'AITA for refusing to marry my BF after he suggested I leave work after marriage and become a housewife?'

At 29, she had it all—or so it seemed. A six-figure salary, a home she owned outright, and a career she’d worked tirelessly to build as a head nurse in a reputable government hospital.

But when the Reddit user, the Original Poster's (OP) love life hit an impasse, she decided to take the road less traveled, leaving behind a wealthy fiance who wanted her to give up everything she had worked for.

A dream love turned nightmare

"I have had a couple of boyfriends, but we couldn’t marry due to circumstances beyond our control," she shared.

One moved out of the country and another’s family disapproved of the woman's background. That relationship, with the love of her life, ended because they couldn’t see a peaceful future together.

After heartbreak and societal pressure, she agreed to an arranged marriage.

"Finally, I agreed to the setup and matched with a guy. We had a year of courtship and fell in love. Marriage was planned for next year," she explained.

Her fiance was wealthy—extremely so. But as their relationship deepened, cracks in the foundation began to show.

"His family and he started saying I don’t need to work. He said he’d give me as much money as I wanted, but he wanted me to handle the household," she revealed.

"Note we have multigenerational family homes. So his parents would have lived with us too," she added. 

Woman stands her ground against traditional expectations in marriage

For the original poster, the ultimatum was clear - sacrifice her hard-earned career or sacrifice the relationship.

"I told him it isn't possible for me. I worked hard to reach this level in my career. I told him I don’t want to be his bed warmer and housemaid. I have immense respect for housewives, but I don’t want to be one," she said.

The passive-aggressive remarks from his parents only fueled the tension.

"His parents started being passive aggressive. I ignored. His mom said, ‘Today’s girls are so tough and don’t value family values,’" she recounted after a heated argument during a weekend lunch.

"I told her I value family, but that doesn’t mean I want to be like previous-generation women who sacrificed everything to be seen as goddesses in society. I have seen my mom sacrificing so much, and which I don't want to," the original poster said.

Woman breaks free from marriage pressures

Days of deliberation followed, but she knew what she had to do.

"I told my parents this won’t work. They were shocked and sad because it would cause a loss of reputation for our family. But I stopped eating, and they agreed after seeing my condition. We broke up," she said.

The fallout was swift. His family was livid. "They tried to ruin my reputation," she added.

But the woman wasn’t going to let them win. "I made a public post on Instagram and Facebook with screenshots of chats where I was being pressured to leave my job. Now I have full support," she said.

The threats from her ex-fiance's family continued, but she stood firm.

"At this point, I don’t care. If a man has to come, he will. If he doesn’t, I’ll adopt a kid in the future. But I don’t want to be someone’s doormat," she wrote on Reddit, adding "He could’ve told me from day one but made me fall for him and wasted a year. He said he found me attractive and so he went for me. I feel weird."

The original poster's relatives chimed in with their unsolicited opinions.

"Some are saying I am leaving a millionaire," she admitted. But her response was unwavering as she said, "I don’t want to be stuck in a golden cage."

Internet supports OP's bold decision

The woman's bold decision resonated with many online, sparking an outpouring of support and validation for her stance on independence and self-respect.

One fan shared, "You sound pretty independent enough and plenty of men respect that. If he wants a version you cannot provide I am not sure what he is mad at. Incompatibility is real. You guys were incompatible. You will find your person. NTA OP."

Another wrote, "You are a strong, independent, intelligent woman. Never let anyone else make you feel anything less. You made a great decision. Best wishes for your future."

A viewer pointed out, "He wants you to give up everything while he sacrifices nothing and gains everything."

A follower commented, "NTA. Indian here. I would suggest you secure your job and reputation at your workplace. Let them know beforehand about his crazy ass and family. So that your job doesn't suffer if they try to discredit you in the workplace."

One stated, "NTA and more women should have your good sense!"

Another observed, "NTA. Girl, you dodged a *luxury prison*. It’s giving "rich guy energy but 1950s mindset," and you’re out here thriving with your six-figure salary and boss energy. Why throw all that away to be someone’s unpaid labor? The audacity of him and his family to think money = control over your life. Like, no thanks, sir. You're not leaving a millionaire; you’re leaving a guy who thought he could buy your dreams. Big difference. And the whole “family reputation” thing? Meh, let the aunties talk. You’ve already proven you’re capable of building your own life, gifting your fam vacations, and being an independent queen."

"So yeah, good on you for taking a stand. He wasted a year, but you’ve gained peace of mind. As for the relatives, let them know you’d rather be single and happy than stuck in someone’s golden cage," the user further wrote.

One explained, "They showed their controlling nature right off the bat. Imagine how they’d be after you marrying into the family, they would own you. Sounds like a nightmare waiting to happen. Good riddance. If the guy cared/cares about you at all, can’t you talk to him and to get his family to back off? Wtf did you even do besides disagree with their idea of being a 50s housewife."

This article contains remarks made on the Internet by individual people and organizations. MEAWW cannot confirm them independently and does not support claims or opinions being made online