'AITA for reporting my husband’s brother and sister-in-law to CPS over the way they feed their child?'

A woman recently turned to Reddit's Am I The A*****e (AITA) forum to share her experience in a post titled, "AITA for reporting my husband's brother and SIL to CPS?"

The anonymous poster detailed her decision to report her husband's brother and sister-in-law to Child Protective Services (CPS) due to their neglectful treatment of their son’s diagnosed eating disorder, ARFID (Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder). 

The post quickly gained traction, earning thousands of upvotes and comments, with the majority of Redditors expressing strong support for her actions.

OP asks 'AITA for alerting CPS about my brother-in-law and SIL’s behavior?'

In the post titled 'AITA for reporting my husband's brother and SIL to CPS?', the OP explained the alarming situation surrounding her 7-year-old nephew. Diagnosed with ARFID in 2021 after three hospitalizations for malnutrition, the child’s eating was severely restricted by his parents. Despite medical advice, OP's brother-in-law and SIL dismissed the diagnosis, refusing to accommodate the child’s limited dietary needs.

The OP said, "He was labelled a picky eater by my husband's brother and SIL and they'd complain that he wouldn't even try most stuff they put in front of him and how he only ate three things roast potatoes, fries and crunchy bread rolls. Anything else he'd refuse to touch including all meat, fruits and vegetables."

"My husband and some of his family expressed concerns about how "picky" he was and suggested they seek help. But they said he was just an extra stubborn kid and they wouldn't allow him to eat those things and he'd soon eat better," she said.

"So they stopped offering him those three items but then he wouldn't eat. Some family would sneak him these items so he could eat something when it was clear depriving him didn't work. But when nephew's parents found out they stopped those relatives seeing him for a while and during that year he had the hospitalizations," she added.

When the child’s condition worsened in 2024, the OP and her husband made the difficult decision to report the parents to CPS.

“My husband and I were concerned about it and we agreed to report this to CPS because he was not doing good and when my husband spoke to his brother and SIL, they told him to mind his own business," the OP explained.

She said, "Nephew ended up in hospital soon after the report which brought the CPS report ahead and they intervened and they're still very much on my husband's brother and SILs case. They're angry and the rest of the family is shocked a report was actually made. They don't know it was us. We did the report anonymously and right now his brother and SIL are forced to attend parenting classes and had to meet with a specialist in ARFID to explain why they were wrong, etc."

The OP concluded, "Like I said they don't know it was us but my husband's SIL suspects it was me or that I was involved. She has made some pointed comments while looking at me about how clearly they aren't abusive when they still have their son. She said it was awful of people to try and involve CPS in something that's already a stressful situation."

"I feel like we did the right thing but I admit the negative reaction from everyone toward "whoever it was" has me wondering if it was wrong in some way or could have been better handled? AITA?" the woman asked.

Internet supports woman who reported in-laws to CPS for starving their child

One Reddit user wrote, “I'm surprised the hospital didn't report them (mandatory reporters) if the boy was hospitalized 3 times in one year for this. For all you know they did report it. Maybe "suggest" it could have been the hospital. Nothing good will happen if you confess. NTA because while I sympathize with the stress this must be in their lives they obviously need help."

Another user added, "They made it clear they needed to be forced not to neglect their child. Don't feel an ounce of shame, be proud. Them saying 'I haven't killed my kid so I'm not a bad parent' is horrifying. Be prepared to report again the second the mask slips again."

Another added, “Well just keep redirecting their suspicions towards the hospital. Next time she makes a comment like that respond with something like ‘Hospitals are mandated reporters, I’m sure it’s not personal."

"NTA. It seems like you and your husband are more concerned about that child than his actual parents. That child can't advocate for himself, so you stepped in. It is never wrong to try to protect a child who's being abused. You are definitely NTA," a user said.

Another user wrote, "Do not ever tell anyone that it was you; stick to the story that it was a previous therapist. Hopefully with more eyes on the kid he’s better able to receive the help he needs. NTA you absolutely did the right thing."

The sixth user wrote, "NTA. ARFID is a hard condition to treat. It takes a lot of time to learn to eat new foods. If the parents are not letting the child eat the safe foods, he will starve. They really need to follow the instructions of the therapist, or let him live with someone else.  With ARFID, he will starve himself to death if not permitted to eat his safe foods. I know a kid who had a problem with the textures of many foods. Her favorite thing was smooth milkshakes. No lumps. So her mom made smoothies many times a day. As long as it was blended smooth, she would drink it. Frozen fruits and veggies worked best. At meal time, it was 3 bites of two of the foods on her plate, then she got a smoothie. Over the years, she learned to eat many foods. Raw veggies still make her gag.  Mom and dad need to do better for their child."

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