'AITA for telling my girlfriend her clothes make her look like a homeless person?'

Reddit user Direct-Caterpillar77 recently took to the platform "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) forum to ask whether he was wrong for telling his girlfriend that her clothes made her look like a homeless person.

In a post titled "AITA for pointing out my girlfriend dresses like a homeless person and insisting she gets new clothes?", the 23-year-old man, who is finishing his master's degree, explained that his girlfriend Sarah, 20, grew up in an abusive household and came from a very poor background. As a result, she often wore tattered and ill-fitted clothes from Goodwill.

Man reveals his blunt comment about girlfriend's clothes led to major argument

Despite finding his girlfriend Sarah incredibly beautiful, the original poster (OP) admitted to feeling embarrassed by her appearance when they went out and shared that some of his friends and even his mother had commented on her clothing choices.

He recalled how his mother had said, “I didn’t know your girlfriend was actually pretty” after she wore a plain bathing suit.

To help Sarah, he decided to give her a $5,000 gift card to Macy’s for their first anniversary so she could buy a new wardrobe. However, when he gave her the card, he told her, “I basically admitted that her clothes make her look like a homeless person and wanted to teach her how to dress and give her a new wardrobe.”

The man further revealed that his girlfriend was deeply offended by his comment, and the situation escalated into a huge argument. She accused him of finding her unattractive and told him that “if I just wanted a trophy girl to look at, find someone else.”

He felt his reaction was justified, and, according to him, his friends agreed that Sarah’s over-the-top response was unwarranted. However, his sister suggested that he may have been insensitive in the way he approached the topic, calling him a jerk for bringing it up so bluntly.

After receiving criticism on Reddit, Direct-Caterpillar77 revealed a significant part of the story he hadn’t known before.

His girlfriend opened up to him about the trauma she had experienced. She revealed that until she was 18, she only had one outfit, and her parents were highly controlling, even making her take cold showers for “mental fortitude.”

Sarah confessed that she had never received guidance on how to dress and had no idea what looked good on her. She had bought clothes she thought were neat but didn't realize they didn’t fit properly or look presentable.

She explained that she never felt that she would ask for help, adding that she just assumed one shirt and one pair of pants could make up an outfit, regardless of how worn out the clothes were.

When the OP pointed out that her style was “strange,” Sarah became defensive because she had never been confronted with this issue before.

She admitted that she thought her style was average, and when he previously tried to subtly hint at her dressing differently, she thought it was just the specific outfit that was the problem.

The couple decided to go shopping the next day to buy Sarah new clothes. The OP apologized for how he had approached the situation, acknowledging that he could have been more tactful.

His girlfriend assured him it was okay as he added, "She probably wouldn't have gotten the hint if I kept being around the bush."

Redditors slam OP for lacking empathy in his approach to addressing his girlfriend's appearance

Many Reddit users were quick to criticize the OP for his harsh approach to addressing his girlfriend's appearance. They felt that instead of directly criticizing her clothing choices, he could have handled the situation with more empathy and tact.

A fellow Redditor said, "OOP could have just said it was to buy her some new work clothes when she graduated and taught her to dress nicely or asked his mom or other female friend to help. OOP didn’t need to be nasty about it but he kinda was and I bet that came off in his confrontation to her."

Another added, "When he’s describing why he loves her, he doesn’t mention a single thing about her actual person. Just what she does for him. 🚩"

One commentator remarked, "Him claiming to be "upper middle class" and then saying his parents gave him $50,000 as a gift made him immediately untrustworthy to me."

"He just talks about her so unkindly. Also notice that he didn't apologize to her and she's the one who had to go the extra mile," another said while criticizing the OP.

One person declared, "OOP is a liar. Ppl endlessly talk to him about it yet she's never ever noticed any judgement from others."

Another individual asked, "If someone looked homeless would you risk embarrassing them further by pointing out the state of clothes?"

This article contains remarks made on the Internet by individual people and organizations. MEAWW cannot confirm them independently and does not support claims or opinions being made online.