'AITA for not making payments toward my wife's student loans after she insulted my sister's education?'

Some lessons in life don’t come from textbooks—or Ivy League schools, for that matter. One man learned this the hard way after his wife’s elitist attitude toward his sister made him rethink a financial arrangement that had been benefiting her for years.

In a desperate attempt to find answers, the man took to Reddit's "AITAH" forum to ask, "AITAH for not making payments towards my wife’s student loans after she insulted my sister’s education?"

The tale of two educations

The original poster (OP) began his story by writing, "I [36M] have been married to my wife, Anne [28F], for three years. Anne is an Ivy League university graduate. Without revealing too many details, she went to a school that virtually every American knows by name. My sister, Jennifer [40F], went to a different Ivy League school, but one that is considered lower in status than Anne’s."

While Anne may have earned her diploma, Jennifer’s journey took a different turn.

"Jennifer did not graduate. She began suffering from mental health issues during her second year, and so she dropped out," the man shared.

"Anne, however, did graduate, with a degree in philosophy. She works at a law office as a receptionist, making about $40,000/year," the OP added about his wife. 

For someone who studied philosophy, Anne seemed to lack a basic understanding of kindness—especially toward her husband’s family. And what made it all the more puzzling?

"Now, for some reason beyond my understanding, Anne loves talking down to Jennifer. This is particularly odd to me because I didn’t even go to college, and yet she chose to marry me. I began working as a plumber out of high school, and now I own a small business that brings in a yearly profit well into six figures," further wrote the man. 

It seemed Anne’s views on education were selective—she was perfectly fine with her husband not having a degree, but when it came to his sister, she couldn't resist taking jabs.

The dinner that changed everything

Two weeks ago, things reached a boiling point.

"While we were out to dinner, Jennifer made mention of her time in college in passing, and Anne said, 'Oh, you mean the backup school that you never graduated from?'" the OP wrote. 

Jennifer, refusing to engage, chose dignity over drama.

"This sparked a short argument between the two, but Jennifer decided to be the bigger person and walk away. It was incredibly awkward, but Anne seemed very satisfied with herself," the man continued. 

But her moment of satisfaction was short-lived. The car ride home came with a reality check.

The OP shared, "On the drive home, I told Anne that I was done paying off her loans. She has been enjoying virtually her entire salary as leisure money, but with her elite Ivy League education, she should be able to afford them on her own, right?"

Anne, who had long enjoyed financial security thanks to her husband’s generosity, wasn’t prepared for this twist.

"Anne threw what could best be described as a tantrum, about how they’re too expensive, about how she doesn’t get paid that much, and about how I’m imperiling her financial well-being," the man noted. 

The irony wasn’t lost on anyone—she had mocked Jennifer for not finishing school, yet her expensive degree hadn’t exactly secured her the lucrative career she had expected.

Now, Anne, without having any remorse for her mistake, has been berating OP about his decision to stop making payments toward her student loans. 

"For the last two weeks, Anne has been absolutely insufferable about this. She won’t even talk to me about anything else. She insists that she shouldn't be penalized for over a hundred thousands dollars over what amounted to a short comment," the man shared, before asking, "Am I being an a**hole here for this?"

Redditors overwhelmingly support OP's decision to stop making payments toward his 'spoiled brat' wife's student loans

The Reddit community wasted no time weighing in, and the verdict was clear—Anne’s Ivy League degree might have taught her critical thinking, but humility? Not so much.

One wrote, "NTA. Anne is has an Ivy league education and she's a receptionist? I think we all know why Anne gets off on talking down to Jennifer. Because, Anne isn't exactly killing it in her chosen profession. And no, you shouldn't be paying off your spoiled brat wife's loans. She's so damn brilliant, I'm sure she'll figure something out. The fact that she claims having to pay her own loans is 'penalizing' says plenty about her character."

Another added, "It doesn’t really matter what school you go to, you can’t do much with a BA in Philosophy… technically Jennifer is probably better off because she doesn’t have the same level of debt.

Edit: everyone mad at me you’re proving my point. You need another degree or experience on top of the degree to do anything. I have a useless BA myself that without further education means nothing, that’s just the way it is. I was just making fun of the fact that she just brags about the degree instead of using it in any practical way to at least be able to afford to pay off her debt. Chill."

"Right? Guess that Ivy League education didn’t teach her about finances. Wasted 4 years at an insanely expensive school to make $40K a year. Kinda makes the wife look dumb. NTA," someone else remarked. 

One more stated, "NTA, and your wife with her elite ivy league education is ONLY A RECEPTIONIST for 40,000 a year, which makes her philosophy degree worthless. Tell your wife she is no better than your sister because she answers phones all day for a living. Your wife's student loans are not your responsibility."

One Redditor declared, "You married very, very foolishly. If she looks down on your sister, she certainly looks down on you. But then you have money so she has to be polite to you to get it."

Another person observed, "No, she shouldn’t be penalized over a short comment. She should be penalized for taking courses at an Ivy League school which couldn’t support her when she couldn’t afford it. The tantrum because she actually thinks she’s better as an Ivy League degreed receptionist than a woman and a man who have done better than she has without a college degree, is just the icing on top."

"NTA. The only education I’d willingly pay for after that would be a course on empathy because she’s severely lacking in that department," a netizen added. 

"NTA. I’m curious: did you agree to pay off HER student loans?" one more wondered. 

This article contains remarks made on the Internet by individual people and organizations. MEAWW cannot confirm them independently and does not support claims or opinions being made online.