'AITA for wanting to break up with my BF as he wanted his daughter to sleep in our room during trip?'

A 39-year-old woman took to Reddit to seek advice from other users after her 40-year-old boyfriend ruined their road trip plan by secretly inviting his daughter and also broke her heart after telling her he wasn’t “attracted” to him.

Taking to the social media platform’s 'Am I The A**hole' (AITA) forum, the original poster (OP) wrote, “My boyfriend and I took a road trip to celebrate my career milestone. I cut it short after 4 days and I'm currently leaning towards ending our relationship.”

OP's boyfriend came late to the trip and did not pay for fuel

In the post titled "AITA for wanting to break up with my boyfriend after he wanted to get his daughter to sleep in our bedroom during our road trip and never told me that she was spending the night?", the woman said that the trip was originally planned for 12 weeks, and she and her boyfriend decided that she would cover “the accommodations and he would cover meals and fuel.”

On the day of the departure, the woman, who uses Perfect-Lifeguard-86 as her username, claimed that her boyfriend did not come at the decided time, which was 6 am.

“He didn’t show up until early in the afternoon after constantly telling me that he was already out of his house but then I had to call him because it doesn't take hours to get to my place,” she shared.

The OP noted that “by the time he showed up, I was furious and frustrated. We stopped for gas and he went to the public restroom and said to just fill it up ( on my dime) and he would take care of whatever else had to be purchased next time. He only covered one meal that day and complained when I wanted some snacks.”

OP's boyfriend invites his daughter to their trip without informing her

The OP then said that on the third day of their trip, her boyfriend went to “pick his daughter up( 17F). I agreed, as we had talked about her spending most of the day with us.”

However, the woman said she was shocked to see that the teenager “was carrying a backpack and found out ( while driving) that he had invited her to stay with us ( in our bedroom, without even asking me). I tried not to make a scene but I'm sure my face said it all.”

The woman even told her boyfriend separately that he should get another room for his daughter but he got angry and “accused me of being two-faced and faking loving his kid.”

The OP felt ‘very disrespected’ by her boyfriend

The woman's boyfriend, however, took a separate room. But he spent “the night with his kid and slammed the door. I spent a horrible night both hoping that he would come back to work things out and feeling both guilty and very disrespected,” the woman said.

The next morning also things did not change as the Redditor shared that “he gave me the silent treatment. I tried to talk to him and he low-key barked at me that I ruined everything and that I killed all his attraction for me.”

Eventually, the woman “drove his daughter back to her grandparents and kept driving back home and when he asked where I was going, I said the road trip was canceled. I left him at his house and drove back for the rest of the trip but didn't enjoy it at all.”

She said that she received multiple calls from her boyfriend but she did not pick up. Also, she noted that she’s “very confused. We've had arguments like the next couple, but never like this.”

“I'm rethinking and trying to figure out if not allowing his daughter in our bedroom was an insult or what. I'm also pissed that maybe he wasn't planning on honoring our agreement since I had to push him and remind him to buy our meals and fill up the tank. AITA?” the woman asked.

Reddit users call woman’s boyfriend manipulative

Fellow Redditors took the woman’s side and said she wasn't the "a**hole" for wanting to break up with her "manipulative" boyfriend over all the things that transpired on the trip.

One user wrote, “NTA Your boyfriend's actions show a pattern of disrespect and lack of communication. He made major decisions (like inviting his daughter to stay overnight in your shared bedroom) without consulting you, which is a boundary issue. His reaction anger, silent treatment, and accusing you of being two-faced was unfair and dismissive."

"Add to that his disregard for financial agreements during the trip and showing up late, and it’s understandable why you feel frustrated. You’re not obligated to stay in a relationship where you feel disrespected or unimportant. Trust your instincts,” they added.

Another said, “NTA. You don't mention how long you have been with him, but his behavior was really obnoxious. Does he usually behave this way!?”

One person commented, “NTA. WHO invites their 17 year old daughter to stay the night , and doesn’t get an extra room ? He’s tossing red flags at you!”

Another wrote, “NTA. Girl, he turned your career milestone trip into ‘The Adventures of His Ex-MIL, Daughter, and Budget Gas Fill-ups’ without even consulting you. He wanted a slumber party with his daughter in YOUR shared bedroom, and now he’s mad that you ruined his power trip? 🚩 Sounds like he needs a co-pilot for his life’s chaos, not a girlfriend."

"Also, let’s not ignore the fact that he contributed less to this trip than the free peanuts at a gas station. You deserve better than this man-child who treats joint custody like an excuse to ambush your plans. Pack his box, return it, and move on with your life,” they further added.

One individual declared, “NTA. He clearly feels incredibly entitled to your money, trip, and it’s so weird that he wanted his 17 year old daughter to sleep in the same room with you two. I would get out of this relationship.”

“NTA. He said he isn't attracted to you anymore. If you asking for your boundaries to be respected kills his attraction to you, then he was just using you, he viewed you as someone to manipulate to his will,” another added.

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