'AITA for telling my mom the truth about my dad misusing child support meant for me?'

Not every family is flawless. Generational differences, personal issues with socially awkward family members, or simply someone's inability to let go are some of the reasons. In any event, no family is perfect.

This is also the case with Reddit user National-Actuary7478, who posted his story on the 'Am I The A*****e' (AITA) subreddit and asked if it was wrong to tell his mother the truth that his father has not been using the child support she paid for him.

OP shares how his father wasn't spending child support meant for him

Taking to the open forum, the 17-year-old Original Poster (OP) shared that his mother met with an accident when he was 14 years old, that left her "disabled."

The OP added that his mother had a "long recovery" ahead of her and would "need a lot of help herself," so his parents "decided it would be for the best if my dad had custody of me."

Sharing the child support thing, the OP added: "My mom paid child support to my dad for me. Only it was never spent on me. It went on his stepkids. He saved it for them and never used it on me even when I did need money for things."

According to the OP, his father forced him to "overdraw" his school lunch account and then refused to pay the remaining amount, so he had to "do it with money from my grandparents."

"Even though he was the one who last minute said we had nothing for me to take a lunch from home because his stepkids were getting more for theirs because it wasn't enough," the OP said.

His father wouldn't pay for the supplies he required for a school assignment. "I wasn't allowed to get a haircut even though the stepkids, my dad and his wife all got them whenever," he added.

According to the OP, his father's current wife had her hair done every other month, and his stepdaughter had highlights on her birthday. "I got way less than the stepkids for food too. Lots of stuff like that was going on while I was there," he said.

There were many such things, and the OP said that he didn't want to annoy her mom when she was still "deep in recovery." Eventually, though, he informed her since she was not spending her "disability money for my care for it to go to kids who're nothing to her."

The OP expressed: "My mom was so pissed and so were my grandparents. I moved in with my mom and my grandparents moved in with us so my dad couldn't fight against us. Then she got the courts involved and they didn't like it."

The court eventually determined that OP's father should repay the amount as he was "abusing" it and failing to support his as required by the court order. "He only got away with it because mom didn't see me as much as she otherwise would have," he added.

Detailing his father and stepmom's fury, the OP noted that they "pissed at me for doing it when one of the stepkids has a long term medical issue."

They said that the OP might have been more understanding and that he was old enough—16 at the time he informed his mother and moved back in with her—to understand that medical concerns come first.

Concluding his post, the OP said: "They said it benefitted my family and I might not have got a comfortable time there but I got enough. My mom said the stepkids got enough though and that's why I wasn't wrong. But my dad and his wife accused me of acting out of spite. AITA?"

Reddit community supports OP for revealing his father 'mistreated' him

The post generated a flurry of comments, most of which criticized the father's actions and agreed that the original poster was not the a*****e (NTA).

One user said, "NTA. No matter what his reasons were, that money was for your care and he wasn't using it on you. It's very simple. Childsupport is for the child of the person paying the support money. He was abusing it, so he loses it."

A second user noted, "NTA You aren't the only person who thought your father was mistreating you. Your mother, grandparents, and even the courts agreed that he wasn't being a good father. And, if this is about benefiting family, why were you the only one not seeing a benefit?"

"NTA the money your mom paid was to support you, no-one else. Your stepmom should have went after your stepsibling's bio dad for child support," another added.

One noted, "NTA - it isn't your or your mom's responsibility to take care of another child's medical issues while you don't even have enough money for school lunches."

Another said, "NTA. He has failed abysmally at being a father. You can tell Mr & Mrs AH that forcing someone to take responsibility and make restitution for their appalling thievery is not being vindictive, it's justice. You were were being robbed and neglected (this is abuse) by the parent who should've been protecting you. Glad you got out."

"NTA, your dad and his wife are thieves; what makes it worse they stole from your mom who was disabled. Your dad and his wife can get second jobs, go after the stepkid’s bio father for child support and stop spending on luxuries like expensive hair treatment for his wife and stepdaughter," added one.

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