'AITA for telling my parents I'll send them to care home after they said they want to move in with me?'

Regardless of how depressing it may be, everyone will eventually age and require assistance or care from others. These individuals may be friends or acquaintances, but in later years, parents typically turn to family members for support, particularly their grown-up children.

However, these very grown-up children may already be dealing with a lot of their own issues. Sometimes, they might be willing to lend a hand, but not always at the expense of their personal comfort.

This was the case with a Reddit user called Perfect-Orchid7421, who took to the platform's popular "Am I the A**hole" (AITA) forum to ask whether she was wrong for not letting her elderly parents move in with her.

OP shares how parents 'loved' her older brother and 'tolerated' her

In a Reddit post titled "AITA for being upfront and telling my parents that I am putting them in a home?", the original poster (OP) expressed how her parents put up with her because they loved her older brother.

"My family is from South Asia but we live in the States. My parents loved my older brother and tolerated me. They expected me to just stay home and take care of them and my brother," the OP shared.

She then revealed that she received a GTFO and a half scholarship to a public university. She was also lucky enough to receive a full scholarship for her postgraduate studies after working during her four years of undergraduate studies.

"So I graduated university with only a small debt and two degrees. I found a career that I really enjoy and a husband who loves me," the OP added.

The OP's brother was quite successful and his education was funded by her parents. However, he decided to have five children. They all attend private schools and participate in a variety of extracurricular activities.

Moreover, her brother's wife was a "stay-at-home mom" despite having a nanny. "I know five young children would be difficult to manage. I'm just saying that she has a degree as well but they have chosen to be a one income household," the OP added.

The OP shared that she and her husband would be having their first child after waiting for several years to start a family. "We will be stopping at two and my husband will be getting a vasectomy afterwards. We are very much in agreement about our future," she said.

OP refused to let her parents move in with her

Meanwhile, the OP's parents decided to sell their house and move in with her family. "We have a large property with an in-law suite in a HCOL (high cost of living) city on the west coast," she added.

Expressing her desire not to let her parents move in with her, the OP said, "I told my husband that I did not want them living with us and he concurred. So I told them no."

"They said that they already listed their home and that a dutiful daughter would take care of her parents in their old age," she added.

The OP promised that she would locate them a wonderful retirement home and take care of their bills until they died if they handed her all the money from the sale of their house.

However, the idea did not sit well with them and they said it was expected of her and that the OP was an ungrateful child. However, the OP sent her parents a check for a year's worth of groceries, utilities, rent, and other expenses.

She said, "I said I moved out one year after I turned 18 and that they were responsible for me up to that point. I then told them not to contact me again without going through my lawyer."

Explaining her dilemma, the OP noted that she had been playing "whack a mole" and blocking her parents who were trying to contact her. "And all of the family members both in the States and back home that are calling me an a**hole," she said.

She added that her brother got in touch with her and accused her of ruining the family's reputation by refusing to take their parents in. The OP offered him the "choice of either taking them in himself or never bringing it up to me again or I would be going NC with him as well."

Turning to the Reddit community, the OP sought advice on whether she was too "harsh" for turning her parents down or did it make her an "a**hole."

The OP further mentioned that her parents disliked her marrying someone who was not part of their culture and faith, too. Therefore, even though the parents attended their wedding, they did not contribute.

Internet backs OP and calls her 'freaking heroic'

The Reddit community largely supported the original poster with many others concurring that it was appropriate for her to not let her parents move in with her.

One social media user backed the OP and wrote, "NTA - DNA doesn't entitle anyone to anything you don't want to give."

Another exclaimed, "NTA. Girl, you’re handling your s**t like a champ! You’re freaking heroic!"

One impressed Redditor wrote, "NTA. I am very impressed with the hard line boundaries you set up so quickly and I have a feeling you will have no problem keeping them. As to the rest of the family, as you have stated, they are welcome to open up their homes and or wallets and house them if they feel so strongly about the family "image". Seriously impressed."

"NTA. But don't be surprised if they just show up and try to force this," another remarked.

One person commented, "NTA- your parents had no problem not supporting you but somehow expect the world from you without even asking. It's mind boggling that they just assumed they would move in with you. Your parents should use the money from the sale of the home to build a suite on your brothers house and then everyone should be happy."

"NTA. I'm jealous of your diamond spine. You are putting boundaries and the parents do not like it. Good reaction to your brother's involvement as well," added another.

This article contains remarks made on the Internet by individual people and organizations. MEAWW cannot confirm them independently and does not support claims or opinions being made online.