‘AITA for not giving gift or money to godson for Christmas due to strained relationship with his mother?’

A woman took to Reddit to ask if she was wrong for not giving a gift or money to her godson because of her strained relationship with his mother.

In a post titled "AITA for not giving money to my godchild?", the Reddit user, under the username wandering_lost_soul0, wrote in the “Am I the A**hole” (AITAH) forum, “This happened on the morning of December 31. Here's some backstory: I have an ex-friend who stopped being part of our friend group around 2020 or 2021 (I don’t remember exactly).”

OP had not spoken to her godson's mother for years

The original poster (OP) revealed that her ex-friend had blocked all of her friends, including her “because of her toxic boyfriend/baby daddy, who didn’t like us. He claimed we were causing their fights by pointing out issues like her being seen with another guy and other cheating problems.”

However, sometime later, the Redditor’s former friend unblocked everyone and added them on Facebook. But that did not go well as the Redditor did not talk to her and eventually unfriended her because of her negative posts.

Continuing further, the OP shared, “After almost four years of no contact, I was shocked when she messaged me at midnight on Christmas, asking if she could celebrate with us. I didn’t respond because I didn’t want to entertain her message and accept her message request.”

OP was ‘shocked’ to find former friend’s child at her home

The woman, however, was shocked to find her ex-friend’s son and his grandmother at her house on December 31.

She explained, “In our culture, when your godchild comes to greet you during Christmas or days after Christmas you’re expected to give them a gift or money. Her son is around 4 or 5 years old. To say I was shocked and annoyed would be an understatement.”

The woman stated that she was so upset that she just “nodded at the child. I heard my mom telling the grandmother, ‘She’s not in the mood,’ and they left.”

However, the Redditor noted that she was later confronted by her family, who think she’s “being cruel and cold, and that I shouldn’t let my anger at the mother affect the child.”

“They said I should’ve just given money. I told them I wasn’t obligated to do so. Now, I’m wondering, was I wrong in this situation? Was I the a**hole?” the woman added.

Fellow Redditors back OP and say she did the right thing

People on Reddit commented on the OP's post to share their views on her situation and said that she did the right thing.

A fellow Redditor commented, “NTA. Even if it is for the child, going into someone's house uninvited is very disrespectful, especially that she cut you off years ago. you are not obligated to give anything esp there's no relationship here anymore.”

Another said, “NTA, the kid hasn’t seen you since he was a s all baby, he has no idea who you are so you haven’t upset him by not giving him money. His mother sounds awful and his grandma doesn’t seem much better.”

“NTA, I don't know your culture but the idea that this kid could just rock up expecting money, when you haven't seen the kid in years and are no longer friends with the mother, that's pure insanity. I honestly think that's tacky as all hell,” one person remarked.

“So your ex friend couldn't even be bothered to come visit you, even with the prospect of getting some money? NTAH. You behaved very well imo,” another shared.

“NTA. You’re not obligated to give money or gifts to your godchild, especially when it’s been years of no contact and the mother sends him unannounced with no warning. It’s unfair for your family to guilt you into giving when the situation feels manipulative. It’s not the child’s fault, but the responsibility lies with the parent, not you. You’re entitled to set boundaries,” one individual noted.

Another added, “NTA. Any discomfort for the child lies squarely on the shoulders of your ex-friend, and discomfort for the grandmother lies on either herself or her daughter, depending how clued in the grandmother was. Honestly it sounds like the request to celebrate was a setup with getting some cash for her kid in mind. Have nothing to do with this woman and don't be pulled into any drama.”

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