'AITA for leaving my wife after her miscarriage knowing she cheated on me with my friend?'

According to a recent Reddit AITA post, a husband abandoned his wife after she miscarried. However, things were not as simple as they appeared because the husband shared that his wife had been cheating on him with a friend named "Harry" who was staying with the couple for a week.

The husband detailed his dramatic situation on the popular "Am I The A*****e" (AITA) forum in the post, titled, 'AITA for leaving my wife after her miscarriage?' which garnered mixed responses from the Reddit community.

Man shares his wife cheated on him before suffering miscarriage

The Original Poster (OP) shared that he and his wife have been married for a little more than two years and have been trying for a child recently. They had a "small shared friend group" and one of the members of the group who the husband called "Harry."

"Harry was kicked out by his girlfriend five months back, we let him stay with us for a week," the OP said.

Sharing the happy news of pregnancy, the OP said, "Me and my wife had been trying for a baby and a month I think after Harry left she told me she was pregnant, of course I was really happy," before adding, "But everything seemed just a bit weird I suppose."

The OP noted that his wife was "distant" although it was supposed to be the happiest moment of their lives and Harry stopped attending their time together as a group.

"I began to get suspicious but tried to blame it on paranoia or stress as I have a history of mental health issues," he said.

However, his concerns were confirmed two months ago when "Harry called me up crying" "whilst I was on my way back from work."

"He said he couldn’t get over his guilt and admitted he had been sleeping with my wife the week he stayed with us when I was out," the OP detailed.

Expressing his shock, the husband said, "I didn’t know what to do, I still don’t honestly. I never thought anything could hurt this much. I just hung up and kept the information to myself."

"I knew I’d tell my wife and leave her eventually but I didn’t know when I’d be ready so I just kept my distance. I didn’t know who the baby belonged to either so that just made it worse," he added.

OP's wife suffers miscarriage

Following the shocking revelation from Harry, the husband went on to narrate that his wife kept calling him when he was at work but he decided to ignore the calls until the end of the day.

"When I called her back she was sobbing and screaming uncontrollably. She was at the hospital, apparently she had noticed some blood when going to the bathroom and went to hospital where they confirmed she lost the baby," the OP explained.

Her crocodile cries over a future she so obviously threw away were too much for the husband to bear. He said, "I just told her I knew what she had done and to stop asking me to care about a kid that probably wasn’t even mine and that she deserved this."

"I think that was a bit too far. Though all I could do was go home and pack her stuff. Putting it onto the lawn."

The OP added that his wife's brother later arrived to collect her stuff and that they are currently going through the divorce process "but now I’m questioning if I made the right call."

Sharing his dilemma, the husband said, "My family for the most part think I was right to leave but say I should’ve done so immediately and not when she was in a crisis, that it caused us both unnecessary pain. However almost all our mutual friends have cut me off or said they need space."

Asking for advice, the OP said that some others attacked him on Instagram, calling his decision to leave at that moment "sociopathic." "They’ve always been reasonable people so I’m starting to question AITA?"

Reddit community offers mixed response

The online community offered mixed responses to the husband's situation. One called him an "NTA" and wrote, "NTA. She cheated and lied, you had every right to leave. The timing was unfortunate, but that’s on her, not you. Focus on moving forward."

A second user added, "NTA. You left your cheating wife; her having a miscarriage around the same time is incidental. But you also need to wake up and play this smarter. You made it easy for them to vilify you by speaking about her miscarriage. Stick purely to discussing her adultery and express how hurt you are by her betrayal; that's the angle you should explain to your social circle. Also, get more info from Harry. See if you can get further evidence or info of their duplicity."

A third user echoed a similar sentiment and said, "NTA. You did nothing wrong. She cheated and you handled the best you could. She was manipulating you the entire time she was pregnant."

One commented, "You are clearly NTA for leaving someone who cheated on you. Whether or not some of the things you said were okay is another matter (and I don’t think there would be a consensus either way) but no reasonable person could fault you for divorcing a cheater."

Several others provided differing opinions as one noted, "I'd like to point out that you're not leaving her because she had a miscarriage. That would be cruel towards her. You're leaving her because she cheated on you and got pregnant by your friend. That is cruel towards you. There are two A's in this story, but neither of them is you."

"You obviously need to tell people the real reason you left, otherwise your friends will think it was the miscarriage, which would make you a giant A*****e," another remarked.

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