'AITA for refusing to let my husband’s ex-wife join our family vacation?'

A woman recently sought advice on Reddit’s "Am I The A*****e" (AITA) forum, posting under the title, "My husband's single ex-wife wants to come on vacation with us, and I don't want her to. AITA?" The now-deleted post quickly gained traction, with Reddit users rallying behind the stepmother who voiced her frustrations about her husband’s ex-wife insisting on joining their family trip.

Shared by the original poster (OP) on the widely-followed subreddit, the story ignited a spirited discussion, amassing over 2.3k upvotes and 643 comments, as reported by Someecards.

Woman shares dilemma about her husband's ex-wife

In the post, OP explained how the conflict began. She and her husband have been planning an overseas trip with her stepson, a trip her husband’s ex-wife now insists on joining.

"My husband and I have been talking to his son for a long time about taking him with us to abroad, as we travel every year. My husband and I have been together for 6 years and I have been a normal part of our son's life. Now that our son has been expressing that he wants to go with us abroad, my husband's single ex-wife is suggesting she go with us to take our son abroad."

The OP explained, "For a little back story, every time my husband and I tell her we are going to take our son to a movie, event or some type of show, she buys tickets for the same event a week or two before we take him so that she can take him first."

"She also made it INCREDIBLY hard for me to meet my son, even after a year of my husband and I dating, but introduces her boyfriends to our son within weeks of dating," OP wrote. "Now that we want to take our son traveling with us to show him what is out there, she is insisting she must come too. I married my husband and my son. I did not marry his ex-wife."

OP shared that she’s been a part of her stepson’s life for six years and has always treated him as her own, referring to him as her "bonus son" and ensuring he never feels like an outsider in their family.

"Now my husband is saying I am childish for not wanting to take his single ex-wife on vacation with us, to stay in the same VRBO as us. If it were truly about giving our son the best life we all could, the ex-wife would stay home and trust us to take care of our son."

OP emphasized that she respects her stepson’s biological mother and has never tried to replace her. However, she believes co-parenting doesn’t require the ex-wife to join them on vacation.

"I do however share financial responsibility for him, plan his birthday parties that he spends with us, and do anything and everything I can to give him every bit of attention and love that EVERY child deserves. NO CHILD deserves to feel like a step child, that's why I don't call him my step-child. I'm sorry if that offends anyone."

"My bonus son's bio mom is an excellent mother to him. I never refer to him as "My son" in front of him, I always introduce him as "My bonus son" so as not to confuse him and I always speak highly of his mother in front of him. I am not trying to take her place, nor have I ever tried to," OP concluded.

Internet backs stepmom after she refuses husband’s ex-wife on family vacation

The comments section was ablaze with support for OP, with many users branding her as NTA (Not the A*****e).

One user wrote, "Exactly this. There is NO FREAKING WAY I would stand by and let this happen. You need to make it plain to your husband that this is the hill you die on."

Another said, "Yeah, you and hubby need to have a talk about this one. If his ex wife comes on the trip, you'll be visiting a lawyer. He HAS to separate the fact that she's remaining in his life as his sons mom from his duties to you as a husband. She's not his wife and you are. Keeping her quiet and happy cannot come at your expense."

Another chimed in, "I mean, nothing else needs to be said. Well maybe one more thing. They need to stop telling her their plans in advance so she cannot 'one-up' them at every turn."

A fourth user added, "NTA. Tell your husband that he already has a wife and he does not get two wives. Stand strong on this or this will be your life forever. Stop telling her and your son plans in advance. You could tell her one movie and then go to another across town. Otherwise, you should leave."

"I've never seen someone be the wife and the side chick at the same time. It's impressive, OP NTA, unless you let this nonsense continue," a user said.

Another wrote, "NTA. They’re divorced for a reason. IMO all of this is too much time together and the vacation would be even more so. Maybe she hates that there is another woman in son’s life that he might bond with. That’s a bit crazy because children should be able to have an opportunity to trust and maybe love their caregivers. I’m guessing it takes a lot of energy for the x to be this involved in outings that aren’t meant to involve her. Your time with your husband and his son is important bonding time for your family unit. IDK why your husband allows this fourth wheel. How does it benefit anyone except the x (somehow)."

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