'AITA for telling my partner his friend can't use our home bathroom anymore?'

A woman recently took to Reddit’s popular "Am I the A**hole" (AITA) forum to share her dilemma over letting her partner's friend use their bathroom.

The 26-year-old, under the username coconutXboy, began, "My partner (30M) has two friends and business partners (also 30M) who come to our house a few times a week to work, hold meetings, etc. The office they use is downstairs and has a bathroom, which is also our only common-area bathroom."

She added that it's also the bathroom she and her partner frequently use. "9 times out of 10, my partner and I are using this bathroom and it is the only bathroom that other guests use when they come over," the original poster (OP) wrote. 

Woman blames her partner's friend for sewer-like odor in their bathroom

The woman is now reluctant to let one of her partner's friends use their bathroom as "every time that one of these guys comes over, our bathroom smells like a fishy sewer for days afterward." She explained, "We keep re-caulking the toilet but it doesn't even matter because the next time he comes over, it's back."

The OP went on to mention that her partner's friends are "significantly heavier" than them and that "one of them lived with us for the better part of a year and we never had this issue."

Hence, she deduced that "Friend #2" must be doing something causing the smell. 

The OP further noted, "My partner feels uncomfortable saying anything to him about it (understandably) but we are both disgusted even standing in our own bathroom. It feels dirty and nauseating and takes days for the smell to fade." 

"WIBTA if I banned him from using our home bathroom? WIBTA if I put a sign up in the bathroom indirectly addressing the issue??" the woman asked her fellow Redditors. 

Ending her post, the woman shared that they had asked a plumber to come and check the issue.

She added, "This man does not smell otherwise so it's not a hygiene thing. We are not aware of any medical issue (doesn't mean it doesn't exist). And it's not clearly a poop smell or pee smell. It's distinct. We don't think he's wiping out the bathroom every time he comes over."

Redditors advise OP to get a professional to look at the toilet

Redditors didn't agree with the woman's thoughts on "banning" the friend from using their bathroom, with many saying that there are better ways to handle the situation. 

One wrote, "I think the best way to handle this is for your partner and his friends/coworkers to find elsewhere to work, hold meetings, etc. If you want to approach it gently, just tell them you're having work done on your bathroom and can no longer host. Can't they meet at a coffee shop? Can't one of the other people host now? Sad to say, if you proceed forward with your plan as it stands, YWBTA."

Another commented, "YTA: You have a problem with your bathroom that you need to get fixed. The plumber may find a dangerous issue like sewer gassing seeping in. The guest who did whatever he did may have save your life by exposing the problem. Bottom line (pun intended) if your toilet can't be used by certain people it is the toilet's fault, not the person's fault."

"YTA. Look, I get it. And you are not wrong for wanting your bathroom to not stink for days afterward. But there is an unmitigated level of A-holery here in thinking that you can ask a guest in your home to not use the bathroom. Do I think that Friend 2 is the problem? Yes. Does that mean Friend 2 is the BLAME? That's a tougher question. There are a ton of medical and biological reasons why Friend 2 may stink up the place. I will point out that if it's just the bathroom afterwards, and the smell doesn't permeate the basement while he's there, it could be something he is actively doing. But odds are that talking about this is just going to embarass everyone and generate tension. And that's under the assumption that it IS Friend 2 and not something that has changed for Friend 1. It's also under the assumption that is IS actually these friends, because you say they come a couple of times a week and the smell lingers for days... so when does your bathroom NOT smell? So, why are you still hosting these meetings?" one pointed out. 

They added, "The home office might be nice but it comes with this kind of issue. The people you invite over are going to need to use the facilities. You might want to consider a co-working space or a bookable meeting space with public facilities. You would be within your rights to talk to Friend 2 about it, if you want that hassle. But it is likely to be embarrassing and fraught, and either the conversation or the ban runs the risk of making waves with your business partners that can have real ramifications aside from your social life."

"YTA - Get a professional to look at the toilet. There are also ways around this other than telling not to use the bathroom. Just buy ‘Just a drop’ and put a sign in the bathroom to make sure everyone uses it. No matter what he drops in there it won't smell," someone else suggested. 

"YWBTA to tell him to not use it anymore while he literally works in your home. YWNBTA if you (or your husband) just brought it up to him? Asked what is going on? Idk that’s a tough situation. Get a strong air freshener? Or find another place to work," a comment read.

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