'AITA for informing my cheating wife I’m divorcing her a day before our daughter’s graduation?'

A man sparked outrage on Reddit after he admitted that he told his wife he was divorcing her a day before their daughter’s high school graduation.

Posting to Reddit’s infamous "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) forum, the original poster (OP) laid it all out in a post titled “AITA for telling my wife the day before our daughter’s graduation that I'll be divorcing her?”

Daughter heartbroken over parents' divorce amid graduation

In his post, the OP explained that he and his wife had been married for two decades and shared an 18-year-old daughter. But things haven’t been picture-perfect. Six years ago, he discovered his wife had been cheating on him. The affair — which lasted a few months — nearly broke their marriage, but the OP decided to stick it out for the sake of their daughter and their family.

“My wife was really remorseful,” he wrote. “She quit her job, started going to therapy, and promised all the reconciliation steps I asked for. Ultimately, I did decide to stay with my wife for her sake and for our family’s sake too.”

And for a while, it worked. According to the OP, the next five years were blissful. "For around 5 years, everything was actually going great, and we had date nights, romantic vacations, and we really loved each other," he wrote.

But then, the resentment came creeping back. "However, on the 6th year, the whole thing resurfaced back on my mind, and I just couldn’t get my mind off it," he wrote. "I finally made my decision after a particular line from my sister struck a chord with me."

"She said would you really want to use the gift of life and spend it with someone who had betrayed you so badly? She told me this a couple of days before my daughter’s graduation and that’s when I finally decided I couldn’t do it anymore."

The conversation took place just days before his daughter’s graduation, and it was the final straw for the OP. On the day before the big event, he dropped the bombshell. "A day before my daughter’s graduation, I informed my wife of my decision and told her that I would be filing for divorce soon," he said.

Unsurprisingly, his wife was devastated. "My wife was shocked, and she cried a lot and told me she would do anything but I told her that my decision was final. My daughter’s graduation in itself was great, and I was really proud of my daughter. And my wife seemed happy too, but my daughter could sense something was wrong and asked me why her mom seemed down and trying to fake a smile. I told her not to worry about it and to just enjoy the day."

But the next day, he told her the truth. He was divorcing her mother. The OP’s daughter was not having it. “My daughter seemed shocked. She said how I could do this to her mom before graduation and that’s why her mom couldn’t enjoy the graduation. I told her it’s none of her business, but we’ll both always love her regardless."

"My wife and I are now going through divorce proceedings. AITA?" the OP asked.

Reddit slams OP for dropping the bombshell right before daughter's graduation

If OP was hoping for some validation, Reddit handed him the exact opposite. The commenters called him out, especially for his terrible timing.

"So you waited six years already but you just HAD to tell her on that day? YTA. It's totally reasonable to want to divorce your wife for being unfaithful but you picked the worst day possible to do it. Do you hate your daughter or something?" one Redditor asked.

"Definitely YTA. If you really thought it was none of your daughter's business, you should have waited until after graduation. You ruined your daughter's graduation and any joy your wife might have had at the event. You have every right to want a divorce, but you could have waited to talk about it until after graduation," another said.

"YTA. You could have waited a couple of days. This isn’t as though you found out the day before and had an emotional reaction, you’d had six years to reflect on it and come to this conclusion, you should have realised it would have a negative impact on your daughter’s graduation," read one comment.

OP faces further backlash after sharing an update

The OP returned with an update four days later, but things weren’t looking much better. "My daughter called me last night and told me she came across the post I had posted, and after reading my comments, she asked how I could be so cruel to her mom," he wrote in the update.

"She then told me she was going to temporarily go low contact with me. I did tell her I know she’s going through a lot and I’ll always be there for her but I’ll respect her decision to go low contact. So that’s not really the best news but life does move on," he concluded.

Redditors, of course, weren’t about to let OP off the hook.

“Man, I just don’t understand how this dumpster fire keeps burning,” one person commented. 

"This is Exhibit A in how not to handle this situation. You successfully made your cheating wife the victim and gave your daughter every reason to hate you," someone else offered.

"Sounds like you didn't f**king learn the first time you asked. YTA then and now. It wasn't the fact that you wanted a divorce, it's the fact that you purposely timed it to maximize the damage and made it all about you. You ruined your daughter's special day because you had to be a petty, vindictive prick," another declared.

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