'AITA for telling my daughter that she has no say in my dating life after my wife's death?'

A man recently took to Reddit's popular "Am I the A**hole" (AITAH) forum to seek advice on whether he was in the wrong for telling his daughter that she has no business meddling in his dating life after his wife's death.

The post, titled "AITA for telling my daughter it’s none of her business if I date and I don’t care if it’s disrespectful to my late wife?" has drawn thousands of upvotes and reactions, with some siding with him and others expressing empathy for his daughter’s feelings, as per Someecards.com.

Man shares his daughter feels he is being disrespectful to his late wife by dating a new woman

The original poster (OP) begins by providing some backstory, explaining that his wife died from a terminal illness five years ago. His daughter, who was 17 at the time, struggled with the loss, and it took a major toll on her. 

"My wife passed away from a terminal illness 5 years ago. My daughter was 17 at the time, and it really affected her a lot as she was really close to her mom. I struggled a lot in the next few years. I had a lot of really dark thoughts, which I also shared with my sister, as my sister and I are really close. My sister supported me through my grief, but also encouraged me to start going out because she did not like the dark thoughts I was having," the man shared. 

Over the years, OP’s sister encouraged him to start dating again, hoping it would help him process his grief.

"I gradually started going out, and my sister encouraged me to start dating too, and said I have grieved a lot and I do not deserve to grieve the rest of my life. I went on a couple of dates from dating apps, but I still had a lot of grief and just wasn’t feeling it," he wrote.

Then, his sister set him up with Hailey, her childhood best friend.

"Hailey has always had a crush on me. I’ve known Hailey for years, but to be honest, I was shocked Hailey was interested in me. She is gorgeous and has a really sweet personality and I don’t know what she saw in me. Hailey and I started casually dating, but in just a couple of weeks, we realized there were really strong feelings, and we made our relationship official," the OP added. 

"It was the first time in a really long time I was feeling something other than grief. I was feeling happy and blissful. Hailey moved into my house a couple of months ago. I am still trying to take it slow, but Hailey just has a lot of strong positive feelings for me, I’ve never felt like this ever in my life," he shared. 

However, when OP finally informed his daughter about Hailey, it didn’t go as he had hoped. "My daughter was obviously not happy at all, which I understand," he recounted. 

Tensions escalated, especially during holidays as his daughter confronted him about the new relationship.

"When my daughter came over to my house for Thanksgiving and Christmas, she told me she did not like how Hailey and I were all lovey-dovey with each other. I tried to be understanding, but my daughter just kept insisting on how this was disrespectful to her mom’s memory," he shared. 

As the holidays passed, his daughter grew more vocal about how she felt their relationship was disrespectful to her late mother's memory. During a video call, the daughter expressed her frustration, crying about how OP's affectionate behavior with Hailey was hurtful to her, claiming it was disrespectful to her mother.

At that point, OP says he "snapped" and told his daughter that it was "none of her business if I date" and that he didn't care if it was disrespectful to his late wife. "I’m allowed to move on," the man added.

Immediately after the conversation, his daughter broke down in tears and hung up, leaving OP to question whether he was wrong for being so blunt.

Redditors divided over OP telling his daughter that his dating life is none of her business

The post received a flood of responses, with some supporting OP's decision to move on while others sympathized with the daughter's grief.

One said, "Jesus. She’s 22 not 12. It’s been 5 years. Dad is allowed to date and move on, and he doesn’t need his daughter’s permission for any of this."

Another user emphasized that OP has the right to date again, saying, "It is not disrespectful for him to have a private life that his daughter is only notified about when he is ready. Even though he has (an adult) daughter, he still matters too. Not everything is about her. She's 22. At what point is it her responsibility to grow up and regulate her emotions?"

"Why would a grown man ask his adult child's permission to do anything, let alone date? F**k that s**t. NTA," an individual wrote.

However, not everyone agreed with OP’s approach. One user pointed out, "You’re allowed to move on, of course… but do you talk to your daughter so rarely that you couldn’t have introduced the topic of your dating early, you could have mentioned you met someone special sometime BEFORE she moved in. It had to have been a shock to suddenly see some other woman (because that’s who she is to your daughter) in the house she grew up in, with you loving on her, a woman who is not her mother. You could have just been a little more kind to your child. YTA." 

Another pointed out, "Exactly. You're not wrong for dating and even falling in love, but that was a huge shock to your clearly grieving daughter. I'm sure that's why you avoided at least mentioning to her that you were starting to date again. You really need to apologize for her having to find out that way."

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