My friends tried to get me to go out again and start back dating, but every time I did I felt like I was betraying her," he shared. 

OP's current wife has been jealous of his late wife

Years later, when Eleanore was 13, Wendy entered his life. "We met at a gathering for my sister’s birthday and we instantly hit it off," the man wrote. 

Wendy seemed to embrace his past, as he mentioned, "She didn’t mind that I had a daughter because she had two kids herself and just went through a divorce."

Two years after they tied the knot, the countdown to Eleanore’s 18th birthday began, and he looked forward to sharing the treasured videos. "Mind you her mother died when she was just two, so Eleanore doesn’t remember her touch or her voice. I was excited to show her the tapes," the OP wrote. 

But Wendy's uneasiness was evident. "A week ago I was talking to Wendy about it and I noticed her expression going from happy to looking a bit uncomfortable. Wendy would always get uncomfortable when I talk about my late wife... Wendy has always talked to me about Cloe and how it made her sad that 'She can never be like her,'" he explained.

Despite her insecurities, he reassured her that he loved her "just the way she was."

The next morning, Wendy apologized. "She came up to me and apologized for the way she acted last night. I told her it was okay and it’s good that she felt comfortable to share her feelings, and I gave her a tight hug and a kiss on her forehead," the OP shared. 

But that brief moment of peace was short-lived. Wendy asked to see the tapes, and trusting her, he showed her the precious box of memories.

OP's current wife decides to throw away the tapes right before his daughter's 18th birthday

The following day, everything unraveled. "I was looking for the tapes because I wanted to put them in a prettier box for my daughter... the box wasn’t in my closet. I looked everywhere to the point I walked downstairs to see my wife laying on the couch watching tv," the OP recounted. 

Confused, he confronted Wendy. "I asked her about the box and she told me she threw it away with a neutral expression. My heart dropped and I asked her what did she mean, and she told me that I talk about her too much and that I need to move on with my life so she threw them away as a 'head start,'" he wrote. 

The pain was overwhelming. "I was fuming with anger because not only she threw away what I had left of her, she threw away my daughter’s big surprise," the OP shared. "We quickly got into an argument and she noticed how angry I was so she started apologizing. It got to the point I started crying and locked myself in our bedroom."

OP was devastated by the spiteful act

"It’s the morning and I’m writing this in my office going through my computer finding old files or any type of video of my late wife to give it to my daughter because sometimes my daughter still cries that she never got to 'meet' her mother and I really thought it would bring her closer to her," the OP further expressed. 

About the current situation, he shared, "I’ve been ignoring my wife for the past day and she’s been texting me nonstop about how sorry she is but I really just can’t look at her right now." 

To make matters worse their mutual friends have been texting him "to accept her apology and get over it since Cloe died over 10 years ago."

But to this grieving father, time doesn’t erase love — or memories. "I’m trying to ignore them all because they never had someone so close to them die," the man shared. 

He wrote that he was desperately trying to find some digital files of Cloe to salvage what he could for Eleanore, and while doing so he thought he might be "overreacting."

"I don't know what to do and I really need help," he wrote, concluding the post. 

Redditors think OP should divorce his wife because of her spiteful action

The Internet, however, was clear in its stance, rallying behind the grieving father, and condemning Wendy’s actions as cruel and unforgivable. 

One Reddit user said, "NTA. But your new wife is. To act sorry about throwing a tantrum, then using your sympathy/empathy to show her the videos just so she can throw them away out of spite? Especially knowing your plans for them with your daughter? Shed be my exwife real soon if I were in your shoes."

Another added, "NTA Wtf. I'm a widow and I'm going to be completely blunt here...I could not share my life with someone so heinous as to throw something so precious and irreplaceable. This. Is. Unforgivable. I'd pack my s**t, call a lawyer and only communicate through the lawyer. Anyone saying your wrong can f**k right off."

Someone else noted, "These tapes would have been cherished for the rest of her life. I’m sorry but I don’t think I’d be able to move on from this. She needs to go to the dump and find them."

"This was so evil, I never tell people go for divorce, but this woman is making my blood boil, her action is pure evil, she robbed the one gift your daughter has from her mother. This woman has no heart. NONE. This is unforgivable. I will never ever forgive a person for that. Edit: the most evil part is she used your vulnerability to ask you where the tapes are, SO SHE CAN THROW THEM AWAY!!!! She planned this. She is f**king EVIL!!" another comment read. 

One more declared, "God I hope this is fake because if not that woman is a f**king monster. Divorce her immediately."

"This is divorce territory. she did something that cannot be fixed or remedied. Unless she goes dumpster diving," one more wrote, while another person offered, "Get a divorce ! She not only did she throw away your memories, she threw away your daughters only chance of seeing her mother again , she’s a heartless women and she does care about you."

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