'AITA for leaving my wife after her C-section because I couldn't stay awake all night?'

When a couple marries, they pledge to support each other through both joy and hardship. While many uphold this vow, there are times when, due to unforeseen circumstances, one partner may unintentionally fail to provide the full support they promised.

Recently, a man on Reddit's popular "Am I the A*****e" forum shared that he could not stay with his wife after her C-section as he can't physically stay awake all night.

Man's wife gives birth to baby via emergency C-section

The man wrote in the AITA forum that his wife was admitted to hospital for an induction of their second child. He added that during her first pregnancy, she had a rough time as it was during Lockdown and he was not allowed to stay with her. He wrote that his wife asked that he stay each night with her during this pregnancy as she gets quite anxious, and wants him there for support during the night.

The man wrote, "We came to the hospital at 2 AM on Sunday Morning, where she was put on a ward and started on hormones. The Labour wasn't progressing very quickly so she told me to go home around 9 AM as she'd need me when the baby came. I came back in the evening and she told me to go home and rest around Midnight." 

He added, "I came up early Monday morning and spent the day with her and went home around 5 to spend time with our daughter (staying with my parents). I got a call at 1 AM Tuesday from her. She thought she was in labor but didn't think the staff was taking her seriously."

The man wrote that he rushed up to the ward and the baby was born after three hours via an emergency C-section.

Man couldn't stay with his wife after her C-section as he couldn't physically stay awake all night

The man added that they moved around a fair bit until they were settled in a ward around 4 p.m. on Tuesday. They were extremely tired but managed a few hours as they had a little sofa where he could lie down. He wrote that he got up throughout the night to help with the baby so his wife could rest.

He wrote in the post, "This is where the question arose. The baby was noted to have a health problem and so has been taken for further tests. I took the baby as my wife had trouble walking during the pregnancy due to pelvic pain. This has continued and so she is in a lot of pain quite often, combined with the surgery."

He added that hospital staff needed to move them to another ward to observe the baby, but this ward does not have a pullout bed for partners.

The man wrote that he had lower back pain so he carried a cushion around to alleviate it whilst his wife was in hospital. He added that it doesn't do much but it means he can sit in the chairs for a bit rather than needing to lie down.

He wrote, "I've told my wife that I couldn't stay as I wouldn't be able to sit in the chair all night with no sleep. She expected me to stay the night and continue to help her out during the day. I feel really bad about it, but I wouldn't be able to sleep at all, and sitting in the chair would just further screw up my back."

He added that he set everything up for his wife to make it easier for her during the night. He mentioned that he spoke to the staff and told them how anxious she was and that she'd need extra help and told his wife to ask for help when she needed it.

He wrote, "I left at 12 AM and came back when the doors opened next morning. I've been taking over during the day and letting her rest when she wants to."

He concluded the post, "My argument is that I can't physically stay awake all night and all day. Although I'd agreed to stay all night with her before admission, I thought at least I'd be able to lie down. AITA?"

Internet sides with man who made AITA post

People on the internet sided with the man who made the AITA post and mentioned that he could not stay with his wife after her C-section as he couldn't physically stay awake all night.

A user commented on the post, "NAH. And I’ve been the wife post c-section. Our kid got re-admitted when she was three days old and I had to stay with her, attempting to feed her, pump and give her a bottle every hour. It was the worst night of my life but my husband was dead on his feet. He needed to get some actual sleep so he could help us the next day. He needed enough rest to safely drive us home again."

A person also added, "NAH, there’s a reason why on planes they instruct you to put on your oxygen mask first and then help your child. If you are not safe/well/rested you cannot take of anyone properly. Given that your wife was in the hospital and had nursing staff and doctors she could call for assistance if needed, it was ok for you to ensure you were well rested to support her during the day."

A user also wrote, "NAH. I bet you're gonna be roasted by people telling you "YTA suck it up, your wife has it worse!" And I'm gonna say that yes, of course the wife has it worse. But the doesn't make it a race to the bottom to see who can suffer more. You gotta sleep. You gotta be vaguely functional, you've got another child at home that needs you- you can only spread yourself so thin."

While one mentioned, "NTA. I've been where your wife is and my husband has similar back problems and is also very tall... Those chairs are atrocious. Going home to sleep was the best choice you could have made. She was in the hospital where there were plenty of extra professionals to help and pick up the slack."

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