'AITA for telling my ex’s mom why we broke up after he spread false rumors about me?'

The Internet is backing a woman who took matters into her own hands after her ex-boyfriend spread lies about their breakup.

The situation was shared on Reddit’s popular "Am I The A*****e?" forum, a post that quickly gained traction with over 11k upvotes and hundreds of comments.

Woman reveals truth about her breakup to ex's mother

In the Reddit post titled, “AITAH for telling my ex’s mom why we broke up?” the original poster (OP), a 27-year-old woman, explained her reasons for revealing the truth about her relationship to her ex’s mother.

OP starts by recounting how she broke up with her boyfriend, a 33-year-old man, just days before Christmas. Despite the breakup, OP’s ex had not informed his parents about the split and instead told them that OP had missed the holiday celebrations because she was “sick.”

"I (27f) broke up with my boyfriend (33m) a few days before Christmas. His mom reached out to me right after Christmas saying she missed me and hoped I was feeling better and that she’d see me soon. I was supposed to go to his parent’s for Christmas, but obviously didn’t since I broke up with him. That’s when I realized that he must not have told them we broke up, and even lied that the reason I wasn’t there was because I was sick."

After realizing that her ex hadn’t told his parents about their breakup, OP contacted him, only to be told that it was none of their business. But when his mother reached out again before New Year's Eve, OP decided to tell her the truth.

"I reached out to him and told him. He said he hadn’t told his parents yet and it’s not their business. Fast forward to a few days before NYE and she texted me, asking if I was coming over to their family party. I told her no and said that we’d broken up. When she asked why, I told her to ask her son. He texted me flipping out saying that he’d already said it wasn’t their business and to leave his family alone. I told him that she was the one who reached out to me, and the only reason I told her was because I didn’t want her to keep texting me. I told him I didn’t tell her why, and told her to ask him."

The situation took a turn when OP’s ex began telling people that she was “crazy,” which upset her. Feeling hurt by the false narrative, she decided to tell a mutual friend the truth, including sending photos of her injuries from past abusive incidents.

"Last weekend I heard through a mutual friend that he was going around telling people that he broke up with me because I’m crazy. I was upset that he had to he nerve to be badmouthing me and lying trying to make me look like the bad guy when I was keeping my mouth shut on what really happened. In reality, he got black out drunk and got physical."

OP then sent the same photos and explanation to his mom, saying, “Just so you know the true reason we broke up, I heard he’s spinning the story against me. Your son is abusive and has hurt me on numerous occasions. I wish you the best but I wanted to clear up whatever he may have told you.” She was super apologetic and took my side. Then my ex blew up my phone flipping out, saying what happened between us is no one else’s business.

OP explained, "I had no plans on sharing that with our friends or his family but when I heard that he was calling me crazy I felt like it was only fair to say what actually happened. Did I cross the line though? I feel like maybe I was an AH in saying that to his mom, instead of just telling our mutual friend."

Internet sides with woman

The post sparked a huge debate, with many Redditors applauding OP for revealing the truth.

One user wrote, "Honey, the next time a boyfriend gets physical with you - file a police report. As you have unfortunately had to experience, it is VERY common for abusers to victim-blame and claim 'she's crazy'. You don't owe him your silence. He hit you - he lost his precious anonymity as soon as he got physical with you. I'd tell absolutely everyone you know the reason you broke up BUT BE CAREFUL because he will 'get you back' however he can."

Another user commented, "YOU HAVE PHOTOS!!!!!! NICE!!!!!! Girl, file that police report now. This isn't about unnecessary drama. This is about protecting yourself for when he claims that you are 'defaming' him to his friends and family by making accusations. I was in an abusive relationship. I told his mother and our mutual friends. I was sued for defamation because "if I was a victim of abuse, then why didn't I file a police report." They always blame the victim. Get hard evidence on your side like a police report."

Another user wrote, "Abusers best defense is lying and gaslighting. Been there. File a police report. You still can. Save his next potential victim. It doesn't matter what he tells people. Abusers always deny and lie. Document every contact from him and get a restraining order if you can. Hugs, OP."

"Sigh. These guys get away with this shit because, I’m sorry, folks like you “don’t want to cause unnecessary drama” My dear friend is raising her 4 grandchildren, all under the age of 7. None of his previous battered girlfriends wanted “unnecessary drama” either. My friend’s dead daughter, stupidly stayed with him and she never pressed charges either. He beat her so savagely this last time, she never regained consciousness. Took her 4 days to die. He’s free as a bird. No witness statement. No goddamned history of violence. Because none of his other victims wanted “unnecessary drama,” a user said.

"You would not be causing unnecessary drama, you would be protecting yourself and the women that come after you. He put his hands on you, what if he puts the next one in hospital? And then kills the one after that? You really should report it. And well done on having the foresight to take pictures," another wrote.

This article contains remarks made on the Internet by individual people and organizations. MEAWW cannot confirm them independently and does not support claims or opinions being made online.