'AITA for saying no to washing my husband's clothes after he had a go at me post-surgery?'

The internet is rallying behind a woman who decided to stop doing her husband’s laundry after he criticized her over his football shirts just hours after she came home from surgery.

In a viral Reddit post titled “AITA for refusing to do my husband's laundry anymore after he had a go at me after surgery?”, OP (Original Poster) shared her frustration over her husband’s lack of empathy, leaving many readers stunned.

Woman says she is done doing husband's laundry after his post-surgery criticism

In the post, OP, a stay-at-home mom, explains, "I had gallbladder removal surgery yesterday, and thankfully all went well. They removed a massive stone and several smaller ones. I even got to take pictures. Coming around from the anesthesia was harder than I'd imagined but the doctor said it was quite normal to feel very tired and groggy afterward, they said this was quite normal. I was lucky enough to have my surgery in a private hospital funded by the NHS, so my staff was but I still couldn't wait to get home to see my children and sit on my own sofa, in my own house and watch my own TV."

When she arrived, she found the house messy, though she didn’t complain since her husband had been looking after the children and tackling a laundry backlog.

She wrote, "I got home quite tired and sore just before 7pm. The morphine has definitely worn off at this point and I haven't had anymore pain relief so I just want to sit down and relax and take some codeine and give my kids a cuddle. I walk in and the living room looks a mess which was annoying, but my husband had made sure my pillow was on the sofa like I'd asked for earlier, and it's hard work looking after three kids (10 autistic,6 & 2), they'd not long finished dinner (take away) and he'd been doing loads of laundry that had piled up since our washer broke and only got fixed the day before. I didn't say anything about it, it's not the end of the world."

But before she could even settle in, her husband immediately brought up an issue, OP explains, "I had barely sat down five minutes when my husband turns to me and says, 'oh I don't mean to have a go at you since you just got home from surgery but can you please STOP putting my football shirts in the dryer since it ruins them, I've told you before they can't go in there!'"

OP was taken aback and stated, "Is this really the best time to bring this up?? He even acknowledged that I just got home from surgery!!! And for the record I don't think it's wrong of him to not want his shirts ruined but really?! This is the time you're going to bring it up?! No, 'do you need anything? Do you need any medication? Are you comfortable? ' Nah, just 'my shirts!'. I don't remember putting them in the washing machine, or the dryer, and I don't remember folding one up when the dryer finished either so all I could say was sorry."

Though she apologized, she was frustrated that her husband’s first priority wasn’t checking on her comfort, but rather complaining about his shirts. She also pointed out that she honestly believed the shirts could go in the dryer just like he had ruined their daughter's school cardigan after repeatedly ignoring her instructions.

"I genuinely thought his football shirts were ok to go on the dryer, I absolutely swear I remember him saying last year they could go in and I'm usually pretty good about remembering what can be tumble dried and what can't. He's made mistakes too, I've told him a few times that our daughters school cardigan shouldn't be tumble dried. He completely ruined one, said he'd replace it and six months later still hasn't replaced it. If you live in the UK I don't need to tell you branded uniform items are not cheap," OP said.

Feeling unappreciated, OP finally snapped. "I was like, you know what? Do your own f**king laundry then, then if anything gets damaged that's on you. Don't have your stuff ready for work? That's your problem. And don't ever f**king bother asking me to iron anything either. But now I'm lying here at 5am wondering if I'm just being overly petty for the sake of it? I do do most of the laundry as I'm a stay at home mom and he does work all week long. AITA?" OP asked.

Internet supports woman who refused to wash husband’s clothes

One user wrote, "NTA. You are allowed to react to the self centered, disrespectful way he decided to talk to you about it. I would talk to him in the morning. Listen, your timing was s**t last night. I think you know that, or at least I hope that you know that when your wife just gets home from surgery, you should not be bringing up any of her tasks, chores, criticisms or things you think I could do better. Asking me to keep your football shirts out of the dryer is a reasonable request. One that should be asked for with kindness, gratitude for the fact that someone is doing your laundry, and at the right time."

The Reddit user continued, "For example, the next time you throw one in the wash, you say by the way love, could you not put my football shirt in the dryer? It is kind of ruining them and I want to keep them nice. That’s it. Nothing to it. You just have to be willing to not be the one who is the most important in the room. That’s all. That one statement made me feel unimportant, like all I am good for is doing the f**king chores, and even that I don’t do right. I’m sure that’s not what you meant for me to feel, but the way you did it and your timing brought it on. Please be more respectful in the future. I need to always know that you appreciate me like I appreciate all you do for us in this family. Then let it go."

Another user commented, "NTA. Girl, you just got out of surgery, and the first thing this man says to you when you walk in the door isn’t “How are you feeling?” or “Do you need anything?” but complaining about his damn football shirts??? Are you serious?? Sir, read the room. You were literally cut open less than 24 hours ago, and this man is more worried about a polyester shirt than his wife recovering from an operation?? That’s wild. And let’s not ignore the hypocrisy—he ruined your daughter’s uniform and never replaced it, but now he’s acting like you committed a crime against humanity for putting his shirts in the dryer by accident? Make it make sense."

"Honestly, you’re right. Let him do his own damn laundry. He’s a grown-a** man. If his football shirts are that precious, then he can take responsibility for them. If he wants his work clothes clean, he can handle that himself. You are not petty—you are setting boundaries. You are recovering, you deserve rest, and the last thing you need is a grown-a** man acting like his jersey collection is more important than your healing body. Stay strong, sis. Let him learn the hard way," the Redditor added.

"NTA. Your husband picked the WRONG time to bring this up, and his delivery was garbage. You should be concerned that his biggest concern in your most vulnerable moment is his t-shirts," a user said, while another wrote, "Exactly! The timing and his approach were way off. It’s like he totally missed the point of you being in recovery. He could’ve waited until you were feeling better to discuss laundry issues!"

Another user commented, "In my house, everyone does their own laundry. That way, no one can get blamed for ruining something or it not getting done. I did my kids laundry until they were tall enough to reach the controls on the washer and dryer. I would help them if needed, but the responsibility to get it done is theirs."

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