'AITA for rejecting a guy without telling him I’m not attracted to him because of his weight?'

Rejection is never easy, especially on either side. But what happens when a polite "no" turns into an unexpected accusation?

One 23-year-old woman found herself in an uncomfortable situation after turning down a 25-year-old "overweight" man’s romantic interest, leading her to question, "Aita for rejecting a guy (m25) without telling him I’m not attracted to him because of his weight? on Reddit's popular forum 'Am I The A**hole' (AITA).

A friendly connection, or so she thought

The Original Poster (OP) began her post by stating, “I (23F) recently had to turn down a guy (25M), and he didn’t take it well. Now I’m wondering if I should have handled it differently."

The two met through mutual friends and shared enjoyable conversations. For OP, it was just the start of a friendship. For him, it seemed to be something more.

"I live a pretty active lifestyle—I work out regularly, eat healthy, and overall take care of myself. Naturally, I’m attracted to people who have a similar mindset. This guy and I met through mutual friends, and I genuinely enjoyed our conversations. He seemed like a nice person, and I thought we were just becoming friends. Then he asked me out," she wrote.

However, When he finally asked her out, she knew she had to be honest, but she wanted to do it in the kindest way possible.

She said, “I really enjoy talking to you, but I don’t see this going in a romantic direction.” A straightforward, gentle response—one that should have been enough. But it wasn’t. Instead of accepting her words and moving on, he demanded more.

“Why not? What’s wrong with me?” he asked. She stuck to her answer, reiterating, "I repeated that I just didn’t feel a romantic connection, but he wasn’t satisfied with that answer. He got annoyed and said I was just giving him a “bullshit excuse” instead of being honest."

The man's accusation

The man then persisted, “Just admit it, you think I’m too fat for you.” What started as an amicable conversation quickly spiraled into frustration. He accused her of giving him a “bulls**t excuse” and went on to claim that women like her never give overweight guys a chance. Then, he took it a step further—he called her "fatphobic."

At that point, "I realized there was no way to make him happy with my answer, so I just said, “I’m sorry you feel that way,” and ended the conversation.”

And with that, the conversation ended. But the situation lingered in her mind. "Now I’m wondering—should I have just been upfront about not being physically attracted to him? Would it have made things better or just worse?" OP pondered.

Internet weighs in: NTA

When she posed the question on Reddit’s AITA forum, responses poured in.

One Reddit user chimed in, "NTA. You let him down politely, and he pushed for a reason he didn’t actually want to hear. You don’t owe anyone attraction or a detailed explanation."

Another added, "NTA You were honest and kind in the way you turned him down, and his response to your respectful rejection is not your fault."

Someone else noted, "I'm a fat guy. I think you let him down easily, and even after he pushed you, you took the high road. NTAH."

A viewer remarked, "Fellow fat dude, you did nothing wrong. Nta. He sounds like it tho."

One comment declared, "NTA. He still would have been mad and called you fat phobic if you had said you weren't physically attractive. He needs to learn that no is a complete sentence, and it doesn't require an explanation or justification."

Another observed, "NTA. You tried to be respectful and let him down without making it personal. Attraction is subjective, and you don’t owe anyone a detailed explanation of why you’re not interested. He pushed you for a reason, then got upset when he assumed the answer he didn’t want to hear. It’s not fatphobic to have preferences, and you handled the situation the best you could. Being brutally honest about his weight wouldn’t have made things better—it probably would’ve escalated things more. You’re not responsible for managing his insecurities."

As one person explained, "NTA you did your best he should have accepted your polite rejection."

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