'AITA for not changing the date of my wedding to accommodate my fiance's best friend?'

Planning a wedding is no easy feat but what happens when a bride's fiance’s best friend insists that the chosen date is a personal attack against her?

One bride-to-be found herself in the middle of an unexpected controversy when her fiance’s childhood friend accused her of deliberately excluding her from the wedding. Thereafter, she took to Reddit's popular 'Am I the A**hole' (AITA) forum, asking, "AITA for not changing the date of my wedding to accommodate my fiance's best friend??"

A perfect date that 'worked best' until it didn’t

"I (29F) and my fiancé (31M) have known each other for 10 years, dated for 2, and recently got engaged. We both decided we don't want to wait long, as we are both eager to buy a home/begin married life, so we picked a date 3 months from now that worked best for us," the Original Poster (OP) began 

With limited vacation time due to her job in healthcare, the bride had one clear window to make her dream wedding happen.

OP wrote, "The date had to be very strategic, as I work in healthcare where vacation time is VERY limited, with most vacations being applied for months in advance. So we picked the only week that was available (where I didn’t happen to have my period—what a way to spend the honeymoon!)."

They secured a venue, sent out invitations, and everything was falling into place—until an unexpected call changed everything.

"Shortly after, my fiancé's best friend (35F) called upset, saying she and her husband will be away on vacation until the day after the wedding. She wants us to change the date so that they will be able to attend," OP stated.

The bride, not wanting to alter her carefully planned wedding, offered what seemed like a reasonable solution.

She declared. "I absolutely do not want to change the date of my wedding. The date/venue/location are all perfect, and fit wonderfully into the ONLY vacation week available to me. Instead, I suggested they end their trip a day early, so they would be able to attend. I feel as though changing flight plans (they are vacationing domestically) would be easier/less expensive than losing a deposit, plus us re-planning."

But the best friend wasn’t having it. "She refuses and is claiming that I chose the date of the wedding specifically so that they could not attend, since she and I had a bit of bad blood at the start of my relationship with my fiancé," the woman said.

Old wounds but new accusations arise before couple's wedding 

This accusation hit a nerve, bringing up unresolved tensions from the past.

"To clarify, this is 1,000% NOT the case. Of course, I would want her to be there, as she is a very important person to my future husband," OP explained.

The bride’s friends saw the situation as an unfortunate scheduling conflict, while the best friend’s camp insisted she was being unfair.

"Her friends are now saying ITA, whereas my friends say it is an unfortunate circumstance, but that it would be easier for her to change the flight than it would be for us to change the date. My fiancé agrees and wants to keep the date," she deduced.

But was this really just about a scheduling conflict, or was there more to the story?

The best friend had been a significant figure in the groom’s life for years.

She continued, "To clarify a bit about their friendship, they have been friends from a young age, and have a big sister/little brother relationship. She has been happily married for 10+ years, and I have never suspected any type of romantic inklings between her and my fiancé in the decade that I’ve known them."

Still, there was tension when the bride set certain boundaries early on.

"When we first started dating, I did ask that they not spend time alone and I kinda always thought it was weird, but since we weren't dating, it wasn't really my problem. When we began dating, I brought it up and my fiancé agreed, since he enjoyed hanging out in group settings and wanted to respect my boundaries," OP noted.

The best friend did not take it well.

She wrote, "She did not like it one bit, and called me controlling and insecure. Call me conservative or whatever, but I don't see how it made any sense when I could just join them? It got a little nasty for a bit, but we have since worked it out and she and I are back on good terms, though I can't say whether or not that popped up in the back of my head when she started accusing me of planning this date on purpose."

Now, with accusations flying, old wounds reopening, and wedding stress peaking, the bride had one lingering question: "AITA?"

Internet declares: NTA

The online jury decided strongly on NTA as one Reddit user chimed in, "NTA. She’s allowed to think what she may think about your motivations, but you and everyone else with a rational brain will know that’s not the case. You will also be correct in your rationale that rescheduling a return trip one day earlier is significantly less burdensome than reschedulaaing a wedding. Pay them no mind and continue planning for your exciting day!"

Another added, "Absolutely NTA. And considering your schedule, either best friend can be at the wedding or the bride.

Someone else noted, "NTA for keeping the wedding date. But asking your boyfriend to stop hanging out alone with one of his oldest friends (who’s happily married)? There YTA."

A viewer remarked, "NTA. It’s so rude that she even asked."

One comment declared, "NTA. There is no date that will work for everyone."

Another observed, "Nta. It's your fiancé's job anyway to clarify to her that you two chose the date together because of the background reasons you stated above and that he too wants to stick with it."

As one person explained, " I find this all so weird. Before we booked our wedding date we checked with the people that we absolutely had to have their (parents, siblings, best friends) that they were available on that date. My husband’s best friend would most definitely have made that list! Why an earth wouldn’t you check? The only reason I can’t think of is because you don’t care whether husband’s best friend is there or not. Which is fine, but also kind of s****y if he does care whether she’s there or not. You don’t need to change your wedding date for anyone else, so technically NTA? But don’t pretend you actually want her there, your actions have clearly shown you don’t."

This article contains remarks made on the Internet by individual people and organizations. MEAWW cannot confirm them independently and does not support claims or opinions being made online.