‘AITA for treating husband the same way he had treated me during my hospital stay?’

A woman recently turned to Reddit's "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) forum to ask if she was wrong to treat her husband during his medical condition in a manner similar to how he had treated her during her hospital stay, per Someecards.

With more than 400 comments and over 6.3K likes, the post has attracted a lot of attention from Reddit users who were debating whether the woman was wrong for not prioritizing her husband's request or if she was justified in "giving him a taste of his own medicine".

Wife treats husband 'the same way he treated' her

In the post titled "AITA for treating my husband the same way he treated me when I was in the hospital?" the OP (original poster) shared the details of mistreating her husband saying, "When he had a medical issue I decided that he should be treated the same way he treated me."

Sharing her story, the woman wrote, "My husband recently had a kidney stone and two trips the ER. I have had health problems my self and have spent many times in the ER and have been hospitalized too."

The OP revealed that she had to visit the emergency room because she was feeling very ill, throwing up, and experiencing excruciating stomach pain. "My husband said I probably just had a stomach bug. He was upset cause he had to get up early in the morning for work," she added.

The woman shared that her father-in-law came to the hospital to give her a ride home. She wrote, "Before my husband left, the ER doctor came in and said I needed immediate surgery. Turns out I had a bad obstruction."

"I spent two weeks in the hospital. During that time my husband barely came to see me. I asked if he could bring me some soup from the Thai restaurant across the street (because the food at the hospital was really really bad.) he said no," she continued.

The OP revealed that her husband would pick up the remote control and watch one of his news programs when he came to visit. "He would also lower the temp in the room to his liking," she added.

"He could have taken off from work but he didn’t. My father in law came to visit almost every day," the woman detailed.

Consequently, the woman decided to treat her husband the same way he treated her when he had a medical condition. She wrote, "I went and visited, changed the channel on the TV, played on my phone etc. unfortunately only the nurse could adjust the temp in the room."

"But I did bring him underwear and socks. He wanted me to bring him food, I said no. He wanted to go to a restaurant on the way home, I said no," she noted.

The OP explained: "Soon as we got home, I changed clothes and then went out with my girlfriends for delayed birthday outing. I spent my birthday with him at the ER."

"He complained that I was leaving him to go out. But now apparently I’m selfish for treating him this way. During his time in the hospital not once did I complain to him," she wrote.

The OP shared that she attended classes at the nearby university besides working two jobs. "I was able to take off work with no problem and was able to get an extension on my assignments that were due," she noted.

Turning toward the online forum for opinion, the OP asked whether she was an 'AITA' for giving her husband a "taste of his own medicine?"

OP shares update on her husband

The OP later returned to the AITA forum to provide an update on the aforementioned situation by saying, "I confronted him, he apologized. He said he thinks it’s weird that people come visit others in the hospital. I personally think it may have something to do with his mother."

He had visited the hospital on occasions when the family was called in because a relative was terminally ill. "I was wrong to treat him this way," she noted.

She added, "When he got sick, I made him go to the ER. I stayed there the entire time, didn’t complain that I had to go to work. I helped set him up once we were back at home and moved my work meeting to virtual instead of in person."

"I did the same with my clients. I also apologized for being an AH but also admitted that I was still angry," she concluded her lengthy post.

Woman sparks debate for giving husband 'taste of his own medicine'

The OP's post led to a discussion on the forum about whether she had done the right thing in treating her husband just as he had treated her when she was hospitalized.

One user called the OP an NTA and wrote, "NTA. Now, I KNOW ppl are gonna be like, “omg! Wah! You both are awful people and this is gross!!” But honestly? I loathe it when partners downsize the others pain, but once it comes to them being in pain/sick, they expect their SO (who they neglect) to take care of them with the utmost care. Some people need to be treated like this so they can get a hint and change. They either realize their sh!tty ways, or you pack up and leave because they choose to stay the same. We don’t know WHY OP is with their partner or how much they love each other. Regardless, I think OP is valid right now."

A second user added, "ESH for being mean and petty to each other. Why are you married to someone you don't even like?"

"ESH. Do you guys even like each other anymore? Why are you married?" enquired a third user.

Another called the woman an NTA and said, "NTA, but it's not a good strategy for improving your marriage. Does your husband have any redeeming traits? Do you want to stay together?"

"ESH Was there no time in between these two hospitalisations for you to discuss the way he behaved, for him to apologise and make it up to you, and for you to both move on? He was shitty but why the revenge arc? Do you to mistreat eachother and take revenge often? Why no divorce?" asked one user.

Another wrote, "NTA, but it wasn't an easy decision. The fact is you know you were behaving like an a**hole because you were deliberately getting back at him for the way he treated you when the roles were reversed. I honestly don't understand why you stay on a marriage where you have no respect for you husband, and a as a result you seemingly have no respect for him. I do think your FIL is a real gem, however, and maybe that is reason enough."

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