'AITA for not letting my girlfriend drive my car because she’s crashed two vehicles before?'

Owning your first "nice" car is a milestone many young adults dream of, and for one Reddit user, that dream materialized in the form of a 2019 Mazda 3.

After years of hard work, scrimping, and driving clunky beaters, the 24-year-old proudly purchased his new ride. However, when his girlfriend Emily, also 24, wanted to drive the car, he was hesitant for a particular reason.

Man refuses to let his girlfriend drive his new car

“I worked my a** off for it. I saved for years, drove beaters while I worked two jobs, and when I finally got this car, it felt like a reward for all my effort,” the original poster (OP) shared in Reddit's "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) forum.

His dedication to the car’s upkeep speaks volumes—washing it every weekend, keeping the tank above half, and parking in no-man’s-land to avoid door dings.

But this shiny new achievement has driven a wedge between him and his girlfriend Emily. The OP described her as “the single worst driver I’ve ever met,” a sentiment he backed up with hard-to-ignore evidence.

Two totaled cars in two years: The first accident occurred during a poorly judged highway merge and the second while reversing into a light pole in an empty parking lot.

“I’ve had to tell her multiple times to back off the car in front of her because it feels like we’re going to die,” he confessed.

With a self-professed lack of focus, Emily admitted that she finds driving “boring” and doesn’t enjoy “paying attention.”

This history of mishaps made him cautious about letting her behind the wheel. The OP recalled the one time, "I’ve let her drive my old car once before (a 15-year-old Civic I wasn’t super attached to), and she managed to scrape it pulling into a gas station. After that, I said I’d never let her drive my car again, and we both kind of laughed it off."

However, the lighthearted agreement didn’t last.

OP says he doesn't trust his girlfriend's driving skills

With his new car in the picture, Emily started asking—then insisting—that she take it for a spin. What began as playful teasing escalated into frustration. “She says stuff like, ‘You act like I’m going to crash it or something.’ And, well… yeah,” he explained.

During a dinner outing, Emily raised the issue again, calling his refusal “weird” and saying it made her feel like he didn’t trust her. He responded bluntly, “It’s not that I don’t trust you—it’s that I’ve seen you drive, and I can’t afford to have this car wrecked.”

This honesty struck a nerve. Emily grew quiet, later accusing him of embarrassing her and making her feel incompetent.

While the OP apologized for any unintended hurt, he stood his ground, pointing out her track record. Emily, however, feels he should “get over it” and accept that accidents happen.

In retaliation, she’s now refusing to let him use her PC, sarcastically claiming he might “break it.”

The boyfriend views this as childish, but his girlfriend feels his stance is controlling and dismissive of her capabilities. Their once-playful banter about cars has turned into a full-blown argument about trust, respect, and boundaries.

Internet backs the OP for not letting his girlfriend drive his new car

The post sparked heated debate online, with several Reddit users declaring the OP as Not The A**hole (NTA) as they claimed he was justified in protecting his car.

One social media user expressed, "NTA. Not only is she a bad driver, but she refuses to take any responsibility. Both of her major "accidents" were entirely her fault, but you should "get over it". You'd be crazy to let her drive.  Given her retaliation via her PC, you need to also evaluate whether you'd be crazy to stick with her."

Another observer added, "NTA. Regardless of your reasoning, your gf is not entitled to driving your car. If she brings it up again, bring up all of the things she’s done while driving the other cars. But also, do you really want to stay in a relationship with someone like this?" 

"The bad driving, the immature pettiness (not allowing you to use her pc), the lack of self awareness, the inability to take NO as an answer? Like I think the way she responded to you uncovers a lot more issues with this one than just bad driving," they added.

One person pointed out, "Nta. She is irresponsible and quite frankly AN AWFUL PERSON for thinking her behavior is ok or "cute" How can you even look at your gf knowing she is this lackadaisical about other's safety on the road? EW how will you feel when she hurts someone or worse kills someone with her idiot look on driving ...I don't like to pay attention wah wah I'm an entitled jerk is what that sounds like. Would you let her drive your future kids around if the answer is no what are you doing with her?"

Another remarked, "NTA. > Later, she told me I embarrassed her and made her feel like she’s incompetent. She is not only incompetent but a danger to herself and others. She should have her license revoked from what you wrote."

One commenter asked, "Why are you sugar coating the truth? You do not trust her to drive tour car. You do think she will total it.  I mean,, I'm impressed you don't sound more alarmed that shes going to kill herself or someone else because "paying attention"  is BORING??? I'm impressed you're still with her when you think shee drives Ina  way that actually makes you feel unsafe and like she's going to run into another car. You sound like you're underreacting. Are you not worried she'll kill herself in an accident? Is she so unbothered with life that she does not even know she drives unsafely?"

Another questioned, "NTA, but do you really want to be in a relationship with someone so incapable of self-reflection?"

An individual elaborated further, saying, "It's your car. She could have a spotless driving record and you would still be OK for saying no. She has no claim to your property. NTA."

"Nta. She’s not on your insurance. Don’t let her drive. She’s a distracted and bad driver," another individual added. 

This article contains remarks made on the Internet by individual people and organizations. MEAWW cannot confirm them independently and does not support claims or opinions being made online.