‘AITA for saying I’ll terminate pregnancy over genetic condition, leading my spouse to consider divorce?’
A pregnant woman is at the center of a heated debate after her husband considered divorce over their conflicting views on starting a family.
In a post on Reddit's popular 'Am I the A**hole' forum, the woman shared that she would choose to terminate her pregnancy if their child were diagnosed with a serious genetic condition, believing it would be unfair to bring a child into the world with such challenges.
Her husband, horrified by her stance, argued that every child deserves love, regardless of their condition, leading him to contemplate divorce. The intense disagreement sparked during a conversation about prenatal testing, has triggered widespread discussion among Redditors, who are weighing in on the emotional conflict.
A pregnant woman explains how her opinion differed from her husband’s over starting a family
A Reddit post by the Original Poster (OP) named 'Much-Lavishness', shared the predicament of a couple facing a major disagreement over starting a family.
The post began with the woman revealing, "A couple of weeks ago, I found out I’m pregnant. My husband and I had been talking about starting a family for a while, so this was supposed to be an exciting moment for us. However, during a conversation about prenatal testing, I told him that if we found out the baby had a severe genetic condition, such as Down syndrome, I would choose to terminate the pregnancy."
OP continued, "I also shared my belief that it is extremely selfish to knowingly bring a child into the world with serious medical or developmental challenges. To me, it would be unfair to the child, to myself, and to my husband."
She added, "Raising a child with severe disabilities is an enormous lifelong commitment, one that affects every aspect of a family’s life, and I don’t believe it is responsible to willingly choose that path when there is an option to prevent it, I also said that either raising a child like that or having an hereditary condition and choose to be pregnant (instead of adopting, for example) is extremely selfish as well."
OP then described her husband's reaction, saying, "My husband was horrified. He said he never realized I felt this way and that he couldn’t believe I would even consider terminating a pregnancy just because the child wouldn’t be “perfect". He accused me of being cold, pro-eugenest and lacking empathy, saying that every child deserves love regardless of their challenges. He also strongly disagreed with my opinion that people with hereditary conditions should think twice before having children, calling it an extreme and disturbing mindset."
The Redditor went on to explain how the disagreement has strained their relationship, writing, "Since then, things between us have been tense, and now he says he is seriously considering divorce. He told me that we have completely different values when it comes to family and that he doesn’t think he can stay married to someone who sees things this way. I was shocked that he would take it this far, but he says he doesn’t want to raise children with someone who believes in "selective" reproduction."
The post ended with a question: "I never expected this conversation to lead to such a massive rift in our marriage. I don’t see my stance as cruel, just practical and responsible. AITA for being honest about my beliefs, even though they are making my husband want to leave me?"
Redditors share advice after couple's disagreement over starting a family
Upon discovering the couple's disagreement over starting a family, several internet users quickly took to social media to share their comments.
One user wrote, "Maybe a good point to offer the husband “if there is an abnormality- do you commit to being the primary caretaker for life?” Watch how fast he says no."
One person commented, "Wow, that should have been discussed even before marriage. Those are 2 very different viewpoints and I can understand that this could break up a marriage."
One Redditor advised, "You are the responsible one knowing what you want. My uncle had two disabled kids and 4 other kids and abandoned them all."
A user wrote, "NTA I broke up with someone over this hypothetical conversation. I still am not sure if I overreacted, but parents need to be on the same page for this topic. I hope some kind of marriage counselling ASAP helps you."
A user shared, "NTA As someone with multiple disabilities that affect my every day life along with constantly being in pain, I fully support terminating a fetus if you know they'll have a condition. It's cruel to force that on a child and as an adult they will have to deal with thousands in medical bills."
This article contains remarks made on the internet by individual people and organizations. MEAWW cannot confirm them independently and does not support claims or opinions being made online.
