'AITA for pushing my parents to repay the money I gave them considering I’m managing my own expenses?'

A Reddit user turned to the platform’s famed "Am I The A*****e” (AITA)" forum for advice on a rather touchy situation: Their parents owe them $25,000—and they’re wondering if it’s wrong to demand it back.

The original poster (OP) — a student juggling tuition fees and a part-time job — titled their post, “AITA for asking my parents for my money back.”

Free rent comes at a price

The student began their story by explaining how they’d always wanted to move out of their family home, citing a childhood filled with drama. But in 2022, OP was persuaded by their parents to return home, with the promise of saving on rent.

On paper, it seemed like a win-win: free rent meant they could save up for their dream of buying a house. However, the reality was a far cry from the promise.

“Ever since moving back, I’ve been asked to pay for things that I’ve been promised would be paid back for,” OP wrote. “It started off with just some random $200 here and there. But then it jumped to $1,000 and eventually even $10,000.”

It's worth noting that OP’s family lives in a luxurious seven-bedroom house with marble floors in an affluent neighborhood, so financial struggles weren’t immediately obvious. Yet their mom revealed the family was juggling the mortgage for two properties—their current home and their childhood house.

OP shared: “I obviously thought about, ‘Why don’t you just sell our old house?’ But it is our childhood home, and it would be a shame to get rid of that asset.”

Asking for the money back has been no walk in the park. When OP broaches the subject, they’re often met with deflections like, “I can’t talk about that right now,” or vague reassurances that the money is coming. “To me, it just seems like they’re ignoring the fact that they have to pay me back and that hopefully ‘I’ll forget,’” OP vented.

Now, despite living rent-free, OP feels burdened by inconsistent promises and guilt-tripping. Their frustration is amplified by their financial struggles as a student: “I’m a student right now and pay for my tuition myself and I work part-time. At this point, I’d rather just move out again.”

They estimate their parents owe them $25,000, which is no small amount for someone in their position. "AITA for pushing them to pay me back?" OP asked.

Internet weighs in

The AITA hive mind didn’t mince words and the consensus was clear: OP is NTA (not the a-hole). However, the comments also served up some sobering advice.

"No NTA, but learn a lesson from this: Money lent to friends and family is pretty much given away and will rarely be seen again," one responded.

"NTA but agree with other comments that you should learn from this. IMO going through the legal system would be the best way to ensure you get your money back. Especially if they lose their temper and sounds like they gaslight you every time you bring it up," another offered.

Many commenters advised OP to cut their losses and focus on their financial stability.

"NTA, but you’re never seeing that money. Your parents are living beyond their means. Learn the lesson. Never lend money to anyone unless you’re okay never seeing it again. Save every penny you can so that you can move out and take care of yourself. Sorry," someone else chimed in.

"NTA. it's your money and you worked for it. that amount is not small, so it's just right that you ask for it. maybe it's time for you to move out now, good luck," read a comment.

"NTA... Parents tend to think because they took care of you till you're grown, it's automatically your turn to take care of them once you're independent.. quite funny but they gotta know you also need time to be stable and also will have your own family to take care of," another added.

In an edit to the post, OP revealed they’ve considered alternative solutions — like moving into the family’s second house or buying the deed outright. But that’s not an option right now—the property is currently rented out to relatives, and $25K isn’t nearly enough for a down payment.

"And as much as I shouldn’t be hopeful, my parents said that the only reason they aren’t selling it is because they would like to pass down the other home to either me or my sister," OP added.

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