‘AITA for kicking my in-laws out of the driveway after they lived in their car here for a month?’

A Reddit user, elyssiadiann, recently turned to the 'Am I the A**hole' (AITA) subreddit for advice on a challenging family situation. The OP recounted a series of events involving their mother-in-law (MIL) and brother-in-law (BIL), who had been living in their car during a snowstorm for over a month.

The situation quickly spiraled out of control, and the OP found themselves at a crossroads over whether they were in the wrong for kicking their in-laws out of the driveway.

OP offers temporary shelter to in-laws after snowstorm

It all started when a major snowstorm hit the area last month, and the OP learned that their MIL and BIL had been staying in their car. During the family Christmas dinner at a restaurant, the OP was shocked at the condition of their in-laws.

"What I saw was pitiful. They were both skin and bones," the OP shared. Feeling sad for their situation, the OP offered to let them stay in their driveway, suggesting they hook up a heater to their car until the storm passed. However, despite the storm clearing, the in-laws remained, causing strain on the OP's finances.

"We’re cooking every meal for them which has put us in a financial strain," the OP explained. The situation became more complicated as the OP revealed that the BIL struggled with drug addiction and could not hold on to any job because of it.

His behavior, including leaving a mess in the driveway and disturbing the neighbors by revving his car, added to the tension.

The MIL was "doing heavier drugs" since she started staying with her son and her mental health was on a decline, especially after she lost her husband two years ago. 

"She will talk about people stealing her name on Facebook and framing her to drag her to hell," the OP wrote, describing the MIL's increasingly erratic behavior.

The OP added, "My MIL is waiting on a “big check” and has been for a year but I fear that has already been spent on drugs."

The OP expressed concerns over their MIL’s mental health and suggested that she needed professional help, but was unsure how to proceed without damaging their relationship.

"I feel like we need to push them out so that forces them to get their life together," they said.

Despite these struggles, the OP’s husband, who feels responsible for his mother and brother after his father's death, was reluctant to set firm boundaries. The OP suggested offering their in-laws money to stay in a hotel for a week, but the husband disagreed.

The OP said, "My husband says I don’t have a big heart like him because I’ve never been homeless and he has."

Ultimately, after months of strain, the OP decided to kick their in-laws out of the driveway.

"I’m torn because my MIL needs to be in a mental hospital but she would never forgive us if we went that route," OP explained, adding, "AITA for kicking them out of here?"

Redditors advise OP to seek help from authorities

As soon as the OP's thread went viral, Redditors flooded the comment section, expressing their support and understanding of the tough situation.

A user said, "I'd go to the authorities and let them handle it. Before my neighbors did it for me. NTA"

Another added, "NTA. I would call 911 and have her assessed. I would also get in contact with Adult Protective Services as they can provide services to help your inlaws."

The third commentator remarked, "Having them living in a car in your driveway doesn't help them.  Point that out to your husband and hand him a list of local resources that can.  Shelters, outreach, food banks, transition housing, ect.  There's options for them. NTA "

"NTA. It's been said many times but don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm. There is literally nothing you can do to help drug addicts who do not want to be helped. Save yourself," said one.

A person said, "NTA. So is your husband waiting for you to get a hefty fine for you acting as slum lords and creating a public health hazard? What is his “end game” here?"

Another chimed in, "NTA. Their homelessness is self-inflicted by their drug use. Your MIL should be receiving social security survivors benefits since her husband passed, and they could get section 8 housing for low income, as well as food stamps. There's options other than your driveway."

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