‘AITA for refusing to donate kidney to my estranged father despite his poor health and desperate plea?’

A Reddit user, going by the handle callmebeeeee, recently turned to the r/AITAH subreddit to ask if they were in the wrong for refusing to donate one of their kidneys to their father, who had been struggling with serious health issues for years.

The user explained that their father, in his mid-60s, had a history of neglecting his health, which had led to severe kidney problems, including one kidney no longer functioning and the other working at just 11% capacity. In addition to kidney failure, the father suffered from congestive heart failure and diabetes.

Redditor rejects father’s request for kidney donation

Despite knowing about his declining health for over a year, the father did not make any lifestyle changes. He then asked all his children if any of them would be willing to donate a kidney.

The OP explained, "Yesterday, he got all my siblings and I on FaceTime call to ask us whether we’d be open to donating one of our kidneys to him. He said he’s on the verge of dialysis and that the life expectancy of being on dialysis is 5-7 years."

The OP and their siblings all declined, citing concerns over their own physical and mental health.

The OP admitted, "My siblings are married with children, and although I don’t posses either of those things, I’m not the healthiest person physically or mentally to undergo such a procedure."

The OP's father suggested they should consider using Ozempic to get in better shape to be a suitable donor, but the OP refused again.

In their post, the user explained that their relationship with their father had been strained for years due to his narcissistic behavior, including arguments so severe that the OP's sister "went no-contact" with him for five years.

Reddit users side with OP for refusing to donate kidney to estranged father

Many Reddit users expressed sympathy, with several agreeing that the OP's refusal was understandable given the complicated family dynamics and the father's past behavior.

One user wrote, "NTA. Your body, your choice. Period. He spent years neglecting his health and your relationship, and now he wants you to risk your own well-being for him? That's a hard no. Don't let the guilt trip get to you."

Another added, "NTA. Blood is not a contract or obligation. Sad but true."

One user remarked, "That dad don't deserve a kidney from any of his kids."

"Just because he may get a new kidney doesn't mean he will change his ways. The kidney will probably be wasted on him," wrote one in support of the OP.

A person said, "That's a good rule. It should include NA for not being a surrogate. NTA for so many reasons. His lack of work to prevent worsening his health being my primary."

Another chimed in, "Nta. Sorry to be callous but with his congestive heart failure, diabetes and unwillingness to change his lifestyle, you'd be throwing away your kidney."

A comment read, "NTA, Organ donation should go the other way.  As a parent, I would donate to my kids, but even if they offered I would never accept a donation from them.  I've had my time, I'm not going to take theirs."

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