‘AITA for snapping at my husband’s friend for deliberately calling me by his ex-wife’s name?’

A 32-year-old woman has shared that she recently snapped at her husband’s friend since he “deliberately” called her by her spouse's former wife’s name.

Beginning her story on Reddit’s “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) forum, the woman, under the username LyraOO, wrote, “My husband (35M) and I have been married for two years, and everything has been great—except for his best friend, Jake (36M).”

“Jake is nice enough most of the time, but he has this habit of calling me by my husband’s ex-wife’s name, Laura,” she revealed.

Woman feels husband’s pal calls her by his ex-wife’s name ‘deliberately’

The original poster (OP) said that her husband divorced his first wife five years ago and she’s “never met her, but from what I understand, Jake was very close to her.”

The woman claimed that initially, she tried to handle Jake's “slips up” politely but “it kept happening, and now it feels deliberate.”

“For example, we were at dinner recently, and Jake called me Laura three times in one evening. Each time, I corrected him, and he just laughed it off, saying, ‘Old habits die hard,’” she said.

Woman shares her dilemma after calling out husband’s friend

But the woman could not take it anymore as she snapped at Jake and told him, “‘My name is [my name], not Laura, and if you can’t respect that, maybe you shouldn’t come around anymore.' He looked shocked, and my husband told me later that I embarrassed Jake in front of everyone.”

She claimed that she was now being accused of overreacting by Jake while her husband thought she “should’ve handled it more privately,” before asking, “Am I the jerk for calling Jake out in public?”

Redditors back woman for calling out her husband’s friend

People on Reddit supported the OP for calling out her husband's friend as he deliberately" called her by the name of her spouse's ex-wife.

A fellow Redditor commented, “NTA but your husband needs to correct Jake...by repetition, loudness level or putting in a time out by refusing to hang if he can't get it right. He is letting Jake be rude to you. It needs to stop.”

Another said, “NTA. You also have a husband problem. Why doesn’t he have your back? Why hasn’t he told Jake to cut it out? Every time Jake calls you Lauren, call him a rotation of names: Jason, Jay Dog, Mike, Steve… If he can’t be bothered to know your name, why should you know his?”

“NTA I get the vibe he’s doing it on purpose. Did he really not want your husband and Laura to separate? Even if he is just that dumb and it’s a mistake it’s happened enough times that you can say something. Your husband probably knows why he’s doing it and that’s the reason he’s avoiding addressing it," one person remarked. 

"But if I have to give him the benefit of the doubt are your names remotely similar? I had a friend that went from a long term relationship with a guy Woody to a guy named Will that goes by Willy. I’ve f**ked that up a few times. But I call him the right name most of the time and apologize the times I do mess up,” they added.

An individual posted, “It’s not a mistake. This is deliberate.”

Another added, “NTA. If Jake can remember how to tie his shoes, he can remember your name. You gave him multiple chances to get it right, and he kept doubling down on the disrespect. Sometimes a public call-out is the only way to reset someone's old habits.”

“NTA - he’s doing it in purpose and deserved to be called out. I’d be embarrassed being called by his exs name all the time in front of others repeatedly. I probably would’ve snapped long ago. He does it in purpose in front of people and LAUGHED when he was corrected," one Redditor said.

"That behavior is blatant. Why does he deserve privacy? He clearly doesn’t respect you and does it publicly. Tell your husband he needs to address this if he doesn’t like how you handled it. He should’ve addressed this long ago, so it’s his fault too,” they added.

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