'AITA for telling my girlfriend that her friend is too ugly to date my good looking friend?'
A Reddit user recently sought help from the online community after indirectly calling his girlfriend’s friend “too ugly” for his handsome friend to date.
Taking to the AITA section of Reddit, the 29-year-old man asked, “AITA for telling my girlfriend that her friend is too ugly for my friend?”
He shared that he has been together with his 28-year-old girlfriend for the last eight months and “it has been amazing". However, a problem arose in the couple’s paradise when the author’s girlfriend chose to set up one of her friends (Sue), with one of the OP’s friends (Mike).
Redditor asks whether he is wrong for saying the match was wrong
Taking to Reddit, the OP (original poster) shared that both he and his girlfriend have met each other’s friends “and they all got along great.”
“We are all hanging out together for the first time this weekend,” shared the author, before noting, “The issue is that my gf has told one of her friends, let’s call her Sue, that she thinks she would be perfect for one of my friends, let’s call him Mike.”
Moreover, his girlfriend has reportedly worked Sue up into believing that there is a real chance of her with Mike. “She has told her this multiple times, shown her pictures of him, and gotten her all excited,” shared the OP, before declaring, “My problem with this is that I don’t think they are a good match at all.”
He reasoned, “Mike is a very good looking guy, in great shape, is 6’2” and is a lawyer. He has always dated very conventionally attractive women,” while adding why he thought Sue was not the right choice for Mike.
Though he admitted that he “really” liked Sue, “she is just not very conventionally attractive,” before adding, “She is overweight and just doesn’t put much effort into her appearance in general.”
“My GF has mentioned this potential match to me a few times, and I’ve always just kind of brushed it off with a “we’ll see” or “you never know” hoping it would just fizzle out, but after we made plans to all hang out and after I found out she has been telling Sue about it, I felt like I had to say something to her,” continued the OP.
He admitted that neither did he “want Sue to get her feelings hurt,” nor he wanted “to put Mike in an awkward situation.”
Thus, he told his girlfriend about his beliefs, which ensued a fight between the duo.
“I told my girlfriend I think she should not try to set them up together, and to just leave it alone, and if something happens between them, great, but not to push it. When she asked why, I said I just don’t think they are a comparable match looks wise, and that I think Sue would get her feelings hurt,” shared the OP.
He also made it clear that he didn’t think Mike and Sue would match “personality wise", “since he is super active and she is much more of a home body".
“This caused a big fight (our first real fight) where she accused me of thinking my friends were better than her friends, asking who else I thought was “ugly” etc,” shared the OP, about his interaction with his girlfriend.
He confessed, “I was genuinely just trying to avoid an awkward situation, but I might have made it worse,” before asking his fellow Redditors, “Should I just have kept my mouth shut and let it happen?”
Internet divided over OP's stance
The Redditors were divided into two categories with a few Redditors declaring everyone was problematic. However, some of them also declared the OP to be NTA, citing he tried to diffuse the situation before it was escalated.
One of the Redditors said, "ESH. I told my girlfriend I think she should not try to set them up together, and to just leave it alone, and if something happens between them, great, but not to push it. When she asked why, I said I just don’t think they are a comparable match. And that is where you should have ended that final statement."
"ESH - No one should be setting anyone up. Your gf needs to stop interfering. It’s not necessary for you to police whom might find who attractive, either," shared someone else.
Another social media user chimed in, "DUDE!! Of course you should have kept your mouth shut! In what world would that ever go over well? NONE. You need to warn Mike about what your gf has in store for him. Then keep your mouth shut about it. Avoid the topic. Period."
"ESH," declared someone before elaborating, "your GF shouldn’t be trying to force a match, but you also don’t have the right to decide if Sue isn’t good enough for your friend. let people handle their own feelings, she’s an adult and can deal with any crush disappointment herself. you’re overstepping too, no need to ‘protect’ anyone here."
Meanwhile, another user advised, "Ask your GF why she thinks they’d be a good couple, what she thinks they have in common, etc. Then if she doesn’t agree that she should stop trying to play matchmaker, you warn Mike. Then you let it play out. If your GF wants to keep setting her friend up for (likely) failure and heartbreak, that’s on her."
"NTA," said another user, before explaining, "purely because your gf and Sue worked themselves up about a guy who doesn't even know Sue exists, and were making all kinds of plans involving him without his knowledge. I'm sorry but that's creepy no matter who Sue is or what she looks like. If you've decided you're so into someone who you've never met or spoken with that you'd be genuinely hurt if they didn't immediately want to date you, that's parasocial and weird. If my bff's boyfriend and his friend did that to me I'd tell them to get out of my face and go to therapy, and I wouldn't feel too supportive of the relationship after that."
This article contains remarks made on the Internet by individual people and organizations. MEAWW cannot confirm them independently and does not support claims or opinions being made online
