'AITA for snapping at partner for asking me questions I cannot know?'

Nothing good ever happens at 3 am. That’s the unwritten rule of the universe.

But for one sleep-deprived soul, an early-morning wake-up call turned into a full-blown interrogation - as the Original Poster (OP) took to the Reddit forum, asking, "AITA for snapping at SO for asking me questions I cannot know?"

The great attic panic that leads to an investigation

"Woken up at 3am by a jumpy SO telling me there is someone in the attic," the OP shared.

If there’s one thing that can jolt a person awake faster than an alarm clock, it’s a partner whispering about an attic intruder. Groggy and disoriented, the narrator did what any rational person would - he checked the attic.

he wrote, "Get up rubbing my eyes and check the hatch which is closed, no ladder present below hatch means no one got in there from the hatch. I put my ladder there and check the attic, empty. Hear something running on the roof at this point, prolly a cat."

"Get down, SO is panicking asking what I saw, tell her nothing in the attic, something maybe on the roof. She wants to call the cops and is asking a 100 questions. Ask her to wait while I check it out to settle her down," he wrote.

To calm the storm, the protagonist took things a step further, patrolling the house like a security guard.

"I circle the house twice while shining a bright torch over the roof. Don't see anything there."

But evidence — rather, the lack of it — wasn’t enough. The questions started rolling in like an unsolvable true-crime podcast.

"Get inside house and explain I went around the house twice shining the torch on the roof. There is no one there. But I am bombarded with 'who was it then'? No one. 'who could it have been?' no one was there. 'what were they doing on the roof' I don't even know if someone was there. 'how could they have gotten up there' I don't know. 'how do you not know, take a guess' I don't think anyone was there, probably a cat running around."

"You need to go speak with the neighbors to see if they saw something while I call the cops' I am not going to wake the neighbors at 3am and you are not calling the cops, just go to bed. 'No you need to go speak with the neighbors because you don't know anything. You don't know who it was, what they were doing there, how they got up there."

A theoretical approach to the impossible

At this point, the hero had two choices: continue the cycle of questioning, or break out some absurdity to prove a point. He went with option two.

He wrote, "Listen, I don't know who was there. I cannot know this. I don't know what they were doing there, I cannot know this, I don’t know how they got up there. If you want to ask hypothetically, then maybe they flew there, they parachuted off a plane and landed there, maybe it was Spider-Man. I just don't know because I cannot know. I have walked around the house and found nothing. You think me waking the neighbor will solve the mystery even though he knows less than us?"

Apparently, this was the wrong move.

He said, "She is pissed off now saying it was a stressful situation and that I should have been cooperative and understanding of her feelings but instead I was a real asshole. No matter which way I look at it I can't think where I went wrong. I am not in the best moods at 3am."

Internet's verdict: NTA 

The internet had a field day with this AITA post as several comments sympathized with his exhaustion.

One Reddit user chimed in, "NTA. But I will say we heard a noise in our basement not too long ago. We thought it was maybe an opossum that got in and knocked something over. Nope! It was an actual human being. So I get being skittish. But yeah, her anxiety was ramping her up when there was nothing more to do."

Another added, "NTA. Turn it around: "Yes, it *was* stressful, so maybe YOU should have been cooperative and understanding that I don't have all the answers, and neither do you." Sheesh. Just because SHE decides that neighbours need to be disturbed and the police called doesn't mean that's an appropriate reaction. It's HER reaction, not yours. You are allowed to have differing opinions."

Someone else noted, "I mean I get what you’re saying and yes it escalated her anxiety, but only after OP had repeatedly said “no one was up there.” She was already anxiety spiraling and it’s not his fault. Also he was stressed at this point too, so are you saying he has to be 100% intentional and alert all the time to make sure she doesn’t spiral? She clearly has anxiety issues and that’s not on him at all. NTA. (OP please tell her to seek therapy)." 

A viewer remarked, "NTA. Hand her a flashlight so she can look herself. Then go back to sleep."

One comment declared, "NTA I would have told her it was a cat when she first asked if you saw anything so she's go to bed and be quiet. If I was the neighbor I'd be fuming if you came ringing my doorbell at 3am over that. How old is your wife? Is she normally this paranoid?"

Another observed, "NTA. Not sure what part of your answers was not satisfactory to her. Did she preferred you make up something up? Seems like she’s overreacting."

As one person explained, "NAH. No one is rational when in a panic nor when awakened in the middle of the night."