'AITA for lashing out at my coach's assistant for making a joke about my dead father?'

A 16-year-old boy shared his experience on Reddit after lashing out at his coach’s assistant, who made a distasteful joke about his deceased father
PUBLISHED FEB 1, 2025
The incident occurred during his first swim practice after his father’s death in December (wundervisuals/E+)
The incident occurred during his first swim practice after his father’s death in December (wundervisuals/E+)

A father-son relationship is regarded as essential to a young man's emotional and social development where the father serves as the primary role model. However, the untimely loss of a father usually takes a toll on a young mind, similar to the young Reddit user who shared lashing out at his coach's assistant who made fun of his deceased father.

Taking to Reddit’s "Am I The A*****e" (AITA) forum, the 16-year-old boy shared his story in the post titled, 'AITA for lashing out at my coaches assistant for making a joke about my dad who recently passed?' where the Internet community backed him with 200+ comments.

OP shared snapping at the coach's assistant who made fun of his late father

The young man expressed his story by saying, "I 16M, was at swim practice earlier today (6:30-8:30PM) and this is one of my first practices back after my dad passed in early December."

After entering the OP changed as normal before taking a shower and going to the pool deck. "I have gained a bit of weight since the last time they have seen me and I’m quite out of shape and struggling to keep up when we start the practice," he added.

Besides congratulating him on his return and giving his hugs, the OP's coach essentially updated him on everything that had transpired, what he had missed, etc.

(Reddit)
(Reddit)

The OP continued, "Then we start the warm up, it was quite difficult for me as I haven’t swam in almost 2 months. To begin the warm up, we had to dive off the blocks, my dive was really slow and sloppy as I haven’t practiced for a while."

When the coach explained the major set, the coach's assistant, who "I think she’s 38F but idk for sure," said, "It’s a pity your dad couldn’t have died a little later to save you from this practice," and she burst into laughter.

Fuming, the OP snapped at her and said, "I tell her to PO and to not talk about things like that and I left early."

The OP's mother called the coach to let him know "what was said today was unacceptable" and that it was "disgusting" that an adult, who one should look up to as an authority figure, would say such things.

Reddit community supported OP

The online community supported the young OP for "snapping" at the coach as one wrote, "NTA What a completely horrible thing to say! Your mom should escalate this to the administration. I'm so sorry for your loss."

(Reddit)
(Reddit)

A second user added, "NTA first, I am so very sorry you lost your Dad. I gained weight when I lost mine. That is completely understandable. You are NTA for snapping at her, you are NTA for leaving early, you are NTA for dragging her ass on the internet. OMG I hope she gets fired. What a cruel and awful thing to say."

(Reddit)
(Reddit)

Another user said, "NTA - OP, my jaw is on the freaking floor. No adult should say that to a kid, especially when that adult is in a position of authority. Heck, adults shouldn’t even be speaking that way to other adults! That was cruel and heartless, and she should immediately be removed from her position. She has no business working with kids. I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope this person doesn’t ruin swimming for you; it seems like it’s something you’re passionate about, and you should hold on as tightly to that as you can."

(Reddit)
(Reddit)

"NTA, that assistant coach needs to learn some empathy, sensitivity and be off coaching until they do. However, at 38, it’s probably not going to happen. Sacking them should happen though. OP, I’m so sorry you lost your father so young, that sucks. I lost my mother at 19, it’s hard, and it will take a lot of time to process the grief. Your assistant coach deserves to lose their position for that nasty comment," suggested one.

(Reddit)
(Reddit)

One said, "NTA. She should be fired for saying that. I'm sorry for your loss OP. I think it's commendable that you've gone back to practice and I hope you remember to have compassion towards yourself while you navigate life after loss. Your mom is epic for chewing your coach out."

(Reddit)
(Reddit)

"NTA – The coach's assistant made a deeply inappropriate and hurtful comment, and your reaction is understandable given the pain you're going through," chimed in another.

(Reddit)
(Reddit)

One said, "NTA. My dad passed two and a half years ago unexpectedly when I was 21. I was just about to graduate college. I moved back in with my mom and got a job at a cafe so we could support each other. At one point, my abusive boss told me “I know you’re going through a hard time at home, but I have a business to run.” She completely lost my respect that day. You’re NTA. You showed more restraint than I would’ve. I’m glad your mom has your back and I’m sorry for your loss."

(Reddit)
(Reddit)

This article contains remarks made on the Internet by individual people and organizations. MEAWW cannot confirm them independently and does not support claims or opinions being made online.

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