'AITA for keeping my lifelong best friend as best man after he cheated on the maid of honor?'

The internet is buzzing after a groom refuses to drop his Best Man, who recently cheated on the Maid of Honor.

The original poster (OP) shared the situation on Reddit’s popular ‘Am I The A*****e’ forum, sparking intense debate with thousands of comments.

Man refuses to drop his cheating best friend as best man

In the Reddit post titled “AITA for wanting my best friend as my Best Man, even though he cheated on the Maid of Honor?” OP explains, "My best friend, FRIEND, I‘ve known since I was in diapers. We were neighbors throughout HS, went to college together, and shared an apartment our last year there. He’s been a brother our whole lives; we’re both an only child. We’ve talked about how we’ll be each other’s best man for as long as I can remember. I don’t really have any friends other than him, I’m not very social."

Two years ago, OP met his fiancee (FIANCE), and through their relationship, FRIEND ended up dating FIANCE’s best friend, MOH (Maid of Honor). OP and FIANCÉ initially worried that their friends dating might cause complications but ultimately supported the relationship.

"2 years ago I met the love of my life, FIANCÉ. 1 year into the relationship, FRIEND meets FIANCÉ’S best friend, MOH (Maid of Honor). FRIEND and MOH start dating. FIANCÉ and I both agreed that this might cause complications in our relationship if they have problems, but also acknowledged that we couldn’t really do anything about it. What were we gonna do, tell them they can’t date? They were great together, and MOH found him worth giving up “waiting until marriage.” A few months ago, I proposed, and we are set to be married in a little over a month. I asked FRIEND to be my best man. FIANCÉ asked MOH to be Maid of Honor."

Everything came crashing down two weeks ago when FRIEND got drunk on a night out and cheated on MOH. 

"2 weeks ago, FRIEND went out with some other friends, and ended up drunk and going home with a girl. He confessed this to me the next day, and he felt like absolute shit. I told him he’s gotta confess it to MOH. He f****d up and it’s only fair to her, and she’ll be a lot more understanding if he tells her himself. He agrees this is the right thing to do."

FRIEND admitted his mistake to MOH, and she was understandably devastated. She packed a bag and moved in with OP and FIANCÉ while she looked for a new place.

"MOH‘s livid (rightfully so). I come home from work and she‘s at my apartment. She packed a bag and asked FIANCÉ if she could stay with us to get out of her apartment. I’m fine with this; I can understand she’s going through a rough time. 1 week ago, MOH decided she can’t handle dating anymore, and they break up. She‘s staying with us until she can find another apartment," OP explains.

MOH and FRIEND broke up, but now OP’s fiancée is insisting that FRIEND should not even be invited to the wedding.

"FIANCÉ tells me that there’s no way MOH will be able to handle being at the wedding, especially walking down the aisle with FRIEND. I told her that they don’t need to walk down together, or do anything together, but I can’t tell him he can’t be my best man. It would devastate both of us, as well as leaving me without a best man. FIANCÉ tells me I shouldn’t even want to be friends with him anymore, and offers her brother as my best man. She put her foot down on him even being AT the wedding. She says that one of them can’t be there, and that it’s not fair for MOH to both get cheated on, and then ALSO not able to go to the wedding because we “chose” FRIEND over her."

OP disagrees. While he acknowledges that FRIEND’s actions were wrong, he doesn’t believe it’s fair to “turn on” a lifelong best friend for one mistake.

"FRIEND is already devastated that he f****d up his relationship. I hate cheaters, but you don’t just turn on your lifelong best friend because he f****d up. I understand that it is very challenging for MOH, but I also feel like since this is MY wedding, it should be determined by what me and FIANCÉ want, and that I shouldn’t go through my wedding without a best man because of MOH. I also don’t think that it should be a choice of one or the other, and that they should both come and be professional and avoid each other."

"AITA for standing by having him as my best man?" OP concluded the post.

Internet slams man for keeping cheating best friend as best man at wedding

One comment read, "This is the funniest thing to me about people who try to justify cheating with “but I swear he’s still a really good guy!” It is not difficult to keep your p***s in your pants it is in fact very easy."

Another user wrote, "Right?? That's not A mistake. That is a series of choices for which they chose the wrong option EVERY TIME. Also a fair bit of time passes between meeting someone and sleeping with them. So for like, an hour you're just completely ruining your relationship and giving zero shits?"

"YTA, Going against the grain, but yeah, your best friend screwed up big time and the MOH absolutely should not have to walk/dance/whatever with him.

That being said, I think there is still room for him to attend the wedding, and possibly even be a groomsman. However, look at this from your fiance's perspective. Your BEST FRIEND is a cheating bastard and you are basically defending him. She is very likely wondering if you are going to cheat. You and fiancee need to have a serious conversation about this and see if you can come up with a compromise."

Another commented, "Even the excuse of being too focused on the wedding feels off. Precisely, why would you want a cheater as best man in your wedding? Really bad choice to be up there while you exchange vows, makes it feel like a bad joke. "I'll be faithful to you... unless a few beers lead me to 'make a mistake'".

One last user wrote, "And the irony of having him stand up and celebrate your monogamous union with someone when he can’t even stay faithful himself."

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