'AITA for refusing to break up with my girlfriend because my daughter doesn’t like her?'

The children often face the maximum repercussions when their parents go through a divorce. However, adding to the pain is when the children not only have to adapt to the absence of one parent but also have to welcome another step-parent. 

Something similar happened to a 15-year-old girl when her father put an unreasonable expectation on her to accept his new girlfriend just a month after introducing her. 

Recently, a man took to the AITAH section of Reddit to narrate his story where he has found himself at the crossroads between choosing his daughter and his girlfriend.

Redditor asks whether he is wrong for not paying heed to his daughter’s request

The author took to Reddit to post the question, “AITAH for telling my daughter I won’t break up with my girlfriend just because she doesn’t like her?”

He shared, “My ex wife and I finalised our divorce proceedings a couple of years ago. I had fallen out of love with her for a multitude of reasons, the biggest being her emotional affair which lasted a couple of weeks.”

He added that while his ex “did try really hard to save the marriage,” his “feelings for her had almost evaporated after her emotional affair.”

“The divorce was painful, but it was also amicable because for both of us our daughter’s well being was our first priority,” declared the OP (original poster) initially. 

However, he found love again when he started dating his present girlfriend last year. The problem arose when the OP introduced his daughter to his girlfriend “a couple of months ago.”

“My girlfriend moved in last month, and I plan on proposing to her at Christmas,” shared the author, however, his 15-year-old has developed “strong feelings about it.”

He added, “I understand it, but I think she will just have to get over it at some point.” He further continued, “My girlfriend is really nice to my daughter, and my daughter hasn’t really had any complaints about my girlfriend, she just thinks what I’m doing is very disrespectful to her mom.”

“Last night, my daughter told me she doesn’t like my girlfriend, that she’s sleeping in the place her mom used to sleep in, sit it the couch her mom used to sit on etc,” shared the OP while narrating his daughter’s emotions. 

He added that his daughter thought that his girlfriend “looks very happy because it’s a dream come true for her to live such a nice life, and it’s not fair to her mom.”

“I told my daughter I wasn’t going to break up with my girlfriend, in fact, I was going to marry her next year. I told my daughter she doesn’t have to like my girlfriend, but she will have to get over it,” noted the OP, before asking, “AITAH?”

Internet reacts to the Redditor's post

The Redditors were not pleased with the author's rendition of the events as many of them pointed out he was moving too fast in his relationship for his teenage daughter's comprehension. Some even called out his parenting style, while declaring him to be the a*****e in this case. 

One of the Reddit users declared, "YTA you introduced them and now you're moving her in and proposing in the span of a few months. Like in terms of shit parenting this is it. She barely had time to get used to the news and you keep springing more shit on her," before urging the OP, "Do better."

"Man that timeline is just messed up...," observed someone else, before adding, "You have left almost zero room for your daughter to get to know your new girlfriend. Of course she's going to dislike this woman taking her mother's place. They are essentially still strangers."

"OP’s timeline feels more like a speedrun than thoughtful parenting. Daughter’s still processing her parents’ divorce, and now she’s got to adjust to a live-in girlfriend and a potential stepmom practically overnight?" shared another user before musing, "If OP keeps this up, the only thing he’ll be walking down the aisle with is a strained relationship with his kid🙄."

Someone else criticized the OP's narrative, writing, "Op: “daughter’s well-being is our first priority." Then proceeds to blow up her nuclear family - the foundation of her identity - followed by quickly moving someone into her home that she doesn’t like and isn’t comfortable with. Op - YTA. When you destroy your child’s family, you need to give them time to mourn their devastating loss and adjust." The Redditor concluded, "But all you can think about is “me, me, me, me.” You’re incredibly selfish."

"Or just talking to her about the very real and valid grief she expressed about the loss of her family unit, particularly her mom. He completely ignored her reasonable and appropriate feelings of sadness, confusion, and grief at seeing someone else try and fill the space that used to be occupied by her mom. YTA op," declared another fan.

Someone else added, "Wait…. You started dating last year (so you’ve been together for about 1 year), your daughter just met her (about two months ago) and she’s already moved in? Now you’re telling your daughter you’re marrying her? For your daughter, that’s way too fast! She didn’t even had the time to know your girlfriend. Of course she doesn’t like her. Yes, YTA for telling your daughter that instead of listening to her and talking to her about what’s going on," someone else added.

This article contains remarks made on the Internet by individual people and organizations. MEAWW cannot confirm them independently and does not support claims or opinions being made online.