'AITA for serving my ex divorce papers at his job a day before he thought he was coming back home?'

The Internet is rallying behind a woman who served her former husband divorce papers at his workplace, just a day before he thought he would be returning home.

The dramatic story was shared by the original poster (OP) on a popular forum on Reddit, where thousands weighed in on whether she went too far.

Woman decided to serve her ex-husband divorce papers at his workplace a day before he thought he was coming back home

In her post titled, "AITA for serving divorce papers to my ex at his job the day before he thought he was coming back home?", the woman recounted the tumultuous history with her now-ex-husband, Ed, and why she ultimately chose to end their marriage in such a public way.

OP began, "I'm sorry, this is really long. Back story: I (59F) was married to my now ex (57M) we'll call him Ed for 10 years, together for 13, but originally met him 40 years ago as teenagers. He was in my circle of friends but we never dated. We used to live in Florida, but when I was 19 I moved back to Michigan where I am originally from. 27 years later I went back to the city in Florida where I used to live to visit friends. I ran into Ed while on vacation and we began talking on the phone daily. Three months later he left Florida and moved in with me. Three years later we were married. (Not my first but his first)."

"We had our ups and downs but mainly we got along fine and didn't argue much. He would throw tantrums if things didn't go his way and would 'punish me' by sleeping on the edge of the bed, which was fine with me or he would not talk to me and slam things," she added. 

Elaborating on the difficulties, the OP wrote, "Two years into our marriage things went horribly wrong when he got into drugs. It was horrible. One night I finally had enough and was on the phone with my MIL telling her I was sending back to Florida when the Sheriff's department knocked on my door. Someone had found my husband unconscious, severely beaten, in a ditch a block from our house. (We lived in a small village with woods across the street.)"

"I raced to the hospital and didn't recognize him when I saw him. He was so swollen and bruised. Now, my husband was a man who could fight and he was strong. Come to find out it took 3 men to do this. They thought they could rob him since it was pay day but he had been home and purposely left his wallet at home. I sat with him 24/7 while he was in Neuro/Trauma ICU. I slept on a couch in his room, I prayed over him, I bathed him and took care of him even after he came home. This actually saved his life. He got clean and went back to work full time, always putting me and my grandson first before his needs. He went to work and came home. That's it," the OP recalled. 

For a while, things seemed stable. But then, Ed’s behavior changed.

"For several years things were really good. Then suddenly he began coming home from work, showering, changing clothes and leaving. At first he said it was to watch whatever sports was playing on TV because we didn't have live TV. Then he told me he'd be back whenever he got back. Then, things went back to how they were. We laughed a lot, we joked around, and I began getting the usual kiss goodbye before he left for work," the woman shared. 

One December morning, OP woke up to find that Ed was gone. His keys were on the bed and his closet was empty. 

"One night, he had done his laundry, like he always did and I talked to him while he was folding it. He never wanted me to do his laundry so that wasn't new. We ended the night laughing as he was trying on old clothes," the woman shared. 

She continued, "The next morning I woke up and went out to the living room to ask what time he had to be at work but he was gone. I assumed he had to be there early. I walked back into the bedroom and saw his keys on the bed which made me wonder why he would walk to work on such a cold day. It was December 1st. I started leaving the bedroom again and noticed his laundry basket missing so I went to the laundry room and it wasn't there. I went back into the bedroom and noticed his closet empty."

OP soon learned that Ed had moved in with another woman he met through his job.

"I called him to see where he was and asked if he had moved out and of course his answer was yes. Come to find out he had met a woman at his job who works for one of those shopping apps where people buy and deliver your groceries. (He worked for a large grocery store chain) He had moved in with her. Over the next 6 months he called almost daily and would say things like 'Our marriage will survive this, just give me time' He even told me he would be mad if I began dating," the woman wrote. 

"During one of our phone calls he told me he wasn't happy with her and was going down to Florida to visit family. He said he wanted to come back to me when he came back to Michigan. The plan was this... He would pack things that he couldn't live without but leave things at his new gf's house to make her think he was coming home to her. He planned on giving his 2 week notice while gone and planned on looking for another job when he came home," the OP shared about her then-husband's intention to return to her. 

By this time, she had moved on emotionally.

"I knew I didn't want him back. I found my self worth again and had made new friends with neighbors once he was gone. Come to find out nobody liked him. Even the women at the gas station across the street told me how he flirted with them when he came in. Even an Elder at my church found out he was cheating but didn't tell me because she didn't want to hurt me," the OP noted. 

She went to the courthouse, got a divorce package, and filled out the paperwork herself. In her state, she could serve him the papers personally and she knew exactly where to do it.

"I decided that since he chose to end our marriage while working at the store, I would officially end it there. So, the day before he was supposed to fly to Florida. I made sure I looked really good. New hairstyle, make-up, and my outfit was sexy. I went to his job, found him, and handed him the divorce papers. I told him that he was wrong. Our marriage wasn't surviving this. You should have seen his face. He was actually upset with tears in his eyes and for a moment I felt bad. Then I reminded myself what he had done to me," the woman recalled. 

Reflecting on the difficulties she faced because of him, the OP wrote, "He didn't just leave me in the middle of the night, but he stopped talking and doing things with my grandson who thought Grandpa was the greatest. He left me in a house that I couldn't afford without him, and I would have been homeless if my church wouldn't have paid for an apartment. He told me women were stupid. He actually thought he could come home as if nothing happened. That was one thing he said to me on the phone because I never brought up the past."

Even after their divorce was finalized, Ed’s decisions continued to affect OP’s life. Six months later, her car was repossessed because Ed had taken out loans with their SUV as collateral and stopped making payments. When OP was asked if she wanted to pay off his debt to get her car back, she burst out laughing: "That will never happen."

She concluded the post, asking, "So, my question is was I the AH for serving him the way I did?" 

Redditors side with woman who served divorce papers to her cheating ex at his workplace

The woman who delivered divorce papers to her unfaithful ex-husband at his workplace has won the netizens' approval, with many praising her decisive action.

One wrote, "Wow, I can't believe he would still try and say the marriage would survive from the phone at his girlfriend's house. NTA." 

Another commented, "Wow.. the audacity of guys like him. 'I can go cheat, but I'll be mad as heck if you do!' and 'Her serving me divorce papers totally blindsided me!' 'Our marriage will survive.' HA! Rich. Like his marriage to you was HIS say alone. NTA."

Many users expressed disbelief at the ex-husband’s plan to return to her, with one saying, "Wow the AUDACITY him thinking tht after being w another woman he could just come back to you!!! He should be embarrassed!! Ur definitely not the asshole!! So glad you found yourself!!!"

"NTA - so glad that you stayed strong. You deserve better than him. Go live your best life and be happy," another comment read.

One even wondered why it took so long for OP to get a divorce. "NTA for serving him. My only question is why did it take you so long?" the person wrote. 

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