‘AITA for reacting to friend’s pregnancy-related text to my boyfriend asking him to propose to me?’

A mid-30-year-old woman recently took to Reddit's popular "Am I the A**hole" (AITA) forum to seek advice over a weird situation where her pregnant female friend (Jess) texted her boyfriend, asking him to propose to her because Jess "didn’t want to have another milestone" before her.

The original poster (OP), shared with the Reddit community that she and her friend have "not lived in the same place in 20 years and talk on the phone maybe a couple times a year". However, after reacting to her friend's text to her boyfriend, the OP regretted and apologized to her but the friend has not responded since.

Woman shares how her pregnant friend asked her BF to propose to her

In the Reddit post, titled, "AITAH for reacting to my friend texting my bf to propose cause she’s pregnant," the OP shared that she had been friends with Jess since middle school, and they were both in their mid-30s.

According to the OP, Jess "got married a few years ago and they’ve been trying to get pregnant". Having been together for three years, the OP and her boyfriend plan to have children in the coming years, but not just yet.

"We are on the same page that a proposal is coming in 2025 and I don’t want to spoil the surprise," the OP said.

The OP added that she and Jess rarely ever communicate, although they do see each other every few years. The OP wrote, "She has no idea what our timeline is. She made the effort to meet up with us when we were home for the holidays, and I was pleasantly surprised by that."

"When we met up with her, she told me she is pregnant. I was of course super happy for her and to be an auntie," the OP said.

But the OP's boyfriend already knew about Jess' pregnancy because Jess had texted him to let him know she was expecting and she asked him to pop the question to the OP because she "didn’t want to have another milestone before I had had any".

The OP chose to ignore it as she didn't "ruin the moment" but asked her boyfriend about it after Jess had left.

Jess had asked the OP for her boyfriend's number in October. The OP guessed Jess "sent him this long text about how he had to propose cause she was pregnant and she didn’t want to tell me until I had a milestone".

Describing her boyfriend's stance, the OP shared, "He told her I’m not comparing myself to my friends and she should just tell me. He was taken aback and put in a position where he had a weird secret from me. He also didn’t want our engagement to have anything to do with anyone but us."

The OP added that she is happy to celebrate her close female friends who have diverse lives. "I’ve also finished grad school, started a fulfilling career, and built a successful business in the past few years. My other friends consider these milestones," she said.

The OP ended up texting Jess, who dated her partner for five or six years before getting engaged, to let her know that she was sort of mad because she didn't want Jess' life at all and it was not a competition. However, the OP regretted being "reactive".

Jess retorted that the OP had a "bad cycle of overthinking things and spiraling" and that she was being rude. "Mind you, we have not lived in the same place in 20 years and talk on the phone maybe a couple times a year. I genuinely apologized and haven’t heard from her since," the OP noted.

The OP shared she felt "protective" of her boyfriend, "hurt by the concept" that she couldn't be happy for her friend, and "angered" that Jess "inserted herself" into their relationship.

Seeking advice from the online forum, the OP concluded by saying: "I want to be part of this time in her life, but I also don’t want to include her in any part of mine at the moment. I want her to take accountability and apologize to both of us. AITAH?"

Redditors call OP's reaction to her friend's action 'justified'

The Reddit community largely stood in support of the woman, calling her an "NTA", as one wrote, "NTA, block her number on your boyfriend’s phone and move on. If she reaches out to you again, fine but she isn’t an active part of your life so just ignore her. You did or said nothing wrong."

A second user added, "NTA - Your friend had no right to meddle in your relationship or pressure your boyfriend to propose. Her actions were manipulative, and your reaction was justified!!"

"NTA - This was very odd of her, and a but invasive. But I cant help but wonder her motives here and if there are past interactions youve had that made her think this was a good idea. You’ve known each other over two decades so something like this doesnt usually happen without cause," a third user added.

"NTA. She was 100% out of line. She clearly thinks less of you considering her thought process. Let that "friendship" be over. Move on woth your life. Congrats on all your successes thus far. I'm sure there are more to come," chimed in another.

A user remarked, "NTA. She overstepped and honestly, it kind of screams of being egotistical and like she truly doesn't know you at all. She believed you would be jealous and upset if she had "another milestone" before you, which shows she doesn't really know you or even thinks well of you. I don't feel you have to be sorry at all."

This article contains remarks made on the Internet by individual people and organizations. MEAWW cannot confirm them independently and does not support claims or opinions being made online.