'AITA for requesting mom of baby I nanny to stop popping in to visit frequently?'

The internet is showing strong support for a nanny who politely requested her employer to limit frequent visits to her baby while she was working from home.

The scenario was shared by the original poster (OP), on Reddit’s popular forum 'Am I The A**hole (AITA)'. The post quickly gained attention, garnering thousands of upvotes and hundreds of comments.

AITA for telling baby’s mom to limit her visits?

In the post titled, “AITA for requesting my nanny baby’s mom to stop popping in to visit?” OP detailed her predicament, explaining, "I just started nannying for a 6 month old as her mom started work again two weeks ago. She is a lovely woman who works from home upstairs while I watch baby downstairs. Baby and I are getting along great and mom likes to come down for nap time on her lunch and put baby down. That’s super helpful actually and works great."

However, OP expressed that what wasn’t working well was the mother’s tendency to come downstairs every hour to “pop in” and visit the baby.

According to OP, "What doesn’t work so great is that she comes down to “pop in” every hour or so, which creates a screaming fit when she inevitably leaves again after 2 minutes. It’s definitely not about not having trust in me, she has cameras in every room besides bathroom. It’s just that she misses baby. Which I get and feel for her! But it’s torture to deal with and baby gets soo upset."

After observing the disruption this caused, OP explained that she politely asked the mother to limit her visits to once or twice a day. "She said she would but had been cold towards me now. Was it wrong of me?" OP asked.

Internet sides with nanny who asked mom to stop visiting baby frequently

The post sparked a lively debate in the comments section, with the majority of users agreeing that OP was Not the A**hole (NTA).

One Redditor empathized with the mother but still sided with OP, "Oof. It sounds like she's going through it. NTA. The request you've made is reasonable and, most importantly, it is what's best for the baby. It may not feel good to her emotionally, but please try not to take her coolness personally. Hopefully, she’ll figure out how to cope with her feelings and settle into a better routine."

Another user offered a strategy for addressing the issue diplomatically, "NTA, but in the future, it would probably benefit you more to frame this as, ‘How can we solve this problem?’ rather than suggesting a direct change to your employer. It’ll make her feel more involved and less criticized."

Many commenters also noted the emotional toll that frequent disruptions can have on the baby, reiterating that OP’s concern was valid. One user wrote, "NTA. I was a FT nanny for infants. It's not an unreasonable request to ask Mom not to pop in every hour and cause a screaming fit when she leaves. She hears her baby crying, she knows what she's done. If she has cameras in every room but the bathroom, I'd say she definitely has trust issues, that is over the top especially when she's already also home and checking in every hour."

Another added, "NTA. But it clearly didn’t go well. So approach her as an adult. Apologize for being a bit insensitive. Then explain that the baby gets upset when she leaves and that was your primary concern. Then ask how you can work together to sort this out. Approach it as a team. Make this an us against the problem. The problem being the baby getting upset. You got this. Mom is new to this too. It will be ok."

"NTA. I’m also a nanny and I’ve had to address this before as well. Missing the baby is understandable but coming in and riling the baby up multiple times a day is selfish. Maybe you guys could work together to figure out the best times for her to pop in and visit. You could also suggest that she come and peek in while not alerting the baby to her presence. Baby is still small so I’m sure as time passes they’ll get used to the transition," a user said.

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