'AITA for not accepting the invitation to the wedding of my dad with his affair partner?'

An Internet user has refused to go to his father’s wedding with his fiancee whom he started dating when the OP’s mother was battling cancer. 

A Redditor bearing the user name Top-Travel-7135 shared his story on the AITA section of Reddit where he asked the question, “AITA for not going to the wedding of my dad and his affair partner?”

The 25-year-old man recounted the story of how his father was absent most of the time when his mother battled cancer before dying. In the meantime, OP’s father got himself a new girlfriend, whom he is marrying now. 

Problem arose when the OP (original poster) declined an invitation to his father’s wedding and was bombarded with texts and calls from family members asking him to change his mind.

Young man declines invitation to father’s wedding with affair partner

“When I was 17, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer,” started the author recounting his tale, before adding that his mother died after two years. He continued, “During these 2 years my dad was not around much.”

“He was always working and going on business trips,” noted the OP, and added that his grandmother and aunt took care of her during her last days. 

However, he noted, “About 5 months after my mother's passing my dad introduced me to his new girlfriend.”

The OP, naturally being upset, retaliated at his father. “I yelled at him how quickly he moved on from mom when they decided to tell me they had been in a relationship for 3 years.”

He added, “My dad had been cheating on my mom while she was dying. His business trips were to meet his affair partner.”

After the confrontation, the OP packed and left his father’s house. “I haven't spoken to him since that day," he said.

Coming back to the present, the now 25-year-old author shared, “The only family I speak to is an aunt who helped me when I left my dad's house.”

“A few days ago my aunt called me, asked me how I was and then asked me if I heard from dad. I said why would I hear from him again,” continued the OP. 

It was then his aunt told him that his father was “getting married to his affair partner” and urged the OP to go to his wedding as it would help them mend their strained relationship. 

Angered, the OP continued, “I said why would I do that. He is dead to me. There was a silence on the phone for a bit before my dad replied asking if that was what I felt about him.”

The OP immediately disconnected the call when he realized his father was with his aunt at that time. “I texted my aunt telling her I asked her not tell dad anything about me and she agreed back then.”

But OP’s aunt texted her back saying he “was an a*****e” for saying that, adding his father “was crushed hearing that.” She also urged him to move on. “I did not want to argue with someone who helped me so I blocked her,” noted the OP. 

He continued, “Over the next 2 days, I got sent a wedding invitation to my mail box. The only person in the family who knew my address was my aunt. And she gave my number to various members of the family. I am being bombarded with calls and texts from dad, uncles, cousins, aunts saying I should give him a chance and come to the wedding.”

While OP got called names for his words, he also received a text from the fiancee saying that his father was thinking of postponing the wedding, and that OP should talk to him. 

“(For context, the affair partner was a friend of my mom and knew she had cancer),” the OP added, before continuing, “I said its not my fault if he postpones the wedding. I don't want to have relationship with dad or her. They are trying to force it.”

“It got quiet after that but being told by so many people from my dad's side I am an a**hole did leave me conflicted but I am sticking to my guns,” concluded the OP, before asking, “So AITA?”

Internet backs OP after he cuts ties with his father

As the author shared his side of the story, the netizens supported him wholeheartedly and advised him to cut ties with his family members. Moreover, they also highlighted that OP's father cheated on his dying wife, thus not deserving OP's presence in his wedding. 

One of the social media users said on Reddit, "NTA. Your dad cheated on your mom while she was dying, and now the whole family is upset you’ve calmly expressed how you feel about it by:

a) cutting your dad out, and, b) not attending the wedding. Your aunt also violated your trust by giving your contact information out without your consent. I’d say cut the whole family out at this point."

Someone else declared, "NTA. Tell your father you are treating him like he treated your dying mother. Block everyone who tries to tell you how to feel. Move on and don't look back."

"I really don’t know why the AP bothers to marry the man anyway - she already watched him discard the whole of his last set of vows (including the “in sickness and in health”). What’s the point of marrying when neither of them believe in honoring such promises in the first place?" added another user.

Another Redditor chimed in, "NTA Its not wrong of your other family members to be open to a relationship with your dad BUT it is wrong of them to force you to have one with him. You have every right to have no contact with him and I think your reasoning is totally understandable. Sending you love, it sounds like a shit situation."

"NTA. Your dad spent 8 years seemingly fine with not being in contact with you. Now that he has a public event where your absence would be noticed, he’s reaching out," mused another user.

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