'AITA for pressing charges against ex-wife who tried to to break into my home to steal proof of affair?'

A person recently took to Reddit's "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) forum to ask whether he was wrong for pressing charges against his ex-wife who was arrested for trying to break into his home to retrieve evidence of her infidelity while he was away. 

In the post titled "AITA for refusing to get rid of the evidence of my ex's infidelity?", the original poster (OP) explained that his ex-wife was arrested after attempting to break into his home to retrieve proof of her cheating, which he had kept after their marriage ended.

This has caused tension with his youngest daughter who is now not speaking to him. Despite this, the OP has decided not to drop the charges, sparking a debate among Reddit users.

The post has garnered over 5,000 upvotes and 662 comments, with people sharing their opinions on whether his actions were justified.

Man's ex-wife tries to break into his home to retrieve proof of her affair

The OP explained that they had recently changed their security system and gave the new code to their two oldest children but not to their youngest daughter.

"I had a security to which my children know the security code to, but for unimportant reasons I there was a switch in the company and when I upgraded I was given a new code and security pad to put it in," he said.

"Also, at the advice of the people installing the new I moved it to another spot. I told my oldest two kids what the new code was in-person, as I don't like texting that type of stuff in fear of phone hacking and since my youngest daughter wasn't talking to me and didn't want to hear from me, she didn't know about the change in codes," the OP continued.

While the OP was away on a trip, his ex-wife (who did not have the new code) attempted to break into the house, allegedly to retrieve evidence of an affair (referred to as "the tapes").

The OP explained, "I left town for a trip I'd scheduled a while back that my youngest daughter was aware of. This trip was going to be about 7 days long so my neighbors knew to keep their eyes pealed for anything suspicious. Two days into my trip I get an alert that my house was being broken into."

"The company calls and I tell them that I did NOT enter my home and wasn't expecting anyone. My neighbors also called the authorities. I could tell by the security cam that it was my ex-wife and she had someone else there but I didn't recognize them," he shared.

"The authorities had detained my ex who insisted that it was all a simple "misunderstanding" and I told them over the phone that it wasn't and I wanted to press charges and then laughed when the call was over. I laughed a lot. Hard and to the point where I was in tears and struggling to breathe. There was something about my trashy ex getting punished by the law that felt so liberating to me, but my joy took a pause when I started getting calls from my youngest," he further said.

The ex-wife was arrested and the man pressed charges against her. However, his youngest daughter, who had given the old code to her mother, asked him to dismiss the charges, leading to a tense situation where they were now not speaking.

"Turns out she gave the (old) security code to her mom with the intent to search my home for the tapes while I was gone and get them. My ex went on a different day than what was planned (don't know why) and that's how everything happened. My daughter asked me not to press charges but I went forward with it. My daughter was angry with me and we got into an argument where she blamed me for still having the tapes and telling her that I had the tapes," the man explained.

The OP concluded, "We haven't really spoken since but my other daughter convinced me to go to therapy and after a couple of sessions I discovered that one of the reasons why I held on to the tapes was because I never felt as if my ex was punished enough for what she did. She never apologized, never showed remorse, made excuses, and that has always pissed me off and it's also why I'm refusing to drop the charges. I'm still processing what all this means but that's how it is right now."

Internet divided as OP presses charges against ex-wife for trying to break into his home

The people on Reddit had mixed reactions to the OP's post, with many supporting him for pressing charges against his ex-wife. One user commented, "Breaking and entering. In almost every jurisdiction in the country, it's a felony! Heavens only knows what else she could have rifled through and taken. Your home is your castle, by law. I'm in vehement agreement with you NOT to drop charges. Let her deal with the consequences of her actions. Your younger/est daughter is out of line. Make no excuses to her or anyone. Just follow through with charges. Let justice run its course. You did great. Y are NTAH."

Another advised, "If you are divorced, don’t see why you’re keeping the evidence. Unless there still some legal reason. Why do other people know you still have it. If you’re still hanging onto it to torture your ex. Then you need therapy bad. Forget your ex. Get evidence out of your life or at least out of your house. You are going even tied to your ex as long as you hold on to it. You will never have a future with anyone else unless you move on."

"NTA. Do not drop the charges. She did break in - and was going to steal," one person said.

Another remarked, "NTA. Keeping the tapes isn’t the issue here. Your ex’s inability to respect boundaries and your daughter’s involvement in this scheme are.

Your ex had no right to break into your house, period. It’s not your fault she got arrested."

"NTA. Sounds like you're living out a real-life drama series, but hey, justice has its own script, right? Holding onto those tapes clearly means more than just having evidence; it's about feeling validated in your feelings and the wrongs done to you. It’s tough when family dynamics get tangled into legal issues, but sticking to your guns because you believe it’s right doesn’t make you the bad guy here. Therapy sounds like a good move—it’s like a debug mode for your emotions. Keep working through it, and maybe with time, things with your daughter can heal too," one individual added.

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