‘AITA for kicking the mother of my surrogate baby out of the delivery room?’

A Redditor began doubting her behavior after her husband criticized her when a nurse asked the mother of her surrogate baby to vacate the room while the OP (original poster) was giving birth. 

Taking to the AITAH sub-section of Reddit, the OP asked, “AITAH for kicking the mother out of the delivery room?”

The author - a 34-year-old female - revealed that she shared two children - a 14-year-old and a three-year-old - with her husband (35).

However, problems arose when she agreed to become the surrogate for her brother-in-law and his wife as the couple could not conceive.

Reddit user shares predicament when she agreed to become a surrogate mother

Taking to Reddit, the author revealed, “A few months ago my BIL and his wife found out that they could not have kids so my BIL ask for me to be there surrogate I agreed because my BIL is family and we grew up together and he has always wanted kids.”

She added, “I made it clear to my husband at the start that I was only doing this for my BIL because his wife has always been rude and always trying to one up me and we did not have the best relationship.”

While everything went smoothly till the seventh month of her pregnancy, troubles arose when they “started talking about birth plans". She wrote that her brother-in-law’s wife “told me I would be giving birth in a nud!st community with no pain meds or anything and she said that it was part of her "religion".”

But the OP, her husband, and her brother-in-law quickly shut her down saying that they had decided to have a “hospital birth” in the presence of the family. 

Meanwhile, the author added that for the last two months of the pregnancy, the brother-in-law's wife "was sulking around crying saying that we do not respect her because she can not carry a child".

When the OP was in her ninth month, her brother-in-law called her saying “maybe I should consider having my baby in a nud!st colony because his wife has been crying about it for weeks".

“Me and my husband shut that down and told them that I'm giving birth in a hospital and that's that,” added the author. 

“Fast forward to when I give birth,” she wrote, while elaborating, “My husband drives me to the hospital and calls my BIL and his wife they get to the hospital when we do.”

“But a few minutes before I give birth I was in pain I have birth to 2 baby's before this and it could not compare to the pain. When I would show signs of pain like crying or groaning she would scoff or say a snarky remark,” continued the author. 

The OP further said, “The last straw was when I was about to push and she told me "Don't scream....or else" every single person in the room looked at her and the nurse kicked her out.”

The author added that a few hours after she gave birth, her husband told her that she “was a bit harsh to kick BILs wife out because she is the mother".

As the OP concluded her post, she asked fellow Redditors, “So AITAH?”

Redditors declare OP to be 'NTA' while slamming BIL and his wife

The Reddit community rallied behind the OP. They declared her "NTA" and some even declared the woman's husband to be "ridiculous".

One user declared, "NTA. I don't know why your BIL is having a child with a woman who has no empathy for family let alone the woman carrying their child but that's his burden to bear. I think getting kicked out of the operating theatre so as not to stress the patient makes sense and she should've behaved better."

"NTA. Your husband is ridiculous. The nurse kicked SIL out because you were the patient and didn't need her BS," said someone else, before adding, "If she wanted you giving biryh in a nudist colony she needed to gave let you know when asking you yo be surrogate so you could've made an informed decision."

Another user added, "NTA. Since SIL in law has never given birth, her instructions mean nothing. If she can’t be supportive, she can go. BIL changed his tune after they got their baby! Ungrateful if you ask me."

Someone else explained, "NTA. You didn’t kick her out, the nurse kicked her out. WTF is suddenly wrong with your husband? He was doing so well being on your side up till that moment — and then criticize you for something you didn’t even do? I don’t care if it’s true or fake, but this doesn’t track."

"NTA. You did not kick her out. The nurse did. The nurse was doing her job. Protecting the person giving birth is part of her job. Remind your husband of that. The NURSE was doing her job," said someone else, while adding, "That baby should be with you. Do you really think a baby is safe with that woman?"

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